I have a question regarding page 8 (6 if we're not counting the credit pages):
"You should already know the threat that represents Majin!"
Would it not be better rendered as:
"You should already know the threat that the Majin represents!"
Or perhaps the original Japanese is structured strangely as well? (Questions of plot arise...)
At any rate, it is only a minor nitpick, and you have done well with your translation. Thanks!