Musume no Tomodachi - Vol. 5 Ch. 44 - Cat

[Airwave2k2]

Why do so many trash the dad. Sure he ain't around because of work. But doesn't it in the context of eastern society show that he is the workhorse guy who brings in the income. So it is just "normal". If he was shit he would be the freedom seeker dreamy dad lazing around on the couch all day and complain about society. But instead, despite he has the attitude of someone that just wanna get out of the confinement and spread his wings/be free like a cat, he has taken the responsibility to provide for the family (since it isn't clear what he does for a living, if it isn't a salary job, he might even be an entrepreneur, fitting his attitude of independence, but also has him bound to be available 24/7 for his business).

Now with that in mind taking his time to bury the cat with his daughter, does in no way look like that he isn't attentive for his daughter, when it matters. It is just that he doesn't care any longer for the wife he married. This marriage was a sinking ship at the point when mom complaint about him being at work all time, and he responded with a line like: "Either you wan't me to be the successful business man you can brag about to your friends or I'm here giving you all the attention you seek, (spoken without making a making a peep: miss control freak). What will it be?" And down the spiral the marriage of annoyance and outright hostility has gone.

 

[doneprone]

So she was saying she was like a fish because she had been trying to please her mother for a long time and the final pages are her realizing that she can't be a the "fish" her mother finds beautiful. Koto accepts that she is probably more averse to order and etiquette or rules seen when she eats the strawberry without the thoughts her mother has or how she causally lets the stray kitty share her ice cream.

This just makes it more apparent that the reason the author made Kosuke a father and the father to a classmate as her love interest was to further show how Koto isn't one to have ever cared for following societal norms and just does her own thing at her own pace.

 

[Echonic]

@Tamerlane

Why is she interested in the main character though? some sort of rebellious act? or did she really fall in love with him?

Also what i've seen from how parents are in Japan, it's pretty fucking bad. Where they 'love' their children more the higher grades they get. It's no wonder academic pressure is so high that tons of people commit suicide because of it.

 

[starch12313]

@Macarena

Also, I am beyond tired to read people really thinking that Kousuke has it bad JUST because of the daughter (he has it bad because of his job first, the death of his wife second and Miya third), Miya is not helping, sure, but Kousuke also isn't the exemplary dad people are making him out to be either. Even if Miya had forgiven him, you really think his life would have been fixed? He still has his shit work to deal with.

Miya is the breaking point and thats why her actions should be viewed as holding more weight. Now how is she the breaking point? Its simple. She holds the last major and emotional comfort that the father has, and the reason why is because she is his daughter. Its a familial bond. So when she isnt emotionally there for him that pushes him into a deep emotional depression.

Had she been there for him yes his life would have been fixed. The fault in your argument is assuming that his "work" needs to be fixed when it doesnt. His work was fine, he was able to manage it. Its only after his wifes death that the added stress becomes an issue. But once hes able to find comfort in his daughter the added stress would be lifted. He doesnt have to like work, because prior to his wifes death it wasnt an issue. What he has to move on from is wifes death and find comfort in his new life with his daughter. This brings things back to normal and that should be the goal.

When you have a family member that dies whose the people that pick you back up? Your other family members. But if they arent there who else is gonna do it?

So had the daughter been that emotional comfort for her dad, he would objectively not be in such an emotional state, and would be "fixed".

Also we have more evidence in support of the dad being a good dad so yeah.

 

[Rickuo_]

It's a huge problem that family courts are so biased in favor of mothers. Just because someone has a specific gender doesn't mean that he/she is automatically better for the child's well being. In case of a divorce, a child should be primarily taken care of by the parent with the better personality. In Koto's case this might be her father. He isn't the best father figure either, but at least he doesn't seem to be cruel and over-controlling.

But I don't think it's outright cruelty and selfishness that are the problems here. The main problem is the inability of individuals to cope with certain aspects of their lives. This causes them pain and eventually they must let go of this pain. In moments of great weakness they become irritated and lash out, even against their own children. In other word: *we live in a society*.

@Tamerlane
Thank you for explaining the symbolism depicted in this chapter.

@Starch12313
I agree, except that it isn't clear that Kousuke coped much better with his work before the death of his wife.

 

[nickandnacks]

Parents are confusing. 🤦‍♂️

 

[starch12313]

@Rickuo_

Whether its clear or not I think is irrelevant as you can make educated assumptions. We're shown that he cares deeply for his daughter so im gonna assume that he greatly values family. What I cannot say is to what extent it impacted his work. If I am to assume such, I would say that his productivity at work didnt change but his emotional well being did.

 

[TheManWithPants]

The father is like a cat and seeks freedom, while the mother is like a fish in an aquarium tank and seeks security. ...Does that make Koto a catfish? :v

 

[Macarena]

@starch12313

Although I get your point and I do agree that Miya holds more weight than Kousuke's work, I also thinks this is only true after he realizes there is a very real chance of losing Miya. If his daughter had really been his main worry, I would like to think that his relationship with Koto would have been waaaay different. That's not to say that he didn't worry, because we know he did, but he valued more his own feelings at the time (which is also fine, just bad for his own daughter). Also, if Miya had really so much meaning to him, then after she ran away he would have really pushed Koto away, and well, now they are sharing a bed lol. Again, I do believe he cares for his daughter, it's just, he's in love and pities Koto and Miya is already back at the house and kind of doing her own thing so he thinks it's fine?

I still believe that work was and is a major point in the story, not only is he undermined at work by people with a lower standing than him, he's also undermined by his boss. Was he able to manage? Yes, but he also kind of hated everything there and how they treated him.

As to who picks you up after a family member dies. You are right and wrong, because yes, Miya had the potential to lift him up, but her mother's death also affected her. I also believe that after Kousuke did affect his daughter enough to make her get out of her room and by the time Miya was kind of trying to make it up to him the Koto fiasco blew up and well, we know how that went.

In a happier story, Miya and Kousuke's relationship would have been the plot, but this is not a happy story and so we have a dad having an affair with his daughter's classmate. And again, let's say Miya had forgiven his dad for lying to her and having an affair with her allegedly best friend (which for me would have made no sense, unless Kousuke would have been upfront with Miya from the beginning), we would still have to deal with Koto's issues and Kousuke's relationship with a minor, so I still think he would have it real bad lol.

As for the dad being good. I would say debatable but to each their own, you know. I'm not saying that Kousuke is a bad dad, but he's also not a good one. The same can be said about Miya and Koto and even Koto's parents. Each dealing with their own issues in the way they think it's best. I'm still pissed at people thinking that Kousuke is a paragon of virtue, but that doesn't mean I can't see wrong in the others.

TL;DR No one in this manga is good 100% And Miya is really not the magic fix to Kousuke's troubles. Also, the manga's main focus is Kousuke having a relationship with an underaged girl who also happened to be his daughter's best friend, things are messy lol

 

[newniez]

You know, sometimes i'm glad this comment doesnt ends up like 'i shaved' but some people relly does pushing their own agenda. Well are opinions accepted tho

 

[elefantine97]

with a mom like that i'm surprised she hasn't killed anyone yet
seducing an older man is the least of her problems
notice how the mom said cats deserve death and then went on to compare her own daughter to a cat?
yeah, neither did i
get the fuck outta there or get the mom a psychiatrist and get the daughter a therapist, goddamn

 

[starch12313]

@Macarena

Although I get your point and I do agree that Miya holds more weight than Kousuke's work, I also thinks this is only true after he realizes there is a very real chance of losing Miya. If his daughter had really been his main worry, I would like to think that his relationship with Koto would have been waaaay different. That's not to say that he didn't worry, because we know he did, but he valued more his own feelings at the time (which is also fine, just bad for his own daughter). Also, if Miya had really so much meaning to him, then after she ran away he would have really pushed Koto away, and well, now they are sharing a bed lol. Again, I do believe he cares for his daughter, it's just, he's in love and pities Koto and Miya is already back at the house and kind of doing her own thing so he thinks it's fine?

Whether Miya holds more weight or not is irrelevant, lol whats relevant is that she was the breaking point. Now we can discuss whether he values family or work more but thats a whole other conversation. When you say that Miya "should" have been the main worry what do you mean, or do you even understand what you're alluding to? This isnt a one way street scenario. Kousuke alone should not be the only worrying, they should be worrying about each other and comforting each other .We're shown early on in the manga that Miya avoids contact with her father, so any attempt at reconciling with her is relatively null. So assuming that all Kousuke had to was to worry more is really naive. As for what he values, value to what? His work? Koto? He HAS to value work after all hes paying the bills. Hes in bed with Koto BECAUSE of Miya.

https://mangadex.org/chapter/940819/comments

This link provides an in depth explanation of the relationship between Kousuke and Koto. As for why I am giving you this link its simple. You are mentioning Kota and the actions of Kousuke with her. I cannot refute those statement without writing another five paragraphs so heres the link lol.

I still believe that work was and is a major point in the story, not only is he undermined at work by people with a lower standing than him, he's also undermined by his boss. Was he able to manage? Yes, but he also kind of hated everything there and how they treated him.

It was never a point until after her wife died. We know given the Japanese work culture how hectic it is, but we're never shown that he broke down solely before it. What we do know is that he starts breaking down after the death of his wife and the events after it. Is it a major problem now? Yes but it was not prior.

As to who picks you up after a family member dies. You are right and wrong, because yes, Miya had the potential to lift him up, but her mother's death also affected her. I also believe that after Kousuke did affect his daughter enough to make her get out of her room and by the time Miya was kind of trying to make it up to him the Koto fiasco blew up and well, we know how that went.

There is no no lol. They're both suppose to pick each other up. Given your statement, Kousuke shouldn't have attempted to help Miya because he was also affected.

In a happier story, Miya and Kousuke's relationship would have been the plot, but this is not a happy story and so we have a dad having an affair with his daughter's classmate. And again, let's say Miya had forgiven his dad for lying to her and having an affair with her allegedly best friend (which for me would have made no sense, unless Kousuke would have been upfront with Miya from the beginning), we would still have to deal with Koto's issues and Kousuke's relationship with a minor, so I still think he would have it real bad lol.

First off hes not having an affair his wife is dead. I really hope you read the link as it fixes up the assumed notions that people have about the relationship between Kousuke and Kota.

As for the dad being good. I would say debatable but to each their own, you know. I'm not saying that Kousuke is a bad dad, but he's also not a good one. The same can be said about Miya and Koto and even Koto's parents. Each dealing with their own issues in the way they think it's best. I'm still pissed at people thinking that Kousuke is a paragon of virtue, but that doesn't mean I can't see wrong in the others.

Whats bad about him? I can say a few negative qualities about him but in all I think hes a good dad.

 

[orochijes]

They need to do way instain mother.

 

[Ryomi]

Y'know, at first i thought her father was a piece of shit, but now i can see he is kinda of a nice man, he just was unlucky enough to marry that bitch.

 

[Pen3]

@Echonic never heard of parents not loving their kid/s more when they get good grades or acomplish something.

 

[kleiner]

@Kalamel

To be honest, i didn't remember Koto's father would come back home from time to time. And that doesn't make things better, really.

In the 21 and 28 mentioned chapters, we won't really see a big reason for him getting out of home. I mean, he's clearly annoyed by wife and daughter but both women really didn't do anything bad, wrong or distasteful enough to justify his behaviour. Abandoning her teenage daughter just because he feels "caged" or "suffocated" only turns him into a piece of trash... (It's kind of a contrast with MC's behaviour with his daughter, the truly annoying character, who does nothing to help at home besides complain)...

Since he apparently already has a known regular lover, coming back home to do nothing useful, besides paying the bills, is just awful. My hate is not for him rejecting the wife, it's for actively rejecting as well her own daughter, who has zero guilty of anything.

Sorry if I made any grammar mistake, non-native speaker...

 

[onionskins]

Why does the mother glance up at at her daughter's body? LOL... Is she jealous of her own daughter?

 

[Remy88Lebeau]

Chapter 14 of anyone is curious what chapter it was. (Aquarium)

 

[Kalamel]

@kleiner

Well, what I meant for you to see is that the mother manipulated Koto so that she won't meet with her father or speak with him, while he still asked about Koto. To me, it seems like he is still cared about her at least a bit, but can't never meet her due to the mother.

Also, from that chapter I assume they're not yet divorced, which honestly baffled me and the first reason I came up with is Koto.

 

[Macarena]

@starch12313

Thanks for the link!

I would tell you what I agree and disagree with, but we're just gonna end up in circles lol. At the end of the day you believe Miya could have fixed this whole situation and I don't.
I understand that given the narrative we are more empathetic to Kousuke since we see the story from his pov, but I'm still surprised that people don't seem to understand Miya's actions.
We don't know how their relationship was prior to the start of the manga, but even without taking that into account. Miya closed herself up and after deciding to try to live "normally" again with her father not only does she realize that he's having a relationship but that said relationship just so happened to be with her best friend who also happens to be a minor. I mean, if Miya would have been chill about the whole situation I would have called bullshit lol.

As for Kousuke being a good or bad dad. He has shown a bunch of times that he knows his relationship with Koto is wrong, he has shown doubt numerous times, he has known since the start that it would hurt Miya, and he did nothing to either change his situation of prepare his daughter for it. We know he cares, but from the pov of Miya wouldn't he seem uncaring? She tried to confront him and he denied everything (out of fear, but we are the ones who know that, not Miya) and then after everything went to shit because he was seen by his daughter and by his coworker, Miya confronts him again and he offers to leave town, wouldn't he seem selfish? To Miya it looked like he was running away (and he kind of was, half because he was fed up and half because he cared, but again, Miya doesn't know that because Kousuke has not been honest with her -he has not been honest with anyone aside from Koto, but that's beside the point-). Neither Kousuke nor Miya nor Koto have perfect decision making abilities nor have the purest of feelings, and that's what makes this interesting. For me, at least.

I stand corrected about the affair bit, he is indeed not having an affair, he's just in a really dangerous relationship hahah
All in all, I'm gonna keep defending Miya because it doesn't sit well with me seeing people call her selfish and ungrateful and what not because she wasn't accepting of her grown ass father having a relationship with her best friend.