Anata Mitai ni - Ch. 6

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I think they're both nursing inferiority complexes that developed at different times — Yayoi's from her school days, and Kanna from her career. Yayoi hid hers better (until recently) because she's had more time to build up a confident persona / mask. She was probably forced to in order to survive at the black company and then as a freelancer. Kanna's battered confidence is a more recent change for her, she seems to be dealing with her lowest point for the first time.

The out-of-sync periods in which their confidence was damaged meant at the start of the story Kanna was visibly broken and Yayoi seemed super confident and self-assured, but you can see in this chapter how preoccupied Yayoi was that Kanna would 'discover' the less glamorous, less worthy version of herself in their first meeting.

Along with both thinking little of themselves, I think they're both also in awe of each other. Kanna sees all of Yayoi's success and tenderness, and Yayoi recognises all of Kanna's sweetness and the kinda naive optimism she has now and had back in school as well. That awe further increases the gap between them in their minds.

Obviously, from the outside we can see that they're both idiot wet cat lesbians who see the best in the other while judging themselves way too harshly. FFS, that first meeting, the entire time Yayoi was sitting there worried Kanna would find out she was a dork in high school, Kanna's sitting there thinking "this is the most perfect woman on the planet, how is someone as pathetic as me able to get along with her." Even after Kanna knew who she was, Yayoi seemingly didn't catch on to how Kanna's regard for her didn't drop an inch. Wonder if it's gonna take Yuuko clonking their heads together at some point for them to get it.

As for the sexual attraction, I think they've both compartmentalised that as separate to love and regard for each other as people, at least enough to be uncertain if the other likes them all that much beyond as a friend with benefits.

I think about these two too much...
As an approaching her mid-forties woman, I can big time relate to teenage wounds and insecurities staying a part of you, even with time passing. You learn to live with them and build around them, but low self-esteem definitely has a way of staying with you (^^) . The good news is, you can find people along the way who can make you feel stronger than you are, like these two have done :)
 
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She ran away crying because she thought Yayoi wasnt single and somehow Yayoi thinks she doesnt like her.
 
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Where can i find such scans
Ame nochi Yuki by Sirainu (chapters are released 1 month early on Sirainu’s Fanbox; chapters 1–6 are free on Pixiv while chapter 7 is Fanbox-exclusive currently)

The English version of Asuka and Misaki is coming out soon, so look out on Anjinneko’s Twitter for that.

Works by Yaya-sama (the site is in Japanese, but all these works are English):
Hime to Yayuyo: Hime to Yayuyo ch1, Say You Love Me (a side story)
BLOODDIARY works: BLOODDIARY0, Lonely Lose, Wanting More
Devil’s Lover 1 and 2
The Secret Sleepover (oneshot)
 
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i don't get why either of them are lacking confidence in how much the other likes them.. Yayoi not sure if Kanna will fall for her and Kanna with a pretty normal? inferiority complex

work and professional life is one thing but idk how they don't see they're into each other as if they're not constantly making moves and literally begging for it
Have u ever tried to find a girlfriend as a lesbian outside of queer environments? This shit is pretty realistic especially if on isn't sure of their sexuality yet. It would constantly feel like just being an experiment and not like your feelings could ever get reciprocated in a romantic sense.
 
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i mean kanna literally says in this chapter “i’m not sure if im actually into women” so no wonder yayoi thinks kanna only sees their relationship as a friends with benefits type deal.

i know it takes awhile for people to accept huge revelations about themselves but how kanna can still be questioning her sexuality atp is beyond me.
 
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i mean kanna literally says in this chapter “i’m not sure if im actually into women” so no wonder yayoi thinks kanna only sees their relationship as a friends with benefits type deal.

i know it takes awhile for people to accept huge revelations about themselves but how kanna can still be questioning her sexuality atp is beyond me.
It's an odd line, but I read it as Kanna being self-deprecating again, similar to her pre-apology on their first night together, 'I've never been with a woman before, sorry If I mess up.' Basically her saying 'I don't know if I qualify as a lesbian, I'm uneducated on the topic.'

It could also be her still coming to terms with it and a little internalised homophobia. But also, yeah, you've spent a month yearning for more sex with a woman, wake up idiot XD
 

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