Piss and hysterical Cackles

[DavidianMillerian]

Don't ever buy no weed from the gas station bro.

why, did your eyes turn into an SNES controller?

 

[KATCRX]

why, did your eyes turn into an SNES controller?

I don't know, I simply conveyed the message.

 

[Devourer]

wtf another one do i really have to start killing loving MD users?

edit: not literally its a joke

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

@bigtiddyoneesan - apparently some of the newer folks need help figuring out whose alt @Rounded_Magikarp is, and given your work on the LLG case (which should be required forum reading), perhaps you could lend a hand?

Let's start with what we know. The account @Rounded_Magikarp was spontaneously created a mere 9 days ago. Since then, he's posted a total of 5 messages, notably all on the forum. I reckon further examination of these messages will clue us in as to who this enigmatic stranger truly is.

Exhibit A:
Here we can see that Mr. Magikarp entered the fray with a message on @Blocky_Mudkip's profile. His motive, I suspect, was to antagonize Mr. Mudkip—to inform him that his time was up, so to speak—that a new sheriff was in town. We can see a variety of responses to this initial message, including one from Mr. Mudkip himself, seemingly bewildered at this mystery Magikarp's sudden appearance.

Among these individuals, we can separate those deserving of suspicion from casual onlookers. The jury (@pandascepter, @EOTFOFYL, and @sterven) may already be aware of this, but perpetrators will often inject themselves into the aftermaths of the crimes they commit. Kanamon and Basic_human's responses were both simple interjections—nothing substantial. Would the culprit be satisfied with merely remarking on the situation and continuing on with his day? Perhaps... but it's far more likely that he would choose instead to fan the flames of the conflict—rather, he could hardly restrain himself from doing so.

Though we're only at the ground floor, we already have our three main suspects.

We'll begin with the evaluation of suspect number one, Mr. Mudkip himself. His response to the message we saw in Exhibit A was as quick as our residential moderator Richman's average Discord response time—5 minutes, to be precise. Could it be that Mr. Mudkip jumped the gun by account-switching too early?

Possibly, but I have a more plausible explanation. As you may know, Mangadex's forum site will notify users of any messages posted on their profiles. Would it be beyond belief to then claim that Mr. Mudkip had simply been online at the time of the message?

Furthermore, we can gain insight by examining Mr. Mudkip's subsequent interactions with the imposter. Please turn to Exhibit B. Here, plain as day, are the very words that shut the lid on any further uncertainty towards the degree of Mr. Mudkip's culpability in this scheme. He describes the perpetrator as—and pardon my French, your Honor—"that fucker."

Ask yourselves, would Blocky_Mudkip—who we are all quite familiar with by now—ever paint himself in such a negative light, even if it were for the advancement of a greater goal? I think we all know the answer: absolutely not! Such a scenario would be verily absurd. Not to mention, Mr. Mudkip ranks rather low on the list of Machiavellian forumgoers around here. It would simply be uncharacteristic of him.

Now have a gander at Exhibit C. When factoring in this exchange's rhetoric, timing, and the general "vibe" it elicits, would any sane man claim, devoid of irony or ulterior motives, that these two individuals are one and the same? Of course not; such a fool would be laughed out of the courtroom and then likely assaulted in the streets by a gang of indignant youths.

Finally, Mr. Magikarp's response in Exhibit B is one of dejection. Take note of his verbiage: "no fun." The culprit—as a result of his sick, twisted mind—derives pleasure from a scheme of this sort, whereas Mr. Mudkip absolutely loathes the concept of "fun," and will often devolve into bizarre diatribes when the topic is broached.

With that demonstrated, let me again turn your attention towards Exhibit A to introduce our second suspect. Indeed, it's none other than @Angry_Panda, a seasoned veteran when it comes to... being a seasoned veteran, I suppose.

Mr. Panda—not to be confused with @pandascepter, who sits on today's jury—is... wait, who the fuck signed off on that? What happened to juror impartiality? These are the only two 'pandas' on the forums—we can't have one pass judgement on the other in a fair trial like this! But I digress. For the sake of time, I shall continue where I left off.

As I'm sure you're all aware, Mr. Panda is the one who brought this case to my attention in the first place—but that certainly does not mean his words will be met with any less scrutiny. For the umpteenth time, I ask that you refer to Exhibit A. While Mr. Panda's suggestion to Mr. Mudkip may seem innocuous at first, the devil is most certainly in the details. Consider his intentions when he brazenly name-drops "Lounge" and "GFG."

If you realize where I'm going with this, then hats off to you, buddy. Were Mr. Panda to be identified as the culprit, the probable cause behind his acts of terror is far from well-hidden. Need I spell it out for you more? Very well then—open the pamphlet I gave you to page 7, where you'll find Exhibit D. Scroll down to Mr. Panda's message, and it becomes as clear as my local library's parking lot after that bomb threat was called in last month.

Evidently, Mr. Panda is attempting to stir up some excitement in the Lounge—whether or not he is the culprit is irrelevant to this simple fact, though it does serve as a compelling motive. Yearning to re-experience that spark of youth—alongside a longing for the v3 forum's Golden Age—have led Mr. Panda to rock the boat not-so-subtlety.

But that would be far too convenient.

Are we honestly to believe that Mr. Panda possesses the technical know-how to even create a second account? Just consider your parents, people—they still have to look at the keyboard as they type! In all actuality, Mr. Panda has long forgotten the arcane knowledge of 'account creation,' and can only pine for his younger years where esoteric forums and AOL.com emails were a cakewalk to him.

With this, we're left only with our third and final suspect. I'll cut right to the chase. We find one thing in common when reviewing Exhibits A, B, C, D, and E: the user @DavidianMillerian appears in every single one.

Coincidence? Coincidences don't exist. But let's dive deeper. In Exhibit A, Mr. Millerian repeatedly assures Mr. Mudkip that he is not, in fact, the imposter. Were he truly uninvolved in the antics of Mr. Magikarp, would we not be none the wiser? Yet he preemptively and persistently denies culpability—almost as if he is eager to do so. That, or a guilty conscience. What from, I wonder?

Moving on to Exhibits C and E, we can see that Mr. Millerian responded to Mr. Magikarp's frivolity in a mere 3 and 12 minutes, respectively. Quite quick on your feet there, aren't you, Mr. Millerian? But that's not all! The peculiarity of Mr. Magikarp's message in Exhibit D can only be observed in the messages of a single user: Mr. Millerian.

All the cards are on the table. The jig is up, and the true culprit has no moves left.

I'm afraid you've been utterly backed into a corner, Mr. Magikarp. Or should I say...

Spoiler: CULPRIT REVEAL

@BlackGeneral!!! It was you, right from the start!

You bided your time, all the while pretending to be inactive! After the previous debacle, you decided that you just had to pull it off for real, and you really went for it this time! But not on my watch. As long as I'm here to deduce every scheme of yours, you'll never get away with it!

And even if it's not you, I'm still going to say that it is! Because this is the kind of man I am!

 

[Angry_Panda]

Truly astounding work, BTO! I never would have considered this possibility before your explanation, but can now see that it was obvious all along!


(@pandascepter - check's in the mail.)

 

[pandascepter]

Let's start with what we know. The account @Rounded_Magikarp was spontaneously created a mere 9 days ago. Since then, he's posted a total of 5 messages, notably all on the forum. I reckon further examination of these messages will clue us in as to who this enigmatic stranger truly is.

Exhibit A:
Here we can see that Mr. Magikarp entered the fray with a message on @Blocky_Mudkip's profile. His motive, I suspect, was to antagonize Mr. Mudkip—to inform him that his time was up, so to speak—that a new sheriff was in town. We can see a variety of responses to this initial message, including one from Mr. Mudkip himself, seemingly bewildered at this mystery Magikarp's sudden appearance.

Among these individuals, we can separate those deserving of suspicion from casual onlookers. The jury (@pandascepter, @EOTFOFYL, and @sterven) may already be aware of this, but perpetrators will often inject themselves into the aftermaths of the crimes they commit. Kanamon and Basic_human's responses were both simple interjections—nothing substantial. Would the culprit be satisfied with merely remarking on the situation and continuing on with his day? Perhaps... but it's far more likely that he would choose instead to fan the flames of the conflict—rather, he could hardly restrain himself from doing so.

Though we're only at the ground floor, we already have our three main suspects.

We'll begin with the evaluation of suspect number one, Mr. Mudkip himself. His response to the message we saw in Exhibit A was as quick as our residential moderator Richman's average Discord response time—5 minutes, to be precise. Could it be that Mr. Mudkip jumped the gun by account-switching too early?

Possibly, but I have a more plausible explanation. As you may know, Mangadex's forum site will notify users of any messages posted on their profiles. Would it be beyond belief to then claim that Mr. Mudkip had simply been online at the time of the message?

Furthermore, we can gain insight by examining Mr. Mudkip's subsequent interactions with the imposter. Please turn to Exhibit B. Here, plain as day, are the very words that shut the lid on any further uncertainty towards the degree of Mr. Mudkip's culpability in this scheme. He describes the perpetrator as—and pardon my French, your Honor—"that fucker."

Ask yourselves, would Blocky_Mudkip—who we are all quite familiar with by now—ever paint himself in such a negative light, even if it were for the advancement of a greater goal? I think we all know the answer: absolutely not! Such a scenario would be verily absurd. Not to mention, Mr. Mudkip ranks rather low on the list of Machiavellian forumgoers around here. It would simply be uncharacteristic of him.

Now have a gander at Exhibit C. When factoring in this exchange's rhetoric, timing, and the general "vibe" it elicits, would any sane man claim, devoid of irony or ulterior motives, that these two individuals are one and the same? Of course not; such a fool would be laughed out of the courtroom and then likely assaulted in the streets by a gang of indignant youths.

Finally, Mr. Magikarp's response in Exhibit B is one of dejection. Take note of his verbiage: "no fun." The culprit—as a result of his sick, twisted mind—derives pleasure from a scheme of this sort, whereas Mr. Mudkip absolutely loathes the concept of "fun," and will often devolve into bizarre diatribes when the topic is broached.

With that demonstrated, let me again turn your attention towards Exhibit A to introduce our second suspect. Indeed, it's none other than @Angry_Panda, a seasoned veteran when it comes to... being a seasoned veteran, I suppose.

Mr. Panda—not to be confused with @pandascepter, who sits on today's jury—is... wait, who the fuck signed off on that? What happened to juror impartiality? These are the only two 'pandas' on the forums—we can't have one pass judgement on the other in a fair trial like this! But I digress. For the sake of time, I shall continue where I left off.

As I'm sure you're all aware, Mr. Panda is the one who brought this case to my attention in the first place—but that certainly does not mean his words will be met with any less scrutiny. For the umpteenth time, I ask that you refer to Exhibit A. While Mr. Panda's suggestion to Mr. Mudkip may seem innocuous at first, the devil is most certainly in the details. Consider his intentions when he brazenly name-drops "Lounge" and "GFG."

If you realize where I'm going with this, then hats off to you, buddy. Were Mr. Panda to be identified as the culprit, the probable cause behind his acts of terror is far from well-hidden. Need I spell it out for you more? Very well then—open the pamphlet I gave you to page 7, where you'll find Exhibit D. Scroll down to Mr. Panda's message, and it becomes as clear as my local library's parking lot after that bomb threat was called in last month.

Evidently, Mr. Panda is attempting to stir up some excitement in the Lounge—whether or not he is the culprit is irrelevant to this simple fact, though it does serve as a compelling motive. Yearning to re-experience that spark of youth—alongside a longing for the v3 forum's Golden Age—have led Mr. Panda to rock the boat not-so-subtlety.

But that would be far too convenient.

Are we honestly to believe that Mr. Panda possesses the technical know-how to even create a second account? Just consider your parents, people—they still have to look at the keyboard as they type! In all actuality, Mr. Panda has long forgotten the arcane knowledge of 'account creation,' and can only pine for his younger years where esoteric forums and AOL.com emails were a cakewalk to him.

With this, we're left only with our third and final suspect. I'll cut right to the chase. We find one thing in common when reviewing Exhibits A, B, C, D, and E: the user @DavidianMillerian appears in every single one.

Coincidence? Coincidences don't exist. But let's dive deeper. In Exhibit A, Mr. Millerian repeatedly assures Mr. Mudkip that he is not, in fact, the imposter. Were he truly uninvolved in the antics of Mr. Magikarp, would we not be none the wiser? Yet he preemptively and persistently denies culpability—almost as if he is eager to do so. That, or a guilty conscience. What from, I wonder?

Moving on to Exhibits C and E, we can see that Mr. Millerian responded to Mr. Magikarp's frivolity in a mere 3 and 12 minutes, respectively. Quite quick on your feet there, aren't you, Mr. Millerian? But that's not all! The peculiarity of Mr. Magikarp's message in Exhibit D can only be observed in the messages of a single user: Mr. Millerian.

All the cards are on the table. The jig is up, and the true culprit has no moves left.

I'm afraid you've been utterly backed into a corner, Mr. Magikarp. Or should I say...

Spoiler: CULPRIT REVEAL

@BlackGeneral!!! It was you, right from the start!

You bided your time, all the while pretending to be inactive! After the previous debacle, you decided that you just had to pull it off for real, and you really went for it this time! But not on my watch. As long as I'm here to deduce every scheme of yours, you'll never get away with it!

And even if it's not you, I'm still going to say that it is! Because this is the kind of man I am!

I poop my pants.

 

[sterven]

Spoiler: CULPRIT REVEAL

@BlackGeneral!!! It was you, right from the start!

You bided your time, all the while pretending to be inactive! After the previous debacle, you decided that you just had to pull it off for real, and you really went for it this time! But not on my watch. As long as I'm here to deduce every scheme of yours, you'll never get away with it!

And even if it's not you, I'm still going to say that it is! Because this is the kind of man I am!

I KNEW IT!

Spoiler

Whenever this type of tomfoolery is around bukkake black general is the culprit behind it.

I wish i could share this video without getting banned as it incapsulates my sentiments to this trial. Hopefully just putting the link isn't a problem.

 

[NotGary]

what if @Rounded_Magikarp was instead called freaky_magikarp and made a thread about sucking toes and licking feets ?

 

[BakedBanana]

what if @Rounded_Magikarp was instead called freaky_magikarp and made a thread about sucking toes and licking feets ?

Now now, don't give anyone any ideas.

 

[Blocky_Mudkip]

Now now, don't give anyone any ideas.

One doppelganger was enough, if this one existed, id quit the forums

 

[Basic_human]

freaky_magikarp

No no no

I think Triangular_Archeus is better. A sin confession thread

 

[Rounded_Magikarp]

No no no

I think Triangular_Archeus is better. A sin confession thread

One alt is enough for me

 

[EOTFOFYL]

I understand now,
The general was a fish
From the beginning.

 

[pandascepter]

I understand now,
The general was a fish
From the beginning.

get it because its fish? @Richman doesnt get it. smh he needs to calm his scales on discord for 50+message per minute.

 

[NotGary]

imagine the kind of fringe, extremist political ideology that this mash-up could inspire.

 

[Rounded_Magikarp]

Maybe I need a new pfp

 

[DavidianMillerian]

Maybe I need a new pfp

or maybe you could stay away from the forums, how about that?

 

[Rounded_Magikarp]

or maybe you could stay away from the forums, how about that?

But I'm everyone's favorite forum member, right @Angry_Panda

 

[Angry_Panda]

But I'm everyone's favorite forum member, right @Angry_Panda

Uh... I'mma follow Dave's example here:

 

[Ivegotnolife]