Daiakutou Shounen - Ch. 3 - The Rabbit, Cat, Bear and Snake Heroes

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Every kid needs an imaginary demon goat. Great chapter! :glee::hearts::hearts::hearts:
Thank you for the translation! :hearts:
PS: The translation notes are excellent. Thank you for adding them!
 
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So there was a time limit? xD
He's screwed now. And it was 50 percent Goat's responsibility.
 
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This story's getting good (interesting the idol-heroes got in trouble for doing some random help).
 
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Thanks for the chapter!

Typos & edit suggestions: @StopwatchTL
  • p5 the world has no choice -> the world will have no choice
  • p8 obnoxious as of late. -> obnoxious as of late?
  • p10 They're all lined up for them -> People are all lined up for them // There's even a line for them
  • p10 in the restoration of all disaster-stricken areas -> in the restoration of disaster-stricken areas
  • p11 Is it okay if I were to get -> Would it be okay for me to get
  • p11 runs all of Critical. -> [This is weird. According to c1p7, Critical is the hero organization, rather than the city, but that's inconsistent with their head being a "mayor", specifically. And in c4p16, he's referred to as the mayor of New Canaan, instead.]
  • p15 notified them already -> notified the heroes already [or similar]
  • p16 Why would you hand me those flowers -> [in c1p59, it's only one flower/plant]
  • p19 tigh-ten -> tight-en [*wow* is English sometimes awkward]
  • p20 you recently touched -> you've recently touched
  • p21 isn't unrecoverable from -> isn't unrecoverable
  • p22 won't stop at a 1 to 1 win/less ratio -> [?]
 
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Typos & edit suggestions: @StopwatchTL
Thanks for the suggestions! I very much appreciate feedback. The following is my response to your suggestions:
(TL;DR most are deliberate decisions, but pages 10 and 20 were adjusted)
  • p5 I know that technically yours is more correct but the resulting text in the bubble just looks off. The comma after "at that point" is there to have my version be grammatically correct.
  • p8 its a rhetorical question, the full stop is there to indicate that (and yes, it is grammatically correct).
  • p10 ("lined up") Goat talks in a different tone, so him phrasing it like that is a deliberate decision.
  • p10 ("restoration") yours sounds better, will be adopted.
  • p11 ("is it okay") both work but I do still prefer mine.
  • p11 ("mayor") Eta really does say that: "実質クリティカルの運営とかしてる" (lit. essentially, he kind of operates CRITICAL). I added a TL Note to indicate that this really is no mistranslation. By the way, Goat asked him (lit.) "…the mayor. what does that person do?"
  • p15 he doesn't mention "hero" in the raws, and considering the context (hero society and both of them being involved in the event organization) it should be obvious that they're referring to the heroes.
  • p16 although yes, she was handed a singular flower branch (or similar?), but I believe that she'd use the plural version, were she talking in English that is (especially since she's using a polite tone in that moment).
  • p19 already tried it, just looks weird in practice. I do usually adhere to syllabification, but in this case, exceptions have to be made (I always double-check whenever I have to divide words into multiple syllables)
  • p20 yours sounds and looks better, will be used instead.
  • p21 a previous version used your phrasing but I believe the current one to sound and look better.
  • p22 Goat says "1勝1敗" (lit. 1 win, 1 loss) and that was the best sentence I could come up with. No more no less.
Again, thank you for the suggestions!
 
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Thanks for the suggestions! I very much appreciate feedback. The following is my response to your suggestions:
(TL;DR most are deliberate decisions, but pages 10 and 20 were adjusted)
  • p5 I know that technically yours is more correct but the resulting text in the bubble just looks off. The comma after "at that point" is there to have my version be grammatically correct.
  • p8 its a rhetorical question, the full stop is there to indicate that (and yes, it is grammatically correct).
  • p10 ("lined up") Goat talks in a different tone, so him phrasing it like that is a deliberate decision.
  • p10 ("restoration") yours sounds better, will be adopted.
  • p11 ("is it okay") both work but I do still prefer mine.
  • p11 ("mayor") Eta really does say that: "実質クリティカルの運営とかしてる" (lit. essentially, he kind of operates CRITICAL). I added a TL Note to indicate that this really is no mistranslation. By the way, Goat asked him (lit.) "…the mayor. what does that person do?"
  • p15 he doesn't mention "hero" in the raws, and considering the context (hero society and both of them being involved in the event organization) it should be obvious that they're referring to the heroes.
  • p16 although yes, she was handed a singular flower branch (or similar?), but I believe that she'd use the plural version, were she talking in English that is (especially since she's using a polite tone in that moment).
  • p19 already tried it, just looks weird in practice. I do usually adhere to syllabification, but in this case, exceptions have to be made (I always double-check whenever I have to divide words into multiple syllables)
  • p20 yours sounds and looks better, will be used instead.
  • p21 a previous version used your phrasing but I believe the current one to sound and look better.
  • p22 Goat says "1勝1敗" (lit. 1 win, 1 loss) and that was the best sentence I could come up with. No more no less.
Again, thank you for the suggestions!
Hey there, I'm glad you appreciate the feedback. But please don't feel the need to respond to my suggestions, I'm trying to help, not make extra work for you^^.

That said, let me justify a few of my suggestions:
  • p10 The problem is in "They're all lined up for them", as in, there are two they/them pronouns and they refer to different groups, so there's reference ambiguity. That's why my suggestions try to either make one of the pronoun references explicit ("They" -> People) or to remove one pronoun entirely.
  • p11 Is it okay if I were to -> [I feel like this is mixing up tenses.]
  • p21 "isn't unrecoverable from" -- I was actually unsure about that sentence, but two AI assistants didn't like the combo of double negative + ending on "from". An alternative suggestion would be "The situation is not beyond recovery."
 

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