There were some awkward bits, but this is absolutely acceptable (and great given the lack of updates):
- You don't have pronouns changing every panel (the sure sign of bad MTL without an editor who knows English)
- I can actually understand what's going on without (in bad translations) translating the 'english' back to japanese and figuring out where the 'translator' went wrong, which is entirely too much work.
Obviously not a perfect translation, but more than good enough. You're doing good, thank you.