Ema's marriage seems weird because she's deliberately closing herself off from him emotionally, so that she can survive in a loveless marriage. Her husband surely must understand this, but he seems to believe that if he just sticks by her long enough he'll eventually wear down her walls and she'll fall for him for real. You'd think this not happening after more than a decade would disabuse him of this notion but patriarchal conditioning is a hell of a drug.