- Joined
- Aug 21, 2023
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- 2
THATS MY GOAT
A trauma dump is a trauma dump irregardless of whether it was asked for or not, and Tsubasa didn't seem insistent or even asked him to tell her EVERYTHING. Kaede was totally in a position to refuse answering her "What happened exactly...?".except it's not really a trauma dump when Tsubasa herself told Kaede to tell her EVERYTHING.
The point Momoka makes is that, if Tsubasa is to be blamed for entering a relationship she did not know she couldn't handle - which is an absurd thing to blame for, so does Kaede bears blame for offloading his cargo onto her - which is equally as absurd.and then blame him for telling his trauma to her
Trauma Dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation.A trauma dump is a trauma dump irregardless of whether it was asked for or not, and Tsubasa didn't seem insistent or even asked him to tell her EVERYTHING. Kaede was totally in a position to refuse answering her "What happened exactly...?".
Good if it worked for you, my experience it's different. I had this female friend, we were close and we used to spend much time together. One day we were on a bus in the last line of seats (the one where there are 5 sests all together), she were near the left window, on her right there was me and at my right a stranger girl. This girl, out of the blue decided to complain that I was leg-spreading her. The seats were cramped and I had a school bag between my legs. I ignored this girl the first time but she went on complaining. At a point I snapped and yelled to this girl that she could standing in the middle of the bus if she was uncomfortable. She started to reply yelling nonsense and I was really close to slap her. Some days after this event, my friend started complaining that my male friends were changing me, that I was turning into a misogynist weirdo and a bad person (it wasn't the true) and started criticizing every damn thing that was bad for her standard. There's nothing worse than a friend that turns into an annoying echo chamber of critics. After that our friendship didn't last long.i snap at my friends once because he does the dumbest stupid shit i've ever heard to someone while crying thinking he's the victim just like what tsubasa does. note : we're still in high school at the moment
i kept it real. no holding back bs, told him off of what the dumb shit he do and what he could have been done at that moment. even my other friend that witness the shit told me "damn dude you're scary when angry like that". even after more than 10 years we're still friends, he even told me at one time i'm more like a brother to him than his real brother, even not long ago when we had heart to heart conversation when he's on his low. he thank me that i scold him like that. that he think he's a much more better person right now. and can't even imagine what he could become if i just become a "yes man" and never told him off when he mess up.
don't get me wrong, i also did the dumbest fucking shit i've ever done when i was highschool. and got 2 type of friends, the "yes man" and the one that actually get angry and told me off. and i keep the one that get angry as a friends even till this day and hang out with them occasionally, so i know when i mess up real bad, they would be the one that correct me. not excuse my mistake
fr i thought she was gonna instigate rumors about Kaede since thats what she seemed to be doing since way back in chapter FOUR of all things... good thing she bait and switched upEXCUSE ME??? RANDOM SIDE CHARACTER I KINDA FORGOT ABOUT TURNS OUT TO BE ABSOLUTE GIRLBOSS???
Another definition talks about "without consideration for how it might impact the listener", which is closer to what has happened, but that's semantics and I am not particularily insistent on sticking to that term, we can call it Trauma Sharing or something like that. He did end up sharing information she couldn't handle, which you couldn't reasonably blame him for, but neither can you blame Tsubasa for not knowing beforehand she wouldn't be able to handle it.Trauma Dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation.
Tsubasa may or may not have matured or understood Kaede enough by that point to be able to properly handle his past, but most likely and what you're saying is - their relationship was doomed from the beginning. Tsubasa couldn't possibly know she wouldn't be able to handle his past when she confessed to him, Kaede didn't know how Tsubasa would respond to him opening up about his experiences. Tsubasa telling him "sorry, that's too much for me to handle, let's break up" - if that would've been what had happened and what Momoka seemingly assumed it had - would've been a shitty situation for sure, and would've hurt Kaede, but could any party be held to blame for that?but sooner or later he need to tell her. because they are in relationship. do you think Tsubasa reaction would be different if Kaede tell her at a later time? because i don't think it would be that much different. in fact i think her reaction would be much more worse and might go ballistic since Kaede "hiding the fact" from her.
That's really wild to me. It was mainly my strict ass aunt taking care of me for about four years from 5 to 8/9. I still managed. I guess it also depends on the curiosity of the person too because that's what got me to look.It HARDCORE depends on the parents. I had to give a 23 yo roomate The Talk about STDs and their effects cause he had literally zero idea what any of them are.
Damn can't they get in serious trouble by falsifying shit?I graduated from a small rural high school in America and have never taken an actual sex education class in my life, even though it is required curriculum our conservative school board falsified records so we didn't have to take the class (We had an extra period where we did nothing basically). I ended up researching safe practices on my own but that was after graduation when I went to college (Thankfully my school days were uneventful anyway). As for anatomy and the way reproduction works our Ag teacher taught us human and animal repro even though he was only supposed to do the animal side. I new a kid at my school that thought babies came from belly buttons until he was 15 though.... so yeah I agree it is everywhere and it sucks. Kids NEED to be taught this stuff. (Also I didn't have internet until I was 13- small rural= bad internet)
I mean, after shedding some truth, there's really nothing Momoka (Twintails) can say to defend Tsubasa, seeing how speechless she was she also knows that Tsubasa fucked up big-time and she would only look as bad if she tried defending her like she did when Asahi confronted herThis is false, Tsubasa understands 100% that what she did was wrong, she knows this very well
She just can't help to do it regardless, even when she knows she is the wrong, she still thinks about it, and still reacts automatically, it is ingrained in her
Her problem and the reason why she is crying, is because she knows she is in the wrong, but can't help but still fuck up, she also is "self aware" about why this is happening to her, she knows that her problem is that she was raised ignorant, and as thus instead of owning to her flaws she uses excuses to blame her actions and ideas on everyone else
Finally Aya's words are needed, because no one else has truly confronted her about it
When Kaede's friends came in they did quite a halfassed job at it, and the conversation ended as if Kaede was in the wrong for telling her about his pasts, giving her an excuse to blame things on other people
Indeed her turncoat, treacherous, snake of a back stabber "friend", was supporting and defending her till last chapter, even saying that Kaede was trauma dumping stuff that was too heavy for Tsubasa to deal with, and that it was his fault
That shit was going to remain that way, until Aya came in and talked some truth, before this chapter, her social circle was that of an enabler and her own wrong views about the world
And the very moment shit got real, her "friend" jumped ship and abandoned her, acting as if she wasn't on her team, being an enabler and supporting her
If no one is willing to actually say things ass they are, without sugarcoating, and without offering excuses or ways of escapism, she will never get to start working on herself
i would say your female friends are the same as my friends that would not hold back at me when i do dumb shit except he was a guy. i guess the difference is our reaction to that.Good if it worked for you, my experience it's different. I had this female friend, we were close and we used to spend much time together. One day we were on a bus in the last line of seats (the one where there are 5 sests all together), she were near the left window, on her right there was me and at my right a stranger girl. This girl, out of the blue decided to complain that I was leg-spreading her. The seats were cramped and I had a school bag between my legs. I ignored this girl the first time but she went on complaining. At a point I snapped and yelled to this girl that she could standing in the middle of the bus if she was uncomfortable. She started to reply yelling nonsense and I was really close to slap her. Some days after this event, my friend started complaining that my male friends were changing me, that I was turning into a misogynist weirdo and a bad person (it wasn't the true) and started criticizing every damn thing that was bad for her standard. There's nothing worse than a friend that turns into an annoying echo chamber of critics. After that our friendship didn't last long.
from my opinion Aya words both criticizing Tsubasa action and her way of thinking. because Aya herself explain that she's experiencing something similar. and she herself are the person that Tsubasa considered "filthy" even though it's not Aya or Kaede or any SA victim fault when that happened. so Tsubasa generalizing SA victim as "filthy" become really personal for AyaNow back to the manga, Aya is a teenager, indeed, but she should be mature enough to read the mood. Were Aya's words targeting Tsubasa's actions (considering the reasons that led to them) or Tsubasa as a person? Probably the author is thinking that this is a good trick so that Tsubasa can redime herself, but in my opinion this chapter is went overboard. As someone else said like applying cold water to burned skin. It reminds me of those situations where hikikomoris' pcs were smashed in front of their eyes to force them going out again or similar "shock therapy" situations.