Most creative PG insults

[Teddy]

Swearing is boring and unimaginative especially when you only prefix it with a "Dumb".

What are the most creative insults you can make?

Eg.

When people call you a cutie pie; they meant you have less than 90 IQ and flakier skin than pastry.

You're so cowardly, you'd hide behind a fainting goat

You're so blind, you'd sell health insurance to mannequins

 

[pandascepter]

You action is beyond my imagination, that even i, as a human can't comperhend what did you just do, and only god will understand you, so you better meet your god asap.

 

[justforthelulz]

Keeping it PG, huh?

You're such a loser that even childhood friends pity you.

 

[immortalartisan]

Your concept of fear is so warped you call teletubies a horror show and the people around you living monsters. The buildings huge hives filled to the brim with insects crawling out and devouring all that is flesh including each other. The gods which you worship cruel, sick and twisted old ones, even HP Lovecraft would call you a coward



I’m sorry I just was imagining a more rotten and meaty world for a bit

 

[pandascepter]

@justforthelulz
wheezzeee

As your friend i feel dissapointed.

 

[Ufi]

I aint usin none of these

How about "shut your mouth, chair sitter"? I find that more insulting than whatever paragraphs these foolz be writing

 

[immortalartisan]

@ufi we had a messaging board at school and I will not kid you there was a word requirement for insults so I’ve gotten pretty good at writing these kind of insults. Also I find you a insult not that much different from swearing at some one

 

[hazzack]

that's the same level as "go write your insult somewhere else, insult writer"

 

[MawMaw]

Its alright to like [insert something trash], some people born with shit taste.

 

[AK140]

Thou madest me so mad, I had to revive the old second-person personal pronouns just to thou thee. How feelest thou being theed? Thine ears will never hear the end of me calling thy new name, thou thee!

 

[comeonnow]

You're so boring, you cured my insomnia.

 

[solstice258]

"You look so ugly when you're laughing that it makes me wanna remove all the comedy from earth."

Idk, I just heard somewhere that insulting someone's laugh can be pretty heartbreaking

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

"You stink!"

 

[Teddy]

You are a medical marvel of living without a neocortex

I've know deaf people with a better singing voice than you

You're on the opposite end of the bell curve than you think.

You're such a scaredy cat, you couldn't walk pass the dog food aisle

 

[Halo]

👆 POOP 👇​

 

[pandascepter]

@bigtoddyoneesan
"you stink! go take a bath!"

 

[blackyawgdom]

Nobodys quoted the Insulting Frenchman? Fine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSo0duY7-9s

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Which implies the mother was used more then the barstool and the father drank the tavern dry. Causing his bar tab to be paid by use of his wife.

 

[Crazyperson117]

If we're quoting live-action stuff, just take a list of every Dr. Cox rant on scrubs. There's plenty on youtube.
Infact, I found a youtube channel that covers 3/8 of Scrub's seasons.
Funnily enough, there is a scene in Scrubs that mentions a list of every Dr. Cox rant was made and it was a rather large book (video).

 

[SveNo]

I am unable to rightly comprehend the thought process behind such a statement, if there indeed is one.

 

[immortalartisan]

When I tried to sell your info on the dark web I had to pay someone to take it