shitpost here

[sterven]

@bigtiddyoneesan @stervem @EOTFOFYL
next week on sunday. Our journey will continue

who is this stervem? i would very much like to meet them sounds like a swell guy

 

[pandascepter]

bro im been playing nothing but darktide recently with a sororitas build how did u know?

Im inside your wall.

 

[pandascepter]

who is this stervem? i would very much like to meet them sounds like a swell guy

hes brother of sterben. a sister to sterven

 

[pandascepter]

Somehow palpatine returned

 

[Ivegotnolife]

 

[Angry_Panda]

There are three Star Wars movies and a Christmas special. Everything else can fuck off.

 

[EOTFOFYL]

@pandascepter
It's time to shitpost
some dank memes right about now,
keep the thread alive.

 

[pandascepter]

@pandascepter It's time to shitpost some dank memes right about now, keep the thread alive.

@hazzack stole the meme stash

 

[hazzack]

@hazzack stole the meme stash

dont blame me over your incompetence

 

[pandascepter]

dont blame me over your incompetence

 

[Angry_Panda]

Duck takes no lip (duck has no lips, either).

 

[pandascepter]

I hardly know a man, but a duck.

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

hes brother of sterben. a sister to sterven

old man sterben: "sterven? that's a name i haven't heard in a long time..."

 

[pandascepter]

i clutch my tummy and wince in pain, both from EOTFOFYL's kick and the shame from my abysmal haiku. could this be it for me? my body and spirit have never been pushed this far before; in fact, i've lived a relatively comfortable life up until now. but here, in EOTFOFYL's domain, the situation looks as grim as my 13th birthday party.

the camera repeatedly swaps through three different angles as i slowly rise to my feet and steady my resolve. EOTFOFYL stares me down, surely repulsed by the abomination of a haiku i just uttered. i reach into my burgundy gradient satchel and clutch my 270mm COWGIRL FIGURINE FROM GOBLIN SLAYER to ease my nerves. the camera pans to EOTFOFYL, then back to me, then to @EOTFOFYL again — but now zoomed in 1.2x, and his brow is slightly furrowed. the camera pans to me once more. i wait for it to pan back to EOTFOFYL, but to no avail — the cameraman must be waiting on me to actually do something. i sigh deeply. it seems i have no choice but to use that secret ability given to me by that person at that time. i clasp my hands together and close my eyes...

a text box appears on the screen that reads (THREE YEARS AGO)

SCENE: sterben (known at the time as @sterven) and i are seated at a table in a ritzy tavern, chatting about our most recent defaultbro hunt. 'they' (idk who) say that over 70 percent of communication is nonverbal. while i can't say (pun) how true that is for others, it certainly fits @sterven and i to a tee; we sit in silence and stare deeply into each other's eyes, not even pausing for a blink break. aside from a few grunts of affirmation here and there, the only sound in the room is the squeaking of @sterven's chair as he leans back on it (and it's getting really annoying at this point. he's been incessently squeaking that chair for 2 hours now and i bet it's left a serious mark on the floor).

just as i reach inside my burgundy gradient satchel (a different one this time. the gradient is less pronounced, and there's a pin on the side depicting a pixel art rendition of Higuruma Hiromi from Jujutsu Kaisen. and yeah, he hadn't appeared in the manga yet — the pin was still there) and whip out BORUTO: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS – VOLUME 10: THE NEW TEAM SEVEN, @sterven dramatically turns his head, and by extension, his [stervGAZE], 35 degrees to his left.

a gust of wind suddenly hits me from behind, almost knocking the socks off my head. an animal with spotless white fur slaps its feet on the table and starts yapping. "QUACK," it articulates, with its caps lock on. @sterven and i are intellectually stunned for a moment, but then laugh. "QUACK. QUACK." the majestic beast continues, as it waddles towards my BORUTO: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS – VOLUME 10: THE NEW TEAM SEVEN and nonchalantly ignites it with a pocket lighter. @sterv and i continue to laugh.

THE SCENE RETURNS TO THE PRESENT DAY (not like christmas presents)

"why am i recalling this now?" i think and say aloud at the same time. EOTFOFYL furrows his brow even more — his eyebrows have now reached below his eyes and sort of look like war paint. he opens his mouth to begin his finishing haiku, but is stopped by the shattering of his domain! a pair of pedicured webbed feet blast through the domain's ceiling. it's @hazzack, here to save the day!

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK
QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK
QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK

EOTFOFYL's domain completely shatters — not only due to hazzquack's kung fu kick, however. written all over EOTFOFYL's face is the fact that the haiku has reached his soul. EOTFOFYL sits on the ground, questioning his actions — his internal monologue undoubtebly in the form of a haiku since he never breaks character.

finally, EOTFOFYL stand ups and faces me. does he want to fight alongside sterb and i in our plight against the titless kingdom?

i roll for int to determine my words to him — to the man i formerly called haikubro.

You rolled 18.

@hazzack hold you down and told you to calm down, because @EOTFOFYL was actually not after the revenge when you left him behind, but someone is actually controlling him right now. That's what you heard through all the QUACK QUACK. You still not believing what hazzack says and try to talk to him with haiku.

Do you remember
The day I met you at dex?
It was glorious!

You told him with vigor, yet come to no avail. EOTFOFYL is in agony, he's acting strange and suddenly he's screaming in pain, his hands on the ear trying to block something from his mind. Those 10 seconds of screaming feels like forever and he's standing still menancingly; you want to try to help him, but hazzack holding you to not come near him and (help @sterben instead) "QUACK QUACK". "QUACK QUACK" hazzack says heal sterben's leg. You realize you cannot win this even with the help of hazzack, you heal sterben leg asap and tell him to use his [stervGAZE] to @Fishman and EOTFOFYLl\ because you have some backup plan in the stash.

a text box appears on the screen that reads (4 YEARS AGO)

"j[redacted], how are you so good on baiting these people to shitpost?" you asked him; then he showed you the 270MM Cowgirl figurine without saying a word about it. He handed the figurine then when it touched you, you got a sudden rush with all of these big tiddies figurine and voices. "It's all from the source you can believe both ass and tiddies" H[redacted] says, "If you read prison school you will know it" s[says], "wheeeeezzeeeeee" p[redacted] dying. "I don't know man, I think you can't beat tank with tiddies" R[redacted]. You come to concious to be left alone with the figurine. "All this time, the power of HUMANITY LIES IN THIS........".

Transition to the present (as in time not a gift)
You tell the plan to hazzack and sterben on how to help EOTFOFYL and Fishman to continue the journey to defeat the titless kingdom.

EOTFOFYL suddenly moves towards you guys with red eyes and screaming trying to kill the three of you. hazzack tries to hold EOTFOFYL and do the plan and streben's leg is healed and continue to hold Fishman, both are working together to hold back them as you're trying to use the hidden power behind the 270 MM Cowgirl figurine.

 

[OisE]

hidden power behind the 270 MM Cowgirl figurine.

Is that a gun???

 

[EOTFOFYL]

Is that a gun???

 

[Remocracy]

Mfw no girlfriend who makes boob missles

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

@pandascepter
who are the redacted people? asking for a friend who doesn't remember. totally not me tho, i remember

 

[OisE]

old age's bad for memory 👴

 

[hazzack]

Is that a gun???

no, it's