I actually got kinda into it at first, then I realized this will never happen, or anything like it. Being old and getting older sucks. When I think back on how some people actually got to experience friendships and love... Way to ruin this manga for myself. Not like I can find any solace with telling myself "Life will get better..."
The past can't be changed and people already are shaped by their experiences like a blade leaving its mark on wood as the carver chips away at it piece by piece to give form to his vision. Only for some, the carvers hand slipped and took of more than needed, left an ugly mark that can not be undone, only covered up or "corrected", the true vision never to be achieved leaving him with a less than satisfactory work of art, in some cases a junk piece only good for firewood.
I was a clumsy carver of my life, working with an already difficult to shape piece of wood, I suppose the only way to salvage whats left is to chip away at those dreams that still linger.
Let's not forget that time also only moves in one direction, without ever slowing down no matter how much you wish for a moment of respite.