"Your eyes are fake."
"Of course these aren't my real eyes. I bought them from the Opthalmonger in Market Street last Tuesday. They're a little dry behind the sockets, though, so I'll probably get a new pair tomorrow. He said he'd have some nice violet ones in. I hear they're all the rage this spring. Can you believe there are still provincials wearing blu-- Oh, I'm so sorry, forget I said anything."