Boy's Abyss - Ch. 181 - Mire
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I'm going to be completely honest here, this chapter was cringe. Maybe I don't get it but this is just cringe at this point.
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Himegoto is still a much better manga all things considered
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This was never the case. Even well before this chapter, it's clear Reiji thought about himself first and foremost. People don't like to hear it, but victimization breeds bad behavior (and people). Reiji only thinks about his pain, because he's been hurt so much. if Reiji gave a damn about Nagi, he wouldn't care about Mao - someone who has been out of Nagi's life for years. He'd have helped Nagi out of sensei's house and thought of a future. The hell would killing Mao accomplish? Why did he literally get a boner from the thought of killing Mao after suffering ED for over 100 chapters? Simple: Mao is Nagi's Yuko. He's projecting his own circumstances on her and sees a chance to get back at an "offender". That's why Ryo had Mao say he's a "weak person" because that's the same excuse Yuko gave Reiji, so Reiji juxtaposed her image on him. Yuko made him lose his dick, and the thought of finally getting revenge on "her' got him hard again.
It sounds ridiculous but this is just his mommy issues flaring. He's done nothing but act out ever since grandmother told him about his "father".
As for sensei, she's trying to do the smart thing for once and act like an adult. She's telling Reiji that he can do whatever he wants, whether or not she's involved, as long as he lives. Reiji leaves because he's a blithering idiot who has lost everything to cling to. I'll save Chako? Nope, Chako saved by Shinooka. i'll wait for Gen? Nada, Gen told him he doesn't need to. Big bro? Already helped by Sensei and is getting his life back on track. Confrontation with Mom? She's on her way out.
Every single person who latched onto Reiji at the start of this manga has left him in one way or another. He's free but he can do nothing with it. This chapter is coherent, but it is not likable because Reijii is not a likable or rational person. Never has been, and he is experiencing negative character development. He gets worse, but he also gets more aware of how bad things are.
I'm willing to bet that he only "loved" Nagi for her circumstances. The "abyss" inside her so to speak.
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himegoto's ending was solid thougheverbeit
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yeah this is basically what I came to after dithering around wondering what this rubbish all meant
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Warning: longass post ahead:
In the end, Reiji is a depressed and desperate individual who was clinging to any excuse to keep living, succumbing to his own abyss, feeling it was a righteous action, even if in the end the one who was hurting and becoming evil was himself. Depression can really twist people's mind and mindset. Yuri's crying fit was what made him land that realization (and that coming from another woman who realized she became evil because of being weak to his and her own abyss): that he was becoming the very thing he wanted to prove Mao and his ancestors they were. That shit was what stripped hom from his desire to live and made him go and die. The woman at that bridge is basically a tulpa of the shinigami Nagi, his temptation of thanatos who's gonna whisk him away. And he'll confess his sins and terminal realization to that tulpa before his final attempt at unaliving himself.
Everything Reiji felt after granny's revelation was basically him realizing he ain't that different from Yuuko. Promising Gen he'll wait forever? Pulling Yuri into his abyss? All because he loathes being alone, just like his mom. You can tell he is deep fucked in the head because of his mommy depression to the point he misunderstood Chako's wish for him to be saved and thought she wanted to be saved from Shino'oka.
Everything because he never got the answer he wanted from his mom and she's gonna die nevertheless, so he's getting those answers through experience. And worsened because he never understood Gen and Chako's wishes (and Yuri's): instead of thinking they wanted him to get better (which is true), he is feeling everyone of them were leaving him behind. He thinks Nagi is a lost cause too after she disowned him as her shinigami and even told him they were polar opposites, even if he still doesn't know why she turned back to chase him. And even if Reiji did have her best regards (even though the reason Nagi wants to die is simply because Mao "cursed" her with the blame for her parents' death, she's dying to atone for something she never did), once again, it was to prove Mao he was a piece of shit when the piece of shit was being him.
What we may be seeing now is Reiji realizing through experience he's just as evil as his ancestors if not more and that, just like him, Yuuko and Yumiko also clang to any excuse to keep themselves alive, the final one being him. In the end, he'll realize Yuuko, unlike Mao with his niece, did love him after all, even if her way to show it is by clinging to him, he'll also realize once she dies Yuuko also wanted him to be free (by dying with Akira, she released Reiji and ultimately also wanted him to get better), possibly confessing all that shit to the tulpa. And that's the another thing that will make him jump to the river with the tulpa of the shinigami Nagi, the main one realizing through Yuri's crying fit he would acheive nothing by killing Mao or killing Nagi, the regret for not having understood Yuuko at all. He doesn't have more reasons to live, so he has nothing to lose, he thinks Nagi doesn't want anything from him other than being her butcherer, in conclusion: his life was also a mistake, but we know by the 2 drafts both Nagi and him are going to live, and based on the final color page, she'll somehow leave from the curse Mao placed upon her and will literal, figurative and metaphysically save him in any way (Reiji's head is painted with cold and opaque colors showing he's on the brink of dying from inmersion, while those hands, who are Nagi's because of the bleeding left hand, are painted with warm and vibrant colors. Basically a hint she's gonna find out from Mao's mouth the truth about the death of her parents during the Tohoku earthquake and have kind of a spiritual rebirth through snapping).
Once he gets saved by the reborn real Nagi, and if we go by Shino'oka's version of the 1991 lovers abyss incident where her reason to live is constantly apologizing to Uryuu's spirit for his seemingly useless sacrifice (all because Akira was another evil person who misunderstood everything and told Yuuko those hurtful words, even though it took him getting terminal cancer to realize he was an incel piece of shit and Reiji and Yuri's lectures to finally try to live his last days the right way atoning and making amends for his actions), he'll very likely have to live apologizing to his ancestors and loved ones for having misunderstood them. Because no fucking way he's gonna die without finding out his mom and Esemori died.
Still i think Mao isn't just weak. If something, he may also be a human: an evil one who believed his own lies. Considering he didn't remember Nagi's true name (he ran through her 3 other stage names) and even was trying to toy with her with that are you testing me?, it was obvious he never cared about Nagi and only used her to socially climb... possibly to take back at society for shunning him away and Nagi's mom for abandoning him (all of this based on the flashback. Let's remember he told Nagi how him and his mom ran away to Tokyo after their mom married with a person Nagi's mom hated and once she got divorced, Mao was left in Tokyo alone where he basically was seen as a pariah. And Tomoka (Nagi's ex-bestie) was savvy and sharp enough to pick on Mao's true intentions, but Nagi was already cursed by her uncle. Considering the 3 are still at Gen's site, and once again, because of the hint in the color page, Mao will tell the truth about why he used Nagi and possibly taunt her calling out her naiveté for thinking she would have killed her parents. It's just natural to think Nagi will fucking snap after realizing she lost 10 years where she could live a correct life, fooling around with Tomoka, ect... basically realizing Reiji was right all this time, despite of him having his personal self-serving and self-desteuctive agenda.
Now we'll get why Nagi showed that murderously angry face when Esemori told her to live. The implication was always there: she thinks living means having to put up with the sexual abuse feom the showbiz industry. That savage face will appear once again... and Nagi may feel the urge to kill Mao for all the things he did to her and made her do, but that will be the moment Yuri will interfere and take the burden of being a murderer.
I don't think Mao will come out alive of this, Yuri will murder him only to stop Nagi from staining her hands herself. She already did evil things out of her obsession with Reiji, lost her job as a teacher, made the Shibasawas become the shame of The Town, is having a trial for her felonies, and gave up on Reiji, so at this point of her story, she has nothing to protect and nothing to lose. The only thing she can do is let Nagi be the one who saves him and take the burden of their sins and crimes. Basically take the fall for what Reiji was gonna do even if she doesn't have to do so.
Maybe Reiji did love the real kid behind Nagi, all of this shit started because all this time he wanted to see the real Nagi that time he slept with her after all. But once he got what he wanted, and because he thought that nice kid was dead because of Nagi not being able to feel anger at her circumstances because of that lie, he, in his depression and warped mental state, basically used the situation as a pretense to vent his accummulated bad blood against his circumstances and cling to another excuse to live that would hurt him. Reiji was thinking he was doing the righteous thing, maybe he is right about Nagi not having lived a right life, but in the end, because he never knew himself how to live the right way, he became evil, once he gets cucked from his schizophrenic lovers suicide, he'll have to learn to live the right way.
Chako in the end was right too. Reiji was in need of a salvation no one from The Town could give him. Even if he doesn't deserve any salvation and actually should die or become a pariah for having turned into the most evil character, but we know he's getting his way, all because he was just depressed and desperate for answers, and all because Yuri will take the fall for everything he did, but amongst everything, because he still is a teen. As of how the story goes, Reiji isn't still 18, story is still stuck in March 24th (Mao came to the town 1 week after picking Reiji's call, which happened on March 17th). So he's getting another fucking pass for not being judged as an adult for his actions.
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His mom isn't that tall tho.
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Uuughh the teacher is so annoying and pathetic, obsessed with a teenager and ruining her life because of it
She
allready ruined her life but I root for her she helped and tried to help those weirdos
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Thanks for this. That's really insightful. I hope you stick around and do these kind of texts for the remaining 2 chapters as well.
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The issue here is that she's dealing a lost battle with 2 borderline chronically depressed people with suicidal tendencies. And you can't demand someone with depression to live. Yuri's issue is that she lacks the empathy to deal with the situation and her words, instead of solving things, just made them worse. They have to find a strong reason to keep living happily and the right way and reconcile with themselves. Tellibg a depressive person to live is like telling a mute to talk.
Reiji thinks his life was purposeless and haven't achieved anything in the end by doing what he did. At least he didn't become a murderer, but he's set to die alone. Only one person could save him, but at this point they're running out of time, and depends on Mao revealing why he did all those things and admit he just used Nagi, because all this shit began because he told his niece she killed her parents.
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holy fuck
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Having sex with your underage student is not trying to help him… it’s pedophilia and predatory behaviour. She was doing those things for her own pleasure. Yuri is not the best character here at all. Her so called empathy is not real. She even came to that conclusion herself.
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And not only that.
She's an adult, Reiji is a kid. And she was her teacher. She crossed the line a long time ago, and she acts like she is the victim here, but she keeps getting herself in trouble for no reason.
