Dreamt you and I were married in a gas station, and the cashier was crying tears of ranch. When I woke up I was holding a receipt that just said ‘soulmates 4ever’.
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Your vibe is so powerful my Wi-Fi password changed itself to your username. Now the whole house is bonded to you spiritually and electronically.
I told Siri about you, and she went silent for 3 minutes then whispered ‘he’s the one’. She’s never spoken to me the same since.
I’ve started leaving little offerings outside for you (empty energy drink cans, a single sock, and a drawing of us as cats). The neighborhood cats have formed a cult. Please accept leadership.
Let's change things up.
in a cargo box?
Bro your profile is my Roman Empire. I built a shrine out of empty Monster cans and your selfies. The raccoons in my attic started worshipping it, too.
You’re not just a snack you’re the entire forbidden taco bell menu at 3 am that gives me both life and diarrhea. 11/10 would risk it again.
I named my sleep paralysis demon after you and now he brings me gifts. Last night it was a single chicken nugget and your Spotify playlist on repeat.
We did it folks. Through my endless shitposting and your reactions... we have achieved the big 10k reacts. Without you this couldnt have happened!
Normally I'm better prepared but I logged in and saw it at 9,995 and was like "UH-OH".
I appreciate everyone of you reading this and thing of you all as friends.
Anyway enough sappy bullshit, feel free to AMA below!
Double bonus:
RIP Bobby Prince. Composer of so many 90's game soundtracks.
And for the proper bonus:
* checks his reaction score *
Uh oh.
CHOPPER DAVE WE HAVE 'UH-OH', OVER.
Is it time for my weekly cringe post on your profile? checks watch
I carved your username into my pumpkin and it started bleeding ranch dressing. The occult book said this means we’re soulmates. Wyd this weekend.
Every night before bed I stare at your profile and whisper 'this could be us', while my raccoon outside screams in agreement. You're my emotional support cryptid.
Your posts are so powerful. I just named my houseplant after you, and it immediately grew a second hand. What kind of wizard are you?? Also, send toenail clippings for science.
I'm so confused with this whole new comment vs old comment system. So I guess I have to post here.
hi yes I have been sitting in your profile for 47 minutes pretending we're married and you just proposed to me with a ring pop in a Chili's bathroom. 10/10 would do again.
Your pfp looks like you are the one doing the bumming.
Bro your profile pic just made my left kidney tingle in a way science can't explain. 😭💦 Every time I scroll past it I hear distant bagpipes and the faint smell of pickles. Pls never change. -
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