Sensitive Boy - Vol. 4 Ch. 28 - Tsubasa and Aya

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You sounds like those elderly people who complain that kids nowadays are spoiled because they hasn't been beaten up by their parents.

Tsubasa didn't have the tools to understand why what she did was bad and she hasn't the tools now anyway. She feels only that she isn't normal. Aya's harsh words aren't a solution for the lack of sex ed that Tsubasa missed. The point is exactly this: Aya's words aren't teaching anything, they're only blaming Tsubasa for something that she can't understand/digest.
This is false, Tsubasa understands 100% that what she did was wrong, she knows this very well

She just can't help to do it regardless, even when she knows she is the wrong, she still thinks about it, and still reacts automatically, it is ingrained in her

Her problem and the reason why she is crying, is because she knows she is in the wrong, but can't help but still fuck up, she also is "self aware" about why this is happening to her, she knows that her problem is that she was raised ignorant, and as thus instead of owning to her flaws she uses excuses to blame her actions and ideas on everyone else

Finally Aya's words are needed, because no one else has truly confronted her about it

When Kaede's friends came in they did quite a halfassed job at it, and the conversation ended as if Kaede was in the wrong for telling her about his pasts, giving her an excuse to blame things on other people

Indeed her turncoat, treacherous, snake of a back stabber "friend", was supporting and defending her till last chapter, even saying that Kaede was trauma dumping stuff that was too heavy for Tsubasa to deal with, and that it was his fault

That shit was going to remain that way, until Aya came in and talked some truth, before this chapter, her social circle was that of an enabler and her own wrong views about the world

And the very moment shit got real, her "friend" jumped ship and abandoned her, acting as if she wasn't on her team, being an enabler and supporting her

If no one is willing to actually say things ass they are, without sugarcoating, and without offering excuses or ways of escapism, she will never get to start working on herself
 
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i do think aya was too harsh here, but i think thats just a factor of youth and kids being unable to regulate strong emotions as well as adults. nothing she was actually saying was wrong though.

as for tsubasa, i think that while she acted very inconsiderately and was wrong for doing so, she might also be sex-repulsed which is a real thing that people deal with that needs to be treated with care. both can be true. im leaning toward this being the case as the author seems to be interested in including a lot of character with varied relations to sex and relationships, so this could be another instance of that.
 
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Aya went too far, nobody asked her to bully Tsubasa in that way. Aya's attitude is pretty bad. It is possible to express an opinion without lecturing and shouting in the face.
You missed an important piece of narrative that explains Aya's anger; Aya is personally offended by Tsubasa's action towards Kaede.

"... Mine is nothing compared to Seto's, but I experienced something similar in the past,"
"So you are saying that my past and people who have experienced in those acts are all filthy and disgusting?!"

Tsubasa action and opinion on the matter hurts all victims of SA, including Aya. It was not a lecture from a friend, it wasn't bullying, but it was an honest anger from a fellow victim to a victim-blamer. It was all personal for her, and Aya is clearly ready to burn the bridge between her and a person that thinks her pain was "filthy".
what if Tsubasa committed suicid3?
That'd be sad for everyone around her, but for someone who got victim-blamed? Good riddance. After all, you can feel grief and relief at the same time.
 
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So here’s the test, whether or not you think the comments are too hard on Tsubasa, will she internalize any of this?

I’m not saying she needs to find Kaede and start groveling, but if she continually blames everyone else for her discomfort, then her problems go deeper than never getting sex ed.

Even if she felt the way she did, it was needlessly cruel to accuse Kaede of not fighting his rape hard enough and not maintaining his “purity” for her.
nah even if she comes to understand later I wouldn't like to see her ending up with kaede like 0% she hurt him too much and her comments from before still baffle me
want him to end up with Aya, it feels like they would be good together
 
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I can assure you that if a friend of mine does something bad but feels bad and on the verge of crying I typically try to let them understand what they did wrong without being a therapist and without yelling at their face. It is totally possible, you know? Even without U-turn my moral.
No, you are not holier than thou, and you are naive, too young or simple to understand the flow of the conversation, or simply lying. Which is wrong, even on the internet.
Atonement comes from within, not without; becoming the better person is Tsubasa's responsibility, regardless of the reason or the background for her action, or else no one is at fault for anything.

That you have honed in on Tsubasa crying and stripped out everything else to arrive to your position, says really awful things about your own interpersonal relationships.
 
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If no one is willing to actually say things ass they are, without sugarcoating, and without offering excuses or ways of escapism, she will never get to start working on herself
I disagree on this part. There were many ways to help her working on herself. For example tell her to ask help from an adult. Btw, it's not the volume of the voice or the aggressiveness of the gestures who determines the level of sugarcoating. As I already said in many comments and I'm tired of repeating this same concept, the issue here are not Aya's words about the fact that victim blaming is wrong but the fact that she played the bad cop role by yelling at Tsubasa's face and tugging her dress in page 9.
 
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I disagree on this part. There were many ways to help her working on herself. For example tell her to ask help from an adult. Btw, it's not the volume of the voice or the aggressiveness of the gestures who determines the level of sugarcoating. As I already said in many comments and I'm tired of repeating this same concept, the issue here are not Aya's words about the fact that victim blaming is wrong but the fact that she played the bad cop role by yelling at Tsubasa's face and tugging her dress in page 9.
Na she needs to get dealt with severity, laying things off softly on her when she is actively trying to build excuses is not gonna work

She has to be reprimanded
 
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No, you are not holier than thou, and you are naive, too young or simple to understand the flow of the conversation, or simply lying. Which is wrong, even on the internet.
Atonement comes from within, not without; becoming the better person is Tsubasa's responsibility, regardless of the reason or the background for her action, or else no one is at fault for anything.

That you have honed in on Tsubasa crying and stripped out everything else to arrive to your position, says really awful things about your own interpersonal relationships.
Young? I'm 29 yo and, you know, the role of friends is not yelling at every bad action of a friend.

I'm imagining you that yells in the face of a friend for drinking alcohol while being underage or for smoking weed, or whatever. Are you president of some moral committee or something?

As you said Aya can't be responsible of the eventual atonement of Tsubasa so telling her point calmly or by yelling won't change the outcome. Tsubasa's redemption is in her own hands. Aya's outburst helped only herself to vent some anger and play the role of the judge
 
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Na she needs to get dealt with severity, laying things off softly on her when she is actively trying to build excuses is not gonna work

She has to be reprimanded
The good old brute force enforcement. I'm not a fan of it. It doesn't solve anything and encourage people to disconnect from the person who applies it.
 
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This is false, Tsubasa understands 100% that what she did was wrong, she knows this very well

She just can't help to do it regardless, even when she knows she is the wrong, she still thinks about it, and still reacts automatically, it is ingrained in her

Her problem and the reason why she is crying, is because she knows she is in the wrong, but can't help but still fuck up, she also is "self aware" about why this is happening to her, she knows that her problem is that she was raised ignorant, and as thus instead of owning to her flaws she uses excuses to blame her actions and ideas on everyone else

Finally Aya's words are needed, because no one else has truly confronted her about it

When Kaede's friends came in they did quite a halfassed job at it, and the conversation ended as if Kaede was in the wrong for telling her about his pasts, giving her an excuse to blame things on other people

Indeed her turncoat, treacherous, snake of a back stabber "friend", was supporting and defending her till last chapter, even saying that Kaede was trauma dumping stuff that was too heavy for Tsubasa to deal with, and that it was his fault

That shit was going to remain that way, until Aya came in and talked some truth, before this chapter, her social circle was that of an enabler and her own wrong views about the world

And the very moment shit got real, her "friend" jumped ship and abandoned her, acting as if she wasn't on her team, being an enabler and supporting her

If no one is willing to actually say things ass they are, without sugarcoating, and without offering excuses or ways of escapism, she will never get to start working on herself
I don't really agree with your perspective on Tsubasa's friend, she was simply ignorant of what really happened and was going off of what Tsubasa told her. From her perspective, Tsubasa involuntarily had a bunch of heavy trauma dumped on her and when she couldn't handle it her boyfriend dumped her. Of course, this is not at all what went went down but she wasn't aware of that and was ultimately just standing up for her friend who was at that moment in an emotionally unstable state. This is even spelled out directly in chapter 23, where she admits she spoke out of line and regrets doing so. I'm assuming she's currently quite shaken after finding out what actually happened, though we will likely hear her thoughts about the situation in the upcoming chapters.
 
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her twintailed friend tho, that bitch is a low life scumbag, a fucking snake, what a back stabber, she is the reason why men who hate women, go around saying that friendship among women is fake
Indeed her turncoat, treacherous, snake of a back stabber
Wow, thanks for making this comments section an even worse place than it already was, and sprinkle some misogyny on top while we're at it. I swear to god, people who reach for pitchforks and torches at the drop of a hat should just self-isolate themselves from the society before they can harm anyone
even saying that Kaede was trauma dumping stuff that was too heavy for Tsubasa to deal with
Kaede did trauma dump stuff that was too heavy for Tsubasa to deal with, did he not? Was she wrong with that observation?
and that it was his fault
Did you deliberately make it sound like she's victim-blaming Kaede? Stop making shit up, she did not say that "it" was his fault, whatever "it" you imply here. She says that if a third party can start blaming Tsubasa for thoughtlessly entering a relationship she could not handle properly, so can Kaede be blamed by a third party for being thoughtless by dumping his stuff onto a person who could not handle it.

I was on the fence about Momoka before I read your comment, but now that I've researched the manga better, I think she handled every situation as best as possible given what she knew. So thanks for that, I guess
 

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