@Bengon
Going to a therapist? That's shamefur dispray.
Issues like that are "solved" at home and in private, and if they cannot be solved, they're kept hidden and kept away in tight lock and if uncovered or become public just pretend they don't exist as best as you can and pray things "just work" again someday somehow.
Then again that's maybe a better solution than going to the therapist, being told to just be happy and pull yourself by the bootstraps and given a cocktail of pills tgat cost $100 weekly where 10 out of them are to deal with the side-effects the first 20 give you. And the privilege of being told all that for $200 per every 10 minute session.
Just a different kind of suck honestly.