It Is My First Love - Vol. 1 Ch. 31

[Leonhart93]

@BZo1480 Imagine this: you ask someone for directions on the street and because of that they get hit by a car 1 minute later and die instantly. You are not even aware of it, you just carry on with your life. If you didn't held them to ask for directions, the car would have missed them.
Does this mean it's your fault that they are dead now? No. It would have been your fault if either you drove the car that hit them or you intended for it to happen by talking to them.
Since the events we are part of are so complicated, guilt is something that only makes sense if the actions are direct or premeditated.
He didn't wanted for any of this to happen AND he didn't give the letter to Jinsoo. Therefore his guilt for this should be minimal at best.... 🤔

 

[Ai9964]

She cannot even see a beam in front of her and she wants to go home alone lol.

 

[Oylesine]

@Leonhart93 better imagine this: you prank someone on the streets, they have an old trauma about this prank, which you don't know. Because of the prank, they get extremely frightened and fall in the middle of the road. They get hit by the car driving above the speed limit and die instantly. Did you intent this to happen? No. Did you kill them? No. Did you cause them to be killed? Yes. You cause the situation to happen. Pranking someone is extremely unnecessary and not something as innocent and practical thing as asking someone for directions. You didn't intend to kill them but your recklessness and sense of entertainment caused someone to be killed. Obviously in this situation, the killer is the driver but you are clearly a contributer, shouldn't you really feel guilty?

From the viewpoint of FL, ML was keeping her private possession without her consent, only for his entertainment. And even could not keep it safe and caused others to find it. ML didn't aware of the Fl's trauma but it is not necessary to be known. Think of Fl's anxiety for the whole time he keeps the letter, fear of whether or not other person keep the content of the letter secret. And the other thing is being responsible for nasty friends. Think this situation, if i borrow something valuable and keep it in my house. Then i host some of my friends ,who have some bad habits, at my home and then they stole it. I have to pay for the borrowed stuff because i am responsible for it and i couldn't keep it safe. I can't say the owner "go and take the money from one who stole it" cause it was my responsibility to keep it safe.

Traumas have overly very negative effects on some peoples life and not everyone is strong enough to overcome them. I think we shouldn't underestimate her trauma and get blinded by his love. But it is apparent for me that he should feel guilty for the situation 'cos he is obviously a contributor.

I hope my writing is clear and understandable, English is not my main language and I haven't written something in English for a very long time.

 

[Lucrecia]

@Leonhart93

In this case, the example is not very fitting, because it refers to a random factor. Talking to a person holding him for a minute longer than necessary and his death are not two directly related causes (the victim could have delayed for any other reason, the car could not have been there, there are a myriad of factors triggering the current tragedy).

In this case, however, MoonYoung was in possession of a confidential information of EuJung (I don’t remember her name) and neglecting the fact that he was using this data to blackmail her, he failed to securely store this data allowing others to appropriate it.

The most fitting example is that of a couple who loves on the phone, she sends him spicy photos (or worse, he takes the photos and then uses them to force her to go out with him again) and then – for carelessness, superficiality or bad intentions – makes the photos public: it doesn’t even need him to do it himself, however those pictures started from his phone. And the woman’s life is almost ruined. That he didn’t want to do it and that he was actually in love with the protagonist we know readers.
But by law, what he did is called pre-intentional guilt, and it’s a felony. If the MC had decided to sue him, she would have won it quietly.

@Oylesine explained the concept much better than I did, lol

 

[Oylesine]

@Lucrecia no no, definitely your explanation, especially your example is better

 

[Leonhart93]

@Lucrecia @Oylesine Actually, that example is wrong because if we are to make it analogue to their situation it would be that he had the nude pics on his phone and didn't delete them, then someone else finds them and make them public. The difference is massive.
This is important because he didn't give the letter to Jinsoo by mistake, like your analogy suggests. Someone purposefully stole from him in order to do that.

So yeah, I know it must be pretty hard but please try to keep your bias to a minimum 😐. In my example, I tried to put a situation where there was no intention to cause harm, and the harm was not accidental by the person in cause. The harm was done by a totally different party and in this case it was even malicious.

If he were to be in the wrong, I would say he is in the wrong, since I don't condone to stuff like this either. But although the events were put in motion due to his involvement on the matter, he is not at fault for the actions of those involved. And I think that blaiming him even further is not only pointless, but also counter-productive. Others are to blame for this, much more than even Jinsoo. He on the other hand is a good person, certainly he doesn't deserve more than this.

 

[Lucrecia]

@Leonhart93

In front of the law it doesn't matter what he had; whether it was nude photos or Eunjae's grandmother's lasagna recipe (or the Korean equivalent of lasagna), what he did is always misappropriation of personal data and violation of privacy.

And if you, the person who owns my data (whether I gave it to you voluntarily or, as in this case, whether you took it by force and then used it to blackmail me) lose or allow it to be stolen, you are just as guilty as the thief himself. Of course, the thief is more the fellon but in the law unfortunately it doesn't work that "but he did this, he's worse than me" and if I had to do it again on someone, I’d do it again first on YOU, then you can do it again on the thief.

Unfortunately, I’m afraid you’re the one who’s biased because the Moonyoung is beautiful, charismatic and it’s the ML. He did not want to cause the crime, but it is because of him that this happened – if he had not kept with him Eunjae’s letter addressed to another person all this would never have happened – and this is called a pre-intentional crime.

If it were drawn ugly, fat and old, I don’t think there’d be anyone who would waste a comma to defend it.

 

[Lucrecia]

There's a reason why data management companies spend millions of dollars on protecting and securing the data they hold. They don't do it because they are kind and caring with their customers, but only because if by chance their systems are hacked and stolen they would find themselves paying certain fines that will make you don't want to live anymore just looking at the zeroes behind the figure.

Just think of the scandal of data stolen from Sony or Facebook...

Of course, a young girl's letter is certainly not at these levels, but the crime is exactly the same.

 

[Leonhart93]

@Lucrecia You are wrong by saying that if he were not beautiful no one would defend him. As a matter of fact I don't care one bit how he looks because I am a guy. Exactly that's why I am more impartial here, since normally I would not take his side given equal conditions.

But that's just you diverting the argument, right? Why not continue by giving me an even better analogy? 😏
Either way, you completely turned your initial argument around by involving the "law" word, instead of subjective guilt. The law won't care if it's not at least first-grade indirect involvement in something premeditated, which is absolutely not in his case. And it is a high-schooler's love letter we are talking about, what law do you think it will be involved? 😅
And remember that in your example she was the one that gave him the pics, and in a direct analogy he didn't misuse those, they were stolen.

Same case here as well. She found it convenient at the time for him to get the letter since it covered for her mistaken confession, just like when she would give him the nude pics in that analogy. His mistake was keeping the letter afterwards, but his involvement ends at just keeping the letter.

Since you also mentioned the law, what do you suppose she should do to those that actually stole the letter and wronged her? Jail them? Because if she is not willing to do at least that much, then holding any more grudges against him is just venting on him who has a much much lower equivalent guilt 🤨

 

[Lucrecia]

@Leonhart93

Obviously I can't make myself understood. It's probably because English isn't my first language.

I can't give you a better analogy because there are no better ones. He blackmailed her and his behavior caused her letter to be read by everyone, and that was it.

So:
1. Eunjae put a direct letter to Gunwook in the RIGHT locker, then decided to take it back. Meanwhile, the club's people arrived and she hid in Moonyoung's locker.

2. Moonyoung waited for everyone to leave, then let her out and steal the letter from her hands to read it (cap. 9) and already here we are on the crime. She didn’t put it in his locker or give him the letter. He took it from her hands, opened it, and read it in the face of the privacy law.

3. He started using the letter to harass her. Despite Eunjae’s repeated request for the letter to be returned to her, he did not do so and used it as a pretext to force her to go out with him (in real life, such behaviour as well as a crime would also be creepy). Sure, then Moonyoung said he’d keep it a secret. But why would Eunjae believe him? What has the ML ever done to earn MC’s trust? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

4. The day he left for the training camp, with the house full of strangers, he looked for the letter in the drawer and then left it in plain sight on the bedside table (cap. 30). With the house full of people. A pink letter with little hearts on it, typically from a love confession. He could have written "read me and make me known to the world" on it, since the effect of such a letter on the gossipy and nosy soul of a bunch of teenagers is the same. Who took the letter? We don't know. It doesn't even matter at this juncture, the fact is that Moonyoung allowed it to happen by behaving stupidly and leaving something unattended that didn't belong to him and that he knew very well could harm the owner if it became public knowledge.
As already mentioned, if you have data of a third person and these data are stolen from you, the culprit is still you because you have not adequately protected the data. Theft is another crime and is followed by another legislative process, but for data security it is you who owns it.

5. He left Eunjae to unravel with an entire class who boycotted her and cornered her. Of course, it is little compared to the serious problems of the world, maybe it is not worth bothering justice for this reason (actually no, there are those who have sued and won the case for much less in this world? jail? Of course not, it's a civil offense. Fines like there's no tomorrow...) but it's a small thing for us. For me, grown woman.
For a 15-year-old girl with only two friends in the world, knowing that she betrayed the first and that the second betrayed her is worse than the war in the Middle East or the pandemic flu.

I mean, come on. Even Moonyoung says he feels guilty for not keeping the letter carefully (Cap. 26) and that he behaved like an assh*le by keeping the letter which was not intended for him. I don't understand why you want to keep defending him when the character himself knows he's done something wrong. He apologized... so what?
Apologies, especially for events that have led to trauma for the victim, are only for those who do them, to wash their conscience. Those who receive them do very little with them, since the trauma had to be dealt with by now. What should Eunjae do now?

“Ah, for the last ten years I’ve felt like sh*t, but I finally managed to put my life back together and good or bad, I’m happy with my family and my job. Not serene because I still have a teenage trauma trail, but happy.
But you’re back in front of me. You, who for ten years I’ve considered to be the cause of my pain.
And now just because you apologized I should cancel ten years of my life and pretend that everything is as it was before and that we are friends again, and in your hopes also lovers?

Yeah, sure, that's how it works. 😐"

(Unfortunately, the great love will triumph and blablablabla, like bullsh*t. Because it’s only in stories that first love triumphs... in real life I don’t remember the face of my first love. In real love life, the only thing that really matters is the last. )

 

[Leonhart93]

@Lucrecia What you forgot to mention is that he covered for her when she got found out by Gunwook who was the target of the letter. At the time, she went along with his lie since it was convenient for her, so there is that.
And before you say she didn't have a choice there, the same thing happened in the classroom when she couldn't get a word out about that letter, so I guess she went along with it there as well...

I mean, come on. Even Moonyoung says he feels guilty for not keeping the letter carefully (Cap. 26) and that he behaved like an assh*le by keeping the letter which was not intended for him. I don't understand why you want to keep defending him when the character himself knows he's done something wrong. He apologized... so what?

Yes, so what more exactly do you want him to do? Beg her for mercy? He clearly is guilt-tripped and gas-lit as f*ck by the whole thing. He already did 120% more that he needed to do for this.
His only fault was that he kept the letter and he apologized for it a lot more than his part in what transpired actually was.
Her traumas are her problems not his AND caused by others in the first place. He doesn't owe her 🤨
In this case what would you want the others to do? Slit their throats in front of her? 😂

I will agree that he needs to do nothing more than this. Honestly apologize, get out. And then if she wants something more or not it's up to her, but honestly she is quite incapable to deal with average issues and gets traumatized by everything it seems. When you choose a partner, you would normally want someone that is capable of facing the hardships of life, and life can be quite brutal. And by that I don't mean her little high-school squabbles.
I will see how this goes from now on, but she has her share of checkboxes to tick in order to get a good ending from this.

 

[Oylesine]

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[BZo1480]

@Leonhart93 Others have already brought it up, but that's an awful, awful example.

 

[practicallyuseful]

@Lucrecia
@Leonhart93
Y'all this is a highschool misunderstanding we're talking about.😂
If I were to list out the questionable things someone did to me in HIGHSCHOOL I could write a book or two.
It's not that deep and I moved on well.

 

[Leonhart93]

@practicallyuseful Well, my intention was going on the same kind of parallel. So many similar things happened to me in high-school as well and I don't think there is a single one I wouldn't forgive, even the malicious ones. Well, maybe unless they are still the same now many years later.
Since I know how immature we all were at that age. And more so in his case, since it was totally non-malicious.

 

[practicallyuseful]

@Leonhart93
I heartily agree.
Teenagers are just douchebags in general. I run into old high school classmates all the time. Some were total jerks to me.
But I'm always willing to start anew, and get to know them for who they are now.

 

[Daintyduchess]

Omg!! I’m so glad I finally read this! I didn’t know I was missing out! I hope they make up soon. Thank you for uploading! 😊

 

[crimony]

well i'm glad that was cleared up in 30 chapters. for a webtoon, that's pretty early.

 

[otaesakata]

Why? Why do these female leads not have self-respect or pride? He said sorry so it's okay? He said othing was his fault, so its okay? Girl, please, work on your self-esteem and self-worth.

You asked him to leave you alone and to live as co-workes and he literally turned your words against you to push his desires and wants on to you. How are you okay with someon literally trampling over everything you ask or say?