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that's mafia kajita
Love is Still Too Early for Himeno-chan - Vol. 3 Ch. 24
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Fed-Kun's army
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i want to become an adult like the guy with the sunglasses when i'll become one
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@sergitoto As others noted, there's a lot that reads unnatural to native English speakers. Just some things I noticed:
Page 3: "You are carrying it?" -> "You were carrying it?" Tsubasa was carrying it before entering, so this should be past tense.
Page 4: "Certainly I can also participate." sounds really weird. This should probably be "Can I participate, too?"
Page 4: "Even when you're an adult." should be "Even though you're an adult."
Page 5: "You are so kind Himeno-chan" -> "You're so kind Himeno-chan" Native speakers would use the contraction.
Page 5: "I also wonder what can I buy him~" -> "I also wonder what I can buy him~"
Page 7: "Both looks the same to me" -> "Both look the same to me"
Page 9: "Are you always carrying that with you...?" -> "Do you always carry that with you...?"
Page 13: "Wah there is a lot of people here!" -> Wah, there's a lot of Devi-Erasers here!" He's referring to all the erasers she got from the gacha, and a native speaker would use a contraction for "there is." Also proper grammar has a comma after the Wah.
None of this is really major, expect the "lot of people" one (it's confusing), but these will improve the reading flow. I hope it's helpful, I love this series and I really appreciate your translating it!
Page 3: "You are carrying it?" -> "You were carrying it?" Tsubasa was carrying it before entering, so this should be past tense.
Page 4: "Certainly I can also participate." sounds really weird. This should probably be "Can I participate, too?"
Page 4: "Even when you're an adult." should be "Even though you're an adult."
Page 5: "You are so kind Himeno-chan" -> "You're so kind Himeno-chan" Native speakers would use the contraction.
Page 5: "I also wonder what can I buy him~" -> "I also wonder what I can buy him~"
Page 7: "Both looks the same to me" -> "Both look the same to me"
Page 9: "Are you always carrying that with you...?" -> "Do you always carry that with you...?"
Page 13: "Wah there is a lot of people here!" -> Wah, there's a lot of Devi-Erasers here!" He's referring to all the erasers she got from the gacha, and a native speaker would use a contraction for "there is." Also proper grammar has a comma after the Wah.
None of this is really major, expect the "lot of people" one (it's confusing), but these will improve the reading flow. I hope it's helpful, I love this series and I really appreciate your translating it!
Fed-Kun's army
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Oh no! Himeko has succumb to the Way of the Gacha! There is no more turning back once you take this path!
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