---- (though it's hilarious that we barely get to hand holding in a lot of them hahaha!)
That is the main point, they aren't really harems, they are more like a bunch of numales who have lots of girls around, you always know nothing will happen until the end when he would decide who is the winner, sometimes he ascends the ultimate numale level and decides to be a numale forever, so no girls, there is no real tension, no real pleasure of knowing that for once it is the male who is taking the role and desire.
----Being desired by multiple men would be the same thing for women.
Yes, the thing is that it doesn't happen in just reverse harem, it happens in nearly all romance or tag like, tragedy,drama,ecchi,schoolife,smut..., so yes, if the male characters is desired by multiple women, we need to make it so the female character is also desired by multiple men, that is in the few cases where the male is desired and is a playboy who loves attention of women around him.
----Even in seinen/shounen you'll find that a lot of F-MCs get stressed when a female rival appears.
Idk what is seinen, but shounen is the numale thing I said, even the chaddest of shounen characters like Asta is already devoted to the priest, Luffy is asexual, Natsu is asexual, even in stories like AOT you need a simp like Jean to justify Eren having girls around him, so if Eren has the girls around him, you need a simp like Jean around Mikasa.
----There's one I read the first chapter today where the FMC literally goes for a guy with a girlfriend. I admire her tenacity, the crazy toxic tenacity lol.
Yes, the girl will suddenly love the ML, the guy with a girlfriend will break up with the girlfriend and so the battle of simps will start, with the FL thinking who does she love more, the ML or the guy she used to love, there will be tons of drama, maybe some NTR, lot of tension, ML will simp hard, guy even harder and so on until FL decides she loves ML and decides to make him her sexual slave forever.
----Like the concept of ecchi and harem etc. tends to be male wish fulfillment
False, well maybe true if you are a voyeur and likes your girlfriend getting fucked by strangers, but generally ecchi has the same simp for the women, the only problem is that the simps are even more aggressive, so the changes of "stolen kisses" or full NTR cucking the ML rise up.
I already said everything I had to said about harem genre
That is the thing, you need a list for showing cases of ML attracting plenty of women with no simps behind those women, I can pick you up the first 3 romance that appear on the main page, and bet those 3 will have the male love and the tiresome simp around the women, while the women will feel desired by that.