Bokura no Ai wa Kimochi Warui - Ch. 12
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temu ahh blackmail, just expose her own dirt and she's cooked wallah
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Yeah, I think it’s definitely possible. I would see homoromantic asexual as being overall the most likely development, while at the same time being hard to say for sure while she’s still stuck playing out a narrative and making self-harming choices. I just don’t want people to see her as just being “contradictory” in a basic way…she’s got a lot of cognitive dissonance, she’s giving her own self the runaround as much as she is Azuki.
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See, I’m the complete opposite. Once again: asexuality is not a trauma response. Azuki didn’t say she wouldn’t because she didn’t desire to, she said she wouldn’t because it would be cruel. Additionally she then went on to reassure Meguru that she was still in love with her. If Meguru was asexual and homoromantic, with a violent aversion to sexual activities this would have been the ideal outcome: a partner who romantically loves her but respects her sexual boundaries.
My take is that she DOES feel sexual desire, but her trauma obviously consciously perceives that as the greatest evil. So she uses plushes as a “safe” outlet, that is the source of her paraphilia. I would say that hopefully this is the beginning of a journey towards a safe and healthy understanding of her sexuality and the healing her trauma, but I don’t actually see Azuki to be in the mental health space to be that partner. All it’s gonna do is mess them both up. And I’m not just saying that as a Remu/Azuki shipper.
As for Niji I am not touching that one with a twelve foot pole. Meguru may be acting toxically unconsciously, but Niji knows exactly what she’s doing and doesn’t care what happens to the real people as long as they align with her demented fantasy. Get out of there Remu! Think of your doll!
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That new cover design is diabolical, gives me anxiety just looking at it.
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Hell yeah. These girls are coming to terms with their issues way too quickly. Thank god we've got Best Girl Niji here to be an unbreakable wall of toxicity against the encroaching flood of self-improvement.
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scary..
I don't think Meguru being asexual would be a trauma response, the fact that she thinks lust and love are so interlinked that she rejects the idea of love is where her trauma effects her. And on the flip side, Meguru is left confused and frustrated because she thinks that if Azuki doesn't feel lust, then she doesn't feel love. IMO her ideal is a sexless relationship, but she doesn't believe there's anyone else on earth who could want that. I don't think Azuki or Meguru are aware that asexuality is a thing, otherwise they could probably figure out their wants and needs without thinking that Azuki's sexual desire is evil.
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I think what's happening here is that Meguru is starting to work through her trauma, and that she hasn't really consciously realized that yet.
She's grown up, she's an adult now and regardless of whether she actually wants to have sex or not. She's no longer as disgusted by the idea that she'd blow up her relationship with Azuki over it anymore.
Obviously she still has a lot to work through, she really doesn't understand why Azuki refusing to cross a very clear boundary irritates her now. It's because the extreme line of basically not even holding hands is in fact a trauma response and regardless of where the real line lies. Meguru is on the verge of realizing she does want to be closer and she does want some amount of physical closeness with it.
Niji.... oh boy. The other three have problems too but their problems are really centered on themselves right. Niji's problem is this desire for her crush to be like her idea of Remu and deciding that if Remu violates that idea then Remu is wrong.
She's grown up, she's an adult now and regardless of whether she actually wants to have sex or not. She's no longer as disgusted by the idea that she'd blow up her relationship with Azuki over it anymore.
Obviously she still has a lot to work through, she really doesn't understand why Azuki refusing to cross a very clear boundary irritates her now. It's because the extreme line of basically not even holding hands is in fact a trauma response and regardless of where the real line lies. Meguru is on the verge of realizing she does want to be closer and she does want some amount of physical closeness with it.
Niji.... oh boy. The other three have problems too but their problems are really centered on themselves right. Niji's problem is this desire for her crush to be like her idea of Remu and deciding that if Remu violates that idea then Remu is wrong.
I see people like not happy with Meguru which I get but honestly? This seems like it could be healing? Like being a traumatised young woman is hard, shes made mistakes here but she's trying to fighre out whats going on in her own head. Thats difficult! And shes interrogating herself! Thats good!
Our protagonist is also doing well. Shes trying to do her best to navigate this with her. Its kinda sweet and theres less of a maturity gap between these two. It feels natural.
i actually like moving away from the idea of Remu and Aizuki together. Remu getting jealous and crushing is cute, but its also unhealthy.
Our protagonist is also doing well. Shes trying to do her best to navigate this with her. Its kinda sweet and theres less of a maturity gap between these two. It feels natural.
i actually like moving away from the idea of Remu and Aizuki together. Remu getting jealous and crushing is cute, but its also unhealthy.
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Yeah, you make some great points. In response I would just say, that like @dumbziri pointed out, I'm not trying to interpret Meguru's asexuality as a trauma response. Rather, I would think that she was always asexual, and the trauma came in the form of viewing sexuality as negative and wholly separate from love for other people. Her trauma makes her unable to intuitively understand how other people experience romance and in turn limits her understanding of her own sexuality. The cognitive dissonance comes from her understanding other people's romance rationally but not intuitively.
As for,
Her realizing this would first require her to understand her own sexuality. Azuki didn't say, "I want to touch you, but I'm going to respect your boundaries instead." Meguru said, "You want to touch me don't you?" and Azuki said, "No, I will never touch you again." As for the 'confession' from Azuki, we'd have to go to the raws to be sure, but I'd assume Azuki said something along the lines of 「めぐるちゃんが好き」which would be vague enough that it could sound like "I want to be friends with you again" to the confused Meguru (which undeniably Meguru is very confused right now either way). That along with Azuki's refusal to touch her could come off as a rejection to someone vulnerable and inexperienced like Meguru.
All that being said, that was just my initial interpretation of events. Yours makes a lot of sense to me as well, to the point where I'm not sure which one seems more likely. Guess we'll have to wait and see to be sure, but it makes for very compelling character writing either way.
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A whole gaggle of messed up girls...
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Thank you for the chapter.
