Musume no Tomodachi - Vol. 6 Ch. 52 - Friend

[Ryomi]

Meanwhile Kousuke is in prison, next chapter will be about him joining the Yakuza for protection.

 

[Tamerlane]

Consider: Miya is not a child, and in most pre-industrial societies, she would probably be considered an adult. @Deebees

To put all the blame on Kousuke as a neglectful father is a bit dishonest and ignores what the story has established up to this point. Miya is at least partially culpable for her own situation and part of it is out of both of their control, as her father is overworked, prone to anxiety and he, himself, is neglected from affection by anyone around him until Koto appears.

It reduce this down to him only giving his kid food when its shown that he struggles day after day to try and get Miya to come out of her shell after a long day slaving away at a black company just to scrape by as a single father earning peanuts is very clearly dishonest. This is not an easy feat for anyone, especially a man who just lost his wife and is just as emotionally vulnerable as his daughter.

 

[meidunk]

"if anything happens you can call me"
"oh yeah and I put your dad in prison"
"BITCH WHA--"

 

[Knighto]

@colossusbird it's worse, imagine Kousoke not knowing koto and doing what put him in jail... twice

 

[Hikki-kun]

lol, this comment section always descends to madness over moral questions that the manga has already established and questioned.
Idk guys, but if you have read the manga, its pretty clear the author intention isnt to judge the dad morally, but to question the morality of the society pressuring him. like why do you think there's a very detailed flashback about everything that got told to him by different ppl just when he was caught kissing koto and everyone was watching. that flashback also included his dad telling him about "how men are supposed to be stoic". you know, like the author isnt even subtle about it. questioning his supposed sloppy parenting isn't the manga core point.

its obvious we are now seeing him being crushed by society as the natural development of this. anyways, what I really don't get is this conversation between this girls. usually when something out of place happens in this manga the author has something evil in mind.

 

[Luke_chase]

She really do look like her dad

 

[avgjoegeek]

Miya might not be considered a child. But she is still very immature. And abused. So it complicates things so much.

He really should've gotten away. Even with the pressures of being a single Dad. And a shitty job. He still could have walked away. And called child services instead of trying to do the "right thing". Sure its complicated and he's lonely. And she was the only person paying attention to him. I get that 100%.

Still. He dug his own grave with this one. Now... he's going to have a record. He's going to have to resign from his job. And his daughter is probably going to hate him. And she's not exactly making great choices either at the moment. I can foresee him moving back and running the Liquor store for his parents if he can make it out of this current mess.

Life is messy. But sometimes the decisions to make are usually the simplest. Putting your neck out there just gets it cut and you can't go back to change those decisions. If I was in that same boat as him? I'd be paddling like a mofo.

 

[SmokeWagon]

I like how Kousuke has been all but abandoned.

Dude has probably committed seppuku by now

 

[Macarena]

People glossing over everything wrong Kousuke did because he was providing for his own daughter is baffling to me. What he did was basic parenting, people, if you aren't able to do that then maybe you shouldn't have kids. That's the bare minimum to raise a child, you shouldn't celebrate it.
As for this chapter, I'm glad Koto is apologizing, though I still feel that it was late and also, Kousuke may end up in jail?? with this on his recorrd?? I don't know if she's really regretful or just doing it because it's what's expected of her.
Thanks for translating!!

 

[Werducc]

@princess_daphie Amazing work as always. Thanks for translating such a cool manga. I think you dont get enough praise for work you do ALONE, so yeah you deserve it!

 

[zarian2]

Jeez this is always so brutal to read. But I keep doing it! (Because sometimes I'm a glutton for punishment)

 

[princess_daphie]

@ciera @Macarena always appreciate the headpats 😇
@PedroSimao002 thanks for mentioning! and yeah, this author really likes their ellipses!!!
@Legend13 i'll have some more work this week as the next chapter has more dialogue, less ellipses, lol
@Lithe you bet, there was SO MUCH text this week, loll, i had more work removing the sound effects this time around, haha, thanks for mentioning!
@AnotherRat now that would be quite the reversal!
@Werducc thanks for the recognition! i love doing all that and doing my best to do it right too 😇

 

[Legend13]

@princess_daphie I just want to say that I really appreciate you. 😀

 

[vessalius]

this story feels suffocatingly painful to read. probably due to the heavy questions it raises with each passing chapter.

i actively dread seeing this pop up in my follows list. and not due to the story or translation being subpar. rather, it just feels so depressing.

 

[Deebees]

@Tamerlane she’s a first year high school student. She is legally a child. She can not vote, she can’t drive a car, she can’t get married, she can’t open a bank account or take out a loan, she can’t work full time, she can’t drink etc etc. The human brain does not finish to fully develop before you’re 25, and most societies recognize that minors can not be held to the same standard of maturity because of that. Miya and Koto are children.

Has he ever once contacted child services or any other services to help with his mentally ill child? Has he contacted the school? Has he sought out therapy for himself so that he can eventually help them both out? Has he demonstrated love, trust and guidance to his child that he is responsible for? No. In fact, he literally just got taken to the police for potentially endangering the welfare of another child. There has been so many situations so far where he could have prevented things from escalating, but he didn’t. Kousuke is a bad, irresponsible parent. The only one who needs to be held accountable for anything imo is Kousuke and Kotos mother.

@Hikki-kun Yea we know that. It’s a psychological manga. One of the entertaining aspects of reading a psychological manga imo is to discuss and challenge the morals being presented.

 

[TNT261]

Pretty bad friend if you ask me. Can’t really control who you like. I’d be more angry at her dad for continuing it (but the only reason he was even meeting with her is because his own daughter and everyone around him treated him like nothing more than a tool not performing it’s role adequately). This is just a shitty manga for everyone all around. The girl herself had probably only fallen in love with the mc because her own parent was so bad. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if any of these main characters went full Joker. Really the only message, I can get from this is that no matter what we do, people always (and seem to only) hurt each other. How we treat and suffocate each other and then when someone is driven to a wall and does something unwise we finally look at them and that’s all we see. When people are involved there’s really no good way out. Even if everyone had made the most legal and societal acceptable decision, they would have been far from happy or had any of their problems solved. In the environment the Dad was in I wouldn’t have been surprised if he committed suicide at one point (that looked painful; how he was treated was painful just to read). The daughter’s friend/main heroine was also having serious problems; she could have gotten some free psychological help from child services, but as an adult the Dad had very few places to turn for help (and most places he did turn would cost him time and money he may not have been able to sacrifice). This is just a painful read. Which is weird. There’s never been a minute where I thought everything was gonna be okay for these characters or didn’t sympathize with the shitty situation they were in. This is why I hate the weird move for sensitivity, because at the end of the day, no matter what, People don’t care about other people. They like to tend they do, but they’ll easily turn a blind eye or intentionally (or like here unintentionally) cause each other a lot of pain. Something that’s fairly interesting because it wasn’t really a problem until we got a stable civilization. The only real antagonist in this series is society. Other people’s judgments and expectations. I mean sometimes, I have to say I wish I was on an island all by myself. Because just being in the world when the world is constantly hitting back at you and everyone acting like this, is painful (even when they mean well, people never seem to understand how much their expectations, assumptions, and standards can hurt, and they don’t seem to care to; I’m either expected to agree and go along with it or deal with it because I’m the problem, and yeah that is suffocating).

 

[Tamerlane]

@Deebees
First off, she's legally a minor, which is different from legally being a child in that she is seen in the eyes of the law as more responsible but not completely independent, which was generally the point I was making. She's not a child, she's a teenager, meaning she is still responsible for the choices she makes. That is not to say she is fully matured or independent, but that she is not completely devoid of agency either as you seem to want to characterize her.

>Has he ever once contacted child services or any other services to help with his mentally ill child?

No because that's crazy. You don't call CPS because your teenager and you are still grieving or because she won't leave her room.

Also, while depression and anxiety are mental disorders, it is not comparable to other cognitive impediments that the term "mental illness" implies. (I have both, and a myriad of other issues like Autism, but I can still be found culpable for my actions, for example.)

>Has he contacted the school?

Yes, it was established early on that he kept trying to get Miya out of her room so she could pass her exams because they kept contacting him about her trauncy, and that if she didn't pass she would be kicked out, if I recall correctly. It's how Koto first got in contact with him outside of the cafe she worked at. (Re-read chapter 1)

Has he sought out therapy for himself so that he can eventually help them both out?

Consider his circumstances and you'll realize why he can't go to therapy:
-He's been working a dead-end job at a black company that takes up 90% of his time, and when he hasn't been, he's been trying to take care of Miya and making sure she's feeding herself and cleaning. This does not include him taking care of his own physiological needs as well
-Miya was initially not even leaving her room and she refused to open up to anyone around him or her. Pair that with the fact he can't even trust her to go to school and she does not own a car nor have the ability to drive
-It's also implied that their family doesn't have a lot of money because he's living off one salary and trying to feed two people with it, indicating it's possible that may not be able to even afford it.

It's unlikely they would be able to meet consistently enough to get the therapy they need, and that, even if they could, Miya would not have opened herself up enough to solve that issue because of her stubborn nature. Even then, there's the issue that they can't even afford it. Not to mention that Japan has a stigma around therapy much more than here in the West

Has he demonstrated love, trust and guidance to his child that he is responsible for?

YES! Yes, he has! That was the entire point of him trying to get her out of her room, asking his dead wife for guidance and frequently making her food every day. He was only ever shown his own daughter love. When she runs away, he spends THE REST OF THE NIGHT TRYING TO FIND HER TO THE POINT WHERE HE IS LATE FOR WORK. He frequently tries to guide her towards good decisions like attending school and goes to bat for her when she needs it.

The way you frame this is as if he's neglectful when the text itself demonstrates that he's trying his hardest in a world that won't acknowledge his efforts. Your argument is either willfully dishonest or ignoring a massive amount of context the author has setup to demonstrate that Kousuke is trying his damnedest to make his way in the world after the death of his wife.

In fact, he literally just got taken to the police for potentially endangering the welfare of another child.

The framing of this is not accurate. He got taken into the police because Kitisugari's psychotic mother thought that her daughter kissing an older man (whom she, as her mother, had accused falsely before of indecent sexual conduct with no evidence) was in the wrong, when he did nothing to actively harm her. The narrative is clearly trying to portray the arrest of Kousuke as something we, the audience, are not meant to be in support of and view as based on neglecting the key information around the case. You frame it as if he was about to mug her or something to that affect.

There has been so many situations so far where he could have prevented things from escalating, but he didn’t.

Except her did. Several times. Remember, Koto tried to have sex with him in a love hotel and he straight out told her to stop and that he thought that she shouldn't have done it. (Chapters 16 and 17)

He is constantly trying to push back her advances in the first half the series, but he's worn down from life and no one caring about him. The furthest he's ever gone with her is get a consensual kiss. Any further is the line he will not cross.

Kousuke is a bad, irresponsible parent

The worst faith interpretation of his actions and his character. He constantly is struggling and questioning himself to do what is right and just, but is receiving pushback in every place he finds it.

Miya has to take some responsibility for her actions as well and acknowledge her father's frequent efforts to connect with her. He would sit by her door everyday and try to reach out to her, or he would try to get her old friends to come over in the hopes of any connection would help her to come out of her shell. Yet, Miya eventually runs away because she's sick of him "deciding things on his own." It was HER who locked herself up in her room, it was HER who never acknowledged his efforts to reach out to her or provide for her, and it was HER who refused to attend school, despite all Kousuke's efforts to bring her back. At some point, you have to acknowledge someone who is at the equivalence to a 10th grader needs to take some responsibility for her choices in life, because her father did everything in his power to guide her down the right path, short of Confucian levels of filial piety.

What do you want him to do? How do you think he can solve this issue? There's not an easy answer, here, unlike the characterization your argument makes.

 

[Deebees]

@Tamerlane a teenager is a child. Anyone who is a minor is legally a child. You’re just being pedantic at this point.

By the way I was not referring to the CPS. If you have problems dealing with a child, for example one that won’t attend school or is acting inappropriately, your local state very likely has a child welfare department you can contact that would reach out and send someone to do an assessment of the child. I’ve had experience myself with programs like this because of my sisters child who has had developmental issues.

Miya running away to me is actually quite a great example of the dysfunctional dynamic between father and daughter in this situation, and on how Kousuke has been handling the situation poorly as a parent.
Why did Miya decide to run away in the first place? Well because her father admitted to be in a flirtatious relationship with her classmate. A pretty traumatic situation to deal with. Furthermore his solution to this problem was to suddenly move away(so that he could run away). Not once did he ask what Miya thought would be best. So she has every right to believe that he just made decisions on his own.
And yes he did go out looking for her, but what did he do immediately after? He went back to Koto, the very reason she ran away in the first place.

The hotel scene is another interesting. Why did he agree to go to a hotel with her in the first place? Why did he continue the relationship with Koto even after it had proceeded this far? Kousuke could have avoided escalating relationships by putting clear boundaries on their relationship and not continuing this facade, but instead he has spent the last few chapters consciously letting Koto toy with the idea that they might have a romantic relationship. Not saying no to begin with IS the escalation.

I also disagree that the police situation was framed as something we were supposed to disagree with. Never once did I find myself disagreeing with the police handling of the situation, or Koto being interviewed by a police officer about it. To me that was a way to tell the readers about the legality of the relationship and the potential societal response to the relationship.

What do I want him to do? Realistically now that the police is involved, I would want him to cut all contact with Koto and let them handle the case with her abusive mother. Then I would want him to attend family therapy with his daughter.
However this is a manga and that’s not going to happen so rn I just want Miya to find another adult to trust. Potentially let her grandparents know of the situation. Would be interesting to know how Kousukes parents or his late wifes parents would react to this lmao

 

[Tamerlane]

@Deebees

It is a pedantic distinction, but a legally significant one because you can charge someone who is around her age with things you wouldn't be able to charge someone who is, say, 6. It's because the law acknowledges that people at different ages can be held accountable for different things, and sometimes that responsibility doesn't necessarily hold the parent accountable, who may not have done something wrong. Hence why you can charge someone her age as an adult if you can find sufficient evidence, but anyone younger than 7 usually cannot be charged with a crime.

You have problems dealing with a child, for example one that won’t attend school or is acting inappropriately, your local state very likely has a child welfare department you can contact that would reach out and send someone to do an assessment of the child.

That's the issue. Your STATE does. As in, it's something within the US. From what I can tell, Japan does not a prefecture/federal equivalent for children that I think would be commonly aware, as I could only find references to hospitals that specialize in child abuse. It's not a sign of bad parenting or neglect that Kousuke did not reach out to these services, not only because he did not have the time to, but because he most likely was incapable of doing so, and no where in the manga does it even make reference to the idea that this is even a possibility. I think you may be injecting your own biases and expectations into a setting where it doesn't belong here.

Miya running away to me is actually quite a great example of the dysfunctional dynamic between father and daughter in this situation, and on how Kousuke has been handling the situation poorly as a parent.
Why did Miya decide to run away in the first place? Well because her father admitted to be in a flirtatious relationship with her classmate. A pretty traumatic situation to deal with. Furthermore his solution to this problem was to suddenly move away(so that he could run away). Not once did he ask what Miya thought would be best. So she has every right to believe that he just made decisions on his own.

I'd say the opposite. That's Kousuke clearly TRYING to be a good parent.

Reread this interaction and show me why Kousuke is in the wrong, or why she can not settle her issues having a conversation that expresses her desire to stay

Spoiler

Also note: he's not DEMANDING she move to grandmother's house. He explicitly ASKS her how that makes her feel and that she'll do it if she so desires. He's not forcing her to do anything, and he's clearly looking out for what's in her best interest. This is

Also, there's nothing necessarily wrong with saying that because you're in an area that leads to a lot of emotional distress in both of them, that moving away is feasible option. You frame it like he's a coward for "running away" when he's trying to go away from a relationship you think is morally wrong and so he can give Miya more familial support.

You seem to want Kousuke to simultaneously be able to force her to do things she doesn't want to do like come out of her room and attend school, whilst at the same time saying that when he DOES make decisions. You've set it up so no matter what Kousuke does to help Miya or improve the situation, he's in the wrong. I ask you, again, what do you want him to do?

And yes he did go out looking for her, but what did he do immediately after? He went back to Koto, the very reason she ran away in the first place.

No, what he did immediately after that was go to his job to report being late to work, where he GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CONTACT HIS DAUGHTER NON-STOP BECAUSE HE COULDN'T FIND HER. Not only did he already get in contact with the police about this (who stopped him because he was acting suspiciously) but he almost chokes because he's so depressed about his daughter leaving.

He only comes into contact with Koto after he gets a text from her because he needs the moral support now more than ever as he now thinks that LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE IN HIS LIFE HAS ABANDONED HIM OR IS GONE. It's clear when he looked at the photos that he was torn with position he was in. It's also implied that his relationship with Koto wasn't what destroyed his relationship with Miya, but was the last straw after a series of differences between that were already in place. Their relationship was fractured from chapter one and he was doing everything to repair it, including uplifting his entire life and going away.

Your argument keeps framing his actions in the most dishonest way by removing the context these actions were committed in and acting like he's driven by lust and sexual gratification when he just wants someone who's shoulder he can lean on. And when you're in that deep dark mindset where the world is closing in around you and literally suffocating you to the point you can't breathe, I guarantee you will take that first helping hand, regardless of who it's from.

The hotel scene is another interesting. Why did he agree to go to a hotel with her in the first place?

Because Koto said she was feeling feverish and didn't feel comfortable going home. His first reaction is to ask if she's joking but she indicates that she's serious. It's not outright confirmed to be sexual in anyway or what he true intentions are.

If someone told you that they didn't feel safe at home and wanted to stay somewhere else for a little bit, I'd assume your reaction would ultimately be similar.

Why did he continue the relationship with Koto even after it had proceeded this far?

Because he still has feelings for her, even if he thinks she made a mistake, and he still needs her moral support in his life because no one else is taking care of that need.

He's not a heartless bastard that's using her. He wants to help her in the same way she helps him. It's silly to assume that desperate people are able to just suddenly and abruptly disconnect from a relationship they have. Like if I told you to leave your family tomorrow, you'd have reservations. Stop reducing the naunces of the situation into such simplistic ideas to mischaracterize Kousuke.

Kousuke could have avoided escalating relationships by putting clear boundaries on their relationship and not continuing this facade, but instead he has spent the last few chapters consciously letting Koto toy with the idea that they might have a romantic relationship.

Unfortunately people aren't that simple. You really can't control the people you fall in love with, and Kousuke is in a situation where the only person who seems to genuinely care about how he feels about anything is Koto. He did set boundaries after this, indicating he did not want to have a sexual relationship with her or enter an official relationship until she has graduated. He also tells her to stop often, like in chapter 23 when he doesn't want her to mess around with him in his house. He puts up clear extreme boundaries and tells her when she should stop or when he doesn't feel comfortable with something. Usually Koto is the one that tries to pressure him inot doing something and is the one who wears him down, but there are clear lines he will not cross.

Also, what, precisely, are you calling a "facade?" Their relationship? Because as far as I can tell, it's genuine on both sides between Koto and Kousuke. Facade implies one party is deceiving the other or manuiplating them, but that's clearly not what's going on. At all.

Not saying no to begin with IS the escalation.

No, I disagree because of who gradual the process is. Point me to somewhere where something escalates and he doesn't try to stop it or say no. Every time Koto tries to make their relationship more extreme, it's her acting upon him and he is trying to resist it, but she wears him down because he's still psychologically vulnerable.

I also disagree that the police situation was framed as something we were supposed to disagree with. Never once did I find myself disagreeing with the police handling of the situation, or Koto being interviewed by a police officer about it. To me that was a way to tell the readers about the legality of the relationship and the potential societal response to the relationship.

The author deliberately frames it in such a way that the entire circumstance was based on deceit and manipulation by Koto's mother to gather the public on her side. She's the one that takes the picture and makes a scene about the affair. She's the one that says he's being violent when he tries to deescalate and gets others to hold him down. She's the one who contacts the police over a kiss. The author is making the scene as confusing and anarchic as possible, making the entire thing feel like a blur of misunderstandings and miscommunications, a web of lies and deceit spun by Koto's mother rallying the mob to her side and using intimidation to make Koto not speak out against her when the man she loves is being put in custody for the actions SHE choose to commit.

Whether or not you support the idea of him being arrested, the author very carefully makes sure to paint the scene in such a way that it feels like its unjustified and that the reader is meant to be at least somewhat sympathetic to Kousuke's cause. Whether you, subjectively or morally, feel the same is irrelevant

To me that was a way to tell the readers about the legality of the relationship and the potential societal response to the relationship.

Technically under the prefecture law of Tokyo, having a relationship alone is not illegal. The only case in the law cited that he can be cited is for indecent conduct or sexual relations, neither of which I don't think you can in good faith pin on him. (Plus there's an exemption in the law for cases of genuine love, which is definitely the case in some sense)

What do I want him to do? Realistically now that the police is involved, I would want him to cut all contact with Koto and let them handle the case with her abusive mother. Then I would want him to attend family therapy with his daughter. However this is a manga and that’s not going to happen so rn I just want Miya to find another adult to trust. Potentially let her grandparents know of the situation. Would be interesting to know how Kousukes parents or his late wifes parents would react to this lmao

You're contradicting yourself. Earlier you framed Miya as morally in the right for running away, but Kousuke was literally trying to cut all ties with Koto and move in with Kousuke's parents/in-laws. Yet, now that Kousuke is in trouble, you want Miya to do a 180 and do what Kousuke wanted to do from the start? It seems you just want him to suffer because of his relationship alone, which I find unfair.

Additionally, Kousuke doesn't have any direct evidence of abuse of Koto's mother, so he can't really report her to the police. There's very little she could actually be charged with at this point that you could prove in a court of law, so it seems the best option is for Kousuke to help her to get out of the situation, and yet you seem to want him to cut all ties with her.

What's worse is that your slander of his character seems to fall perfectly in line with a justification of Koto's mother. In her eyes, she's justified everything she's done and neglected the whims of her daughter for the greater good of protecting her. She would characterize Kousuke in the same, uncharitable way devoid of context for his actions. She wants her to cut all ties with the man she loves, irrespective of her thoughts on the matter, and to keep cuddling her from the harms and dangers of society. I'm not saying you're morally wrong like she is, but I think a bit of introspection is in order on why specifically you oppose her, and why that line of logic also leads you to hating Kousuke.

 

[starlightcitypro]

@Lithe the fact that you give Kousuke "brownie points" for fulfilling his basic parental duties is laughable.

You talk all this stuff about maturity and responsibility, but in real life no one deserves a fucking cookie for doing what they're supposed to do. You want to give a dude who was sneaking around with his daughter's friend a head pat for doing the bare minimum?? Lmaooooo