Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 41 - Everything, Falling Apart

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Wow… just wow. So Yami really saw Hikari standing at the door and still went ahead and kissed Yuu. I’ve always had one of the lowest possible opinions of Yami, and yet I defended her—because that moment at the end of chapter 40 felt more like an after-the-fact narration than a clear admission that she saw Hikari there. And also because I genuinely didn’t think she was someone capable of doing something like that to her “best friend.” But boy, was I wrong... Yami is just an awful human being. And the things she said to Hikari when Hikari gave her a chance to be honest… wow.

If Hikari ever forgives Yami—first, that would be surreal and hard to believe. And second, I’ll be extremely disappointed in Hikari.


Here is an MTL of the novel chapter:
Episode 41: Everything Falls Apart

Late September, Saturday.
A night ruled by rain and darkness,
a night where it feels like everyone is crying.

Haru: “Aya, what should we do?! Hikari’s gone!”
Haru: “She suddenly snapped, dumped her boyfriend, and stormed out of the gym!”
Yami: “It’s okay, I found her. I’ll take her home. You two go on ahead.”

Yami: “I already let Haru know.”
Hikari: “……”

It was just before 8 p.m., after the after-party had ended.

A frantic LINE message from Haru arrived—not in the usual group chat, maybe because she was being considerate, but sent directly to me. I left the classroom to help search for Hikari, about five minutes ago.

And the moment I opened the door,
and saw her standing there, soaking wet—
that’s when I truly realized the weight of what I had done.

Yami: “Here, dry off properly. You’ll catch a cold.”

Hikari didn’t say a word.
With my towel draped over her head, her face was hidden.
But even without seeing her expression,
I could tell exactly what she was thinking.

That this—
all of this was the consequence of what I had done.
That I hadn’t just hurt Yuu…
I had hurt Hikari too.

When Yuu ran out of this classroom in tears,
I suddenly regained my composure—
and was hit with overwhelming regret.

I had done something I absolutely shouldn’t have.
And worse, Hikari had seen it.

What the hell is wrong with me?
Why did I go through with it,
even after I realized Hikari was right there?

No…
Was it because she was there that I went through with it?
If that’s the case, then seriously… what is wrong with me?

Yami: “I’ll call a taxi once you’ve calmed down. Until then, take your time and rest, okay?”

I could tell how forced and hollow my voice sounded.
Because deep down, I knew—this was all just a lie.
I knew how awful this was.

Everything I’m doing… it’s so disgusting.
I betrayed Hikari,
and I know she knows.
I know she knows—
and yet here I am, still trying to act like her friend.

But… if she’s willing to accept how things are now—
if she’ll pretend nothing happened and keep being my friend…

Then I swear, I’ll stop this.
I’ll pretend nothing ever happened,
I’ll never see Yuu again.

Just like before, I’ll support Hikari’s love.
But I won’t interfere. Not at all.

So please… forgive me, Hikari.

Smile like you always do,
and say, “Let’s go home, Aya-chan,”
just like you always do.

Hikari: “Hey, Aya-chan?”
Yami: “Hmm? What is it?”

But the first words Hikari said since coming in were—

Hikari: “…Have you been in this classroom ever since that kiss…?”

Yami: “…Ah—”

With just that,
she gently but firmly crushed the hope
I had clung to so selfishly.

……

……

Yami: “Uh, ah…”
Hikari: “……”

I don’t know how many seconds passed in that heavy silence.
You always hear people say “a few seconds that felt like years”—
yeah, it was exactly like that.

Yami: “Th-that guy… he’s just…”
Hikari: “Yeah…”

But no matter how long we sat in silence,
nothing was going to change for Hikari.
If I wanted her to be her bright, sunny self again,
I had to do something.

Yami: “He’s… just some old hookup of mine.”

Hikari: “—!?”

…And yet, what the hell is wrong with me today?

Yami: “Remember how I used to talk about all the guys I cycled through last year? He was one of them. We ran into each other by chance and I only just remembered his face.”

Confessing that he was a past hookup
in a dark, empty classroom at night…
And the worst part? It’s all lies.

Yami: “I mean, seriously, I don’t like him or anything! Not now, not ever!”

This is all just total, utter nonsense.

Yami: “I’m really sorry! My bad habit from back then just slipped out again…”

Well… I guess that part’s not a lie.
That old, awful habit—
the “lying bitch” part of me—is definitely rearing its head again.

Yami: “…So please, forgive me, Hikari.”

Even so…
this is all I’ve got left to lean on now.

Because there’s no going back to Yuu.
But with Hikari…
maybe I still have a chance.

If that’s the case,
then why the hell did I do something like that…?

……

……

Hikari: “Hey, Aya-chan.”
Yami: “H-Hikari…?”

After what felt like several years’ worth of silence packed into just a few seconds,
Hikari finally spoke.

Hikari: “I know you're not that kind of person, Aya-chan.”
Yami: “No, that’s not—”
Hikari: “Even before we met, I know you were always a kind girl.”
Yami: “That’s not true…”

Her words sounded so gentle and sincere—
but in reality, Hikari was carefully closing off every possible escape route I had.

Hikari: “So you don’t have to act so guilty. You could just own it… So why are you apologizing so much?”
Yami: “Because… because I messed around with your boyfriend…”
Hikari: “Don’t talk about Ta-kun like that. Don’t make him sound like a joke.”
Yami: “…”

No, this wasn’t gentle anymore.

Hikari: “A guy doesn’t go that far with a girl unless there are real feelings involved.”

Her tone was calm.
Her face still downcast, hidden beneath her hair.

Hikari: “So that means there were real feelings involved… between you and Ta-kun.”
Yami: “There weren’t any!”

And just like that—
I nearly blurted out the wrong answer to a trap question.

Yami: “There weren’t, I’m telling you…”

I almost raised my voice, but held it in, barely.

Yami: “It was just… just fooling around, that’s all…”

What Hikari was trying to confirm,
what she was trying to ask me—
there was no way I could be honest about it.

Hikari: “Why lie…? No… I get it. I know why you’re lying, Aya-chan.”

Even if Hikari already knew.
Even if she saw through everything from the start…

Hikari: “You’re lying for my sake, right? So I don’t get hurt… you’re covering up what really happened between you and him.”
Yami: “I’m not covering anything… He’s nothing special. Just a lame guy, that’s all.”

Even so—
I had no choice but to keep lying.

Yami: “I mean, come on… the only reason you fell for him in the first place was because he got better in bed after sleeping with me, right?”
Hikari: “Wh—?!”

Even if it meant demeaning
the first boy she ever truly loved,
the one she gave her whole heart and body to.

Even if shame and disgust
shook me to my very core…

Yami: “If he’d stayed the clueless virgin he was, you never would’ve even looked his way. He would’ve stayed just some loser.”

But still… I was wrong.
Everything I did—was a mistake.

Yami: “You should be thanking me, honestly…”
Hikari: “Don’t talk down about my childhood friend like that!”

Hikari’s face in front of me was a mess—
rage, sorrow, and confusion swirling together chaotically.

Hikari: “Just stop already… Stop lying like that. Stop hurting yourself, too…”

This might be it.
I might really lose her.
I might be alone again.

Hikari: “The truth is… you still haven’t gotten over Ta-kun, have you?”

What is she even talking about…?
I don’t care about Ta-kun.
The one I care about—the one I know—is Yuu.
Get it right.

No. Wait. Don’t snap at her, damn it.

This is Hikari.
She’s the one who saved me.
She’s my best friend… someone I love so much.

So please, let’s stop this.

I’ll do anything. I’ll beg on my knees, fake-cry if I have to—
I’ll erase everything that happened.
Because I don’t want to lose Hikari too…

Hikari: “You love him, don’t you…?!”
Yami: “If you’re scared of losing him, just tie him down with your body! You idiooooooot!!”


Author’s post on X:

i0Gftnu.png

41話更新しました。第3部終了です。最初の企画書の段階でここまでの話はできていました。逆にここからの話は1ミリも考えてません! さあここからは誰もが傷つ…誰もが幸せになる未来を一緒に模索しましょう! #さらなみ

Episode 41 has been updated. This marks the end of Part 3. Everything up to this point had already been planned out from the initial project proposal. On the other hand, I haven’t thought even a millimeter beyond this! Now then, from here on out, let’s all explore together a future where everyone gets hu— I mean, where everyone ends up happy! #Saranami

Also, there was a post on the manga’s official X account announcing a hiatus:

S5RoC8L.png

単行本作業&夏コミ作業&第四部準備のため、しばらく漫画の更新をお休みさせていただきます。
この期間は、丸戸史明による書き下ろし番外編ノベルをX及びnoteにて連載します。
商業単行本も同人誌も連載もがんばって制作しておりますので、今後ともよろしくお願いします!
#さらなみ

Due to work on the collected volume, Summer Comiket preparations, and planning for Part 4, the manga updates will be on hold for a while.
During this period, a brand-new side story novel written by Fumiaki Maruto will be serialized on X and note.
We're working hard on the commercial volume, the doujinshi, and the ongoing series, so we appreciate your continued support!
#Saranami


Thanks for the chapter!
 
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I'm so glad that Hikari is smart enough to figure out why Yuu was doing what he was doing and why Yami was doing what she was doing.

I wish the manga chapter included the part from the novelization where Yami admits she knew Hikari was standing at the door and that's why she kissed Yuu. I, too, was trying to defend at least some of Yami's previous actions but I can't defend that.
 
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I swear Maruto sensei just wants to make another White Album 2. Like Yami has some aspects of Kazusa and Setsuna if memory serves me well. Honestly Yami's logic is so asinine that I can't help but laugh in disbelief. She's afraid to lose Hikari but everything she's doing is pushing her away & that's her self destructive behavior at its finest. Also Yuu has always liked Hikari & was down in the dumps when he met Yami then hooked up like any teenager would do. Thanks for the translations.

Edit: Also I appreciate Hikari confronting her & not backing down.
 
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Aggregator gang
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Here comes chaotic comments in 3....2.....1









But for real tho, Yuu is kinda innocent in this matter, literally a victim of circumtances.
I still don't understand why people kept blindly siding with Hikari as if she's the only main protagonist here, both She and Aya are equals.
That's the thing with this manga, nobody is doing things deliberately wrong, and while they maybe could have done things better, they are all more or less victims of their own circumstances
 
Double-page supporter
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Here comes chaotic comments in 3....2.....1









But for real tho, Yuu is kinda innocent in this matter, literally a victim of circumtances.
I still don't understand why people kept blindly siding with Hikari as if she's the only main protagonist here, both She and Aya are equals.
Yuu is innocent if you ignore all his lying.
 
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I gotta give Hikari a lot of credit here. She's trying to preserve everyone's dignity and let everyone have some way out despite having every right to be angry at every party here. And Yami just keeps digging her grave.

Yami, seriously? You are telling me now, NOW OF ALL TIMES, that you value the one sided friendship (Hikari-> Yami)?

Hikari needs to just cut ties with everyone involved and just start again.
 

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