Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 37 - Confession

[middle-the-nerd]

I also thought they weren't but someone else pointed out that nope, in the novel they were still hanging out all the time.

Hmmmmm might need to skim through the novelization later feels like a pretty damn important thing to leave out of the manga

I sorta agree that it might play out this way but I feel like in the real world "I thought he was in love w/ you but slept w/ him to make myself feel better but it didn't work out cause I ghosted and he was in love with you" would be burn it down infuriating.

Tbf Yami didn't know Hikari yet and they DEFINITELY weren't friends yet plus Hikari didn't have feelings for Yuu at the time so Yuu was right in thinking that Hikari didn't like him romantically so imo Hikari can't be THAT mad that he didn't confess his feelings to her at the time and slept with Yami instead

 

[story645]

feels like a pretty damn important thing to leave out of the manga

Might see it in the Yuu flashback?

Tbf Yami didn't know Hikari yet and they DEFINITELY weren't friends yet

So I agree in that I think at the time that the only person Yami was betraying was herself (sleeping w/ someone you think is in love w/ someone else is only an ok(ish) idea if you're also in love w/ someone else or experienced enough to know you won't get attached), but I also see how Hikari could be like "why didn't you encourage him to get the girl?" since Hikari seems to be selfless like that.

I think w/ Yuu, the issue is that dating Aya was part of his pattern of cowardice and now is complicated by her friendship w/ Aya. Like he'd hidden the exam and when he failed he fled to Aya.

 

[Litreara]

Yes but it's also VERY dependent on Yuu's explanation and how he handles it especially since Yami initiated the kiss that parts not his fault he's only liable for lying about where he was which was shitty but we really need to know his POV to properly judge fully for all we know maybe Yami asked Yuu not tell Hikari about what happened knowing she fucked up or Yuu was worried Hikari would get the wrong idea there's definitely explanations that would be understandable why he didn't tell her (this isn't saying that he made the right choice just that we don't know enough)

Honestly I'm kinda 50/50 somehow I think everything will end it's all gonna come down to seeing his POV and there's some implications now he might of had genuine reasons outside of an initial lack of self confidence to think Hikari wouldn't be interested in him romantically that only intensified his worries

I don't think he's REALLY a bad person he's a teenager with confidence issues that feels like he's not good for the girl he's been in love with for 10 years I can possibly understand some of the choices he's making yeah he fucked up he knows this and acknowledges it but if he actuallys learns from everything mans tf up and just be fully honest with Hikari about all of his feelings and assuming he has an at least understandable reason why he didn't tell her what happened- I think Hikari could be understanding and willing to try and work through it with him

Or i'm completely fuckin off the ball and he really is just a piece of shit guess we'll have to find out in his POV lmao

Edit: hope that shit made sense I wrote it after taking sleeping pills

I think this was the moment Yuu lost his chance with Hikari:

He could have said something like:

"Sorry, I ran into someone and was talking to her. The truth is, the reason I was hesitant to come to your school is because I didn’t want to run into her and make things awkward—she’s my ex-girlfriend."

I don’t think that’s too much to say. He didn’t even need to tell her it was Yami or mention the kiss. But what did he choose to do? Tell a weak lie that Hikari knew was a lie:

...

Yuu: "Hikari..."
Hikari: "......"

Hikari: "Then, why didn’t you check LINE?"
Yuu: "Actually, um... my phone died..."

As if he could see right through my thoughts, he started making excuses for all the times we’d missed each other, even though I hadn’t asked.

But, you know, that’s a lie, right?
Because, just a moment ago, it showed as "read."

Yuu: "And then, I was wandering around the school... before I knew it, it got completely dark..."

Truth is, you probably forgot about me until you checked your phone, didn’t you?
You only started frantically looking for me after you saw the notification, right?

Are you really that shaken up that you’d tell such an obvious lie?

Yuu: "The cultural festival’s over, huh... I’m really sorry."

Yeah, it’s over.

While you were kissing Aya-chan, you know.

...

I don't know. I don't think it's fixable, and I don't see how Yuu or Yami can fix it. I mean, sure, they can be honest with Hikari now—but what value does that have after they've already been caught? To me, none. That's why I think their friendship is still salvageable, but a romantic relationship is out of the question. I mean, that's what I would expect from good writing.

 

[Mrson]

I think this was the moment Yuu lost his chance with Hikari:

He could have said something like:

"Sorry, I ran into someone and was talking to her. The truth is, the reason I was hesitant to come to your school is because I didn’t want to run into her and make things awkward—she’s my ex-girlfriend."

I don’t think that’s too much to say. He didn’t even need to tell her it was Yami or mention the kiss. But what did he choose to do? Tell a weak lie that Hikari knew was a lie:


I don't know. I don't think it's fixable, and I don't see how Yuu or Yami can fix it. I mean, sure, they can be honest with Hikari now—but what value does that have after they've already been caught? To me, none. That's why I think their friendship is still salvageable, but a romantic relationship is out of the question. I mean, that's what I would expect from good writing.

Mmm... I disagree with you on that, since Yuu wouldn't know how he would react if I told him that Hikari took him to the festival when he didn't want to, and because of her he ran into his ex-girlfriend, we also have to think about that.
I didn't want to worry him and in the last panel Yuu clarifies that he knew Hikari was behaving strangely, so all the more reason he didn't want to say anything.

 

[story645]

Yuu clarifies that he knew Hikari was behaving strangely, so all the more reason he didn't want to say anything.

Which is why he's a coward, which is why she's angry.

 

[wozbond]

Which is why he's a coward, which is why she's angry.

Hikari has spent five months not confessing. There's plenty of cowardice to go around for all three characters. If not for Yuu's diabolically-timed confession following his encounter with his ghosted ex-girlfriend, Hikari wouldn't have anything to be legitimately angry about.

 

[Litreara]

Mmm... I disagree with you on that, since Yuu wouldn't know how he would react if I told him that Hikari took him to the festival when he didn't want to, and because of her he ran into his ex-girlfriend, we also have to think about that.
I didn't want to worry him and in the last panel Yuu clarifies that he knew Hikari was behaving strangely, so all the more reason he didn't want to say anything.

First, there's a misconception here. Yuu never said he didn't want to go. What actually happened is that Yuu, being the wishy-washy guy that he is, couldn't muster up the courage to tell Hikari about the awkward situation that might happen if he went to her school. Here's the excerpt from the novel:

...

Yuu: "Mm... but, you know..."
Hikari: "...Ta-kun?"
Yuu: "I mean, I really appreciate the invite. And I am interested. That's for real."

His reaction wasn't what I'd hoped for. It wasn't the worst-case scenario either, but... it leaned a little too close to the meh side of things.

Yuu: "But, this time, it's just..."
Hikari: "Is that a no?"
Yuu: "Well, it's just that... it's your school, right?"
Hikari: "And what about my school?"
Yuu: "Ah, sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

I hadn't expected him to be this hesitant.
It wasn't the kind of shock I'd ever felt before -- it hit differently this time.

Hikari: "Did you already have plans?"
Yuu: "No, it's not that..."

So, is it not a matter of not yet, but instead, never going to happen?

Well, we're just childhood friends, after all. Of course he wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Ugh, what am I even doing? Jumping the gun like this... no, actually, what was I even thinking?
Pushing too hard is just going to push him away.

I should say it. Got it.
Like, Alright! Let's just drop this! and pretend this whole thing never happened.

Hikari: "Then why...?"
Yuu: "Huh...?"

See? There I go again.

I know this kind of thing just pushes him further away. I know that.
What's wrong with me lately?
I feel like I can't keep my emotions in check anymore.

Yuu: "I mean, Hikari, you've never asked me out like this before."
Hikari: "...I have been recently."

There it is. He's totally put off.

I'm no better than that junior girl Seki-san who made an over-the-top declaration then crashed and burned.

I don't like being that type of girl.

I'm being so selfish when it comes to him.
Talking to him like I'm his girlfriend or something.

This is textbook getting rejected behavior...

Hikari: "Alright, fine! Forget it...!"
Yuu: "H-Hikari?!"

Ugh, the words were right, but the tone? Totally wrong!
Why am I stumbling over my sentences?
Why do I sound like I'm about to cry?

...Well, obviously, it's because I am about to cry.

Yuu: "Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I'll go! I'll go, alright?!"
Hikari: "...I said it's fine if you don't. Really."
Yuu: "No, don't say that..."
Hikari: "But like... if you're only taking it because you feel obligated, what's the point?"

And now here I am, after finally getting him to say yes, turning around and sabotaging myself.

Wow, Hikari. You're being so annoying right now.
Even I can't defend this behavior...

Yuu: "I'm serious, I was happy you invited me! I really mean it!"
Hikari: "Yeah, but now it just feels like you're scrambling to fix it..."

Pull back! Seriously, just stop already, Hikari!
Don't pout. Don't make it more complicated. Don't get all weirdly girly about it!
Just hand him the ticket and say, Alright, see you then!

Yuu: "Please! I humbly request this platinum ticket of yours! I'd be honored to accept it!"
Hikari: "You seriously get how rare this thing is, right? You do?"
Yuu: "I totally get it! I swear!"

............
............

I'm Shirasaka Hikari, sixteen years old......

......and even I can't justify my behavior today.

Was Hikari too pushy? Yes, and she admits that. But did she force him to go? No. He wanted to go, but there was something holding him back—something he didn’t have the courage to say. And let’s not pretend there weren’t enough chances for Yuu to say something to Hikari that could’ve softened the blow she ended up suffering.

Again, I don’t think it would’ve been too much to say to your childhood friend of ten years—someone you have feelings for—something like: “The thing is, my ex-girlfriend goes to the same school as you, and if we run into her, it could be kind of awkward.”

Hikari wasn’t far off the mark when she called him a coward. I mean, I get it—he has confidence issues, and the whole thing is complicated. But just look at what keeping Hikari in the dark led to.

 

[Mrson]

Again, I don’t think it would’ve been too much to say to your childhood friend of ten years—someone you have feelings for—something like: “The thing is, my ex-girlfriend goes to the same school as you, and if we run into her, it could be kind of awkward.”

Well, let's pretend the author didn't say that to create more drama, and that at this point we're repudiating Yuu so that in Yuu's POV the author tries to justify Yuu's actions and thus blow our minds, I want to think xd

 

[story645]

Hikari has spent five months not confessing.

I mentioned this earlier, but like she spent five months trying to get closer to him by doing things that she found super embarrassing and could have left her humiliated in front of him (the dates, the lunch, etc. As far as the reader knows, the only things he's done so far were an exam he hid from her precisely to not embarrass himself in front of her and a confession only after he was fairly certain that she'd say yes.

If not for Yuu's diabolically-timed confession following his encounter with his ghosted ex-girlfriend, Hikari wouldn't have anything to be legitimately angry about.

Even forgetting the love triangle, she's hurt that her oldest friend is lying to her (and she'll find out has been lying to her for at least a year). Like that's a legit thing to be angry about.


ETA: I feel like I should add the disclaimer that Yuu's actions make total sense for an insecure kid, I also just get why Hikari would be angry given they way she interacts with the world.

 

[wozbond]

Even forgetting the love triangle, she's hurt that her oldest friend is lying to her (and she'll find out has been lying to her for at least a year). Like that's a legit thing to be angry about.

If Hikari isn't being honest about no longer wanting him friend-zoned (very understandable), and he isn't being honest about becoming sexually active (also very understandable), I don't get how Hikari magically gets the moral high ground, or why just ONE of them should be singled out as a coward.
They're BOTH hiding stuff from each other, and they've BOTH contributed to the situation they find themselves in.

 

[story645]

I don't get how Hikari magically gets the moral high ground, or why just ONE of them should be singled out as a coward.

Because Hikari doesn't ever actively hide anything from him - she invites him on dates and to her school event and let's him know it's important and yeah fails at confessing but not cause she's actually trying to hide her feelings. The reader is told that she basically can't hide her feelings - there are instances in the narrative where she thinks her emotions are uncool but she's incapable of tamping then down. Like this climax where she's calling him a coward instead of plastering on a smile.

On the flip side, Yuu actively hides taking the exam so he won't be humiliated if he fails, his whole relationship with Aya (which is a different thing than hiding getting laid), why he doesn't want to go to the festival, and then why he disappeared during the festival.

 

[wozbond]

Like this climax where she's calling him a coward instead of plastering on a smile.

So the person that cannot confess is calling someone else a coward, and you also believe she's NOT hiding anything from him. THAT is what you're going with? Good luck having Yuu suddenly become PSYCHIC.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I think this was the moment Yuu lost his chance with Hikari:

He could have said something like:

"Sorry, I ran into someone and was talking to her. The truth is, the reason I was hesitant to come to your school is because I didn’t want to run into her and make things awkward—she’s my ex-girlfriend."

I don’t think that’s too much to say. He didn’t even need to tell her it was Yami or mention the kiss. But what did he choose to do? Tell a weak lie that Hikari knew was a lie:


I don't know. I don't think it's fixable, and I don't see how Yuu or Yami can fix it. I mean, sure, they can be honest with Hikari now—but what value does that have after they've already been caught? To me, none. That's why I think their friendship is still salvageable, but a romantic relationship is out of the question. I mean, that's what I would expect from good writing.

Tbh- I think people are jumping the gun and overreacting over this just a but- at least when we don't know what else happened in that classroom or seeing things from his POV I mentioned this before, but I can think of multiple reasons he didn't want to tell her (whether he should is a different discussion imo and one I agree with his problem is being so fucking wishy washy and closed off instead of just being open with THE GIRL HE'S BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR TEN GOD DAMN YEARS)

Feels a little premature to me personally to already think he's completely fucked up beyond any repair- like she was pretty close here it seems to just straight up ignoring what happened to be with him but somehow this is something she could never forgive him for or be willing to try and work things out over?

Yeah dude fucked up no denying that and I'm definitely not saying she should be completely fine with him lying about it or anything like that and she has a right to be upset but he's recognized what he did was shitty and a problem and I think that's a positive sign for potential future development

Either he backslide hard or he stops being a self loathing coward and just start being open and honest otherwise he really is completely fucking cooked

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I mentioned this earlier, but like she spent five months trying to get closer to him by doing things that she found super embarrassing and could have left her humiliated in front of him (the dates, the lunch, etc. As far as the reader knows, the only things he's done so far were an exam he hid from her precisely to not embarrass himself in front of her and a confession only after he was fairly certain that she'd say yes.

It does seem to be, now implying though, that she somehow "broke his heart" twice before- if I had to guess she was completely oblivious about his feelings and did things that ended up hurting him even if unintentionally and that would like only cause him to even further spiral into self doubt and fuel his insecurities

Even forgetting the love triangle, she's hurt that her oldest friend is lying to her (and she'll find out has been lying to her for at least a year). Like that's a legit thing to be angry about.

Yep her anger is valid

ETA: I feel like I should add the disclaimer that Yuu's actions make total sense for an insecure kid, I also just get why Hikari would be angry given they way she interacts with the world.

COMPLETELY agree

Can't help but sympathize with him while completely agreeing with Hikari being angry and even Yuu himself knows he was being shitty

 

[wozbond]

It does seem to be, now implying though, that she somehow "broke his heart" twice before- if I had to guess she was completely oblivious about his feelings and did things that ended up hurting him even if unintentionally and that would like only cause him to even further spiral into self doubt and fuel his insecurities

Yep her anger is valid

So Hikari is allowed to be oblivious, repeatedly break his heart and do things that ended up hurting Yuu.
But if he's oblivious, her anger is valid. How is that not a double standard?
Let's say he had told Hikari he was dating Yami. The moment he is asked for details, he is more or less obligated to lie, or tell her it's none of her damn business. Sounds to me like Yuu was damned if he did, and damned if he didn't.
Can't get my head around how confessing is apparently the act of a coward, but her failing to confess is something we're supposed to applaud.

 

[story645]

The moment he is asked for details, he is more or less obligated to lie, or tell her it's none of her damn business.

Folks share important things about their life with their closest friends cause that's what friendship is (hell, Aya gave her friends TMI about their relationship) but also it became her business when he agreed to go to her school festival knowing this could be a problem. It is cowardly to go to a friend's event knowing they could get blindsided by drama and not give them a heads up. He could have very well given the no details "my ex exists" version.

So Hikari is allowed to be oblivious, repeatedly break his heart and do things that ended up hurting Yuu.

At that point in the narrative, Hikari doesn't have feelings for him or know she has feelings for him so she isn't hiding anything. She doesnt know she's hurting him precisely b/c he didn't tell her his feelings. On the other hand, Yuu repeatedly chooses to omit/deflect/lie when Hikari explicitly asks for information - is she your ex (about kohai), why don't you want to go to the festival, where have you been?

Also there's the context here, from Hikari's POV it's been 5 months of her constantly trying to confess and 10 years of ??? from Yuu. Like maybe she'll think he's less of a coward once he talks to her, but he's been avoiding doing so.

 

[story645]

if I had to guess she was completely oblivious about his feelings and did things that ended up hurting him even if unintentionally

We know she did - she tried to set him up w/ other girls. I'm curious if in the flashbacks we see him make overt overtures like inviting Hikari on dates or giving her gifts or the like.

 

[wozbond]

Also there's the context here, from Hikari's POV it's been 5 months of her constantly trying to confess

Five months of constantly trying to confess and FAILING. Trying to pretend that isn't also cowardice is asinine.

 

[story645]

Five months of constantly trying to confess and FAILING. Trying to pretend that isn't also cowardice is asinine.

Eh, what's important here is the effort and resiliance - when she fails, she picks herself up and tries again (ETA: is the character growth arc of like 75%+ of shounens). Yuu has yet to tell her that he's done the same, and all the narrative has shown the reader so far is Yuu hiding his effort from Hikari in case he fails and then running off with Aya when he does and then hiding that too.

 

[Litreara]

Tbh- I think people are jumping the gun and overreacting over this just a but- at least when we don't know what else happened in that classroom or seeing things from his POV I mentioned this before, but I can think of multiple reasons he didn't want to tell her (whether he should is a different discussion imo and one I agree with his problem is being so fucking wishy washy and closed off instead of just being open with THE GIRL HE'S BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR TEN GOD DAMN YEARS)

I just don't see how his reasons for not being honest with Hikari matter. What matters is that he wasn't honest, and we already know the outcome. Sure, seeing his point of view and the struggles he went through might give us a better perspective on Yuu—some will sympathize with him more, others less—but none of that changes what happened. Intent doesn't erase impact.

Feels a little premature to me personally to already think he's completely fucked up beyond any repair- like she was pretty close here it seems to just straight up ignoring what happened to be with him but somehow this is something she could never forgive him for or be willing to try and work things out over?

My reading of the situation is different. Hikari is someone who’s honest and straightforward with her feelings—her emotional side consistently overrides her rational side. Just look at the excerpt from chapter 19 of the novel that I posted: it clearly shows that whenever her emotions and reason clash, emotion always wins.

So I don’t think she was anywhere near ignoring what happened so that she could be with Yuu. What was really happening was that her rational side was trying to suppress how she truly felt. She was trying to be logical, but what she was ignoring was her own emotions. But that’s not who she is. Her emotional side always wins out, and once it did, she couldn’t go on pretending everything was okay.