Shouwaru Tensai Osananajimi to no Shoubu ni Makete Hatsutaiken o Zenbu Ubawareru Hanashi - Ch. 2.2

[MangaDex]

 

[Donatelo_2]

It's up to you to help me correct my translation. If anyone wants to help me, I'm very grateful, if not, that's fine.

 

[deathpigeon]

How long will it take her to realize this isn't her being competitive and visiting consequences upon her but just, like, her creating an excuse to do the things she always wanted to do with her?

 

[shemper]

Thank you for your work!

 

[mugimugi]

I like what I see

 

[himesaminako]

It's up to you to help me correct my translation. If anyone wants to help me, I'm very grateful, if not, that's fine.

tbh, i read your warning on the first page, and then i finished the chapter and forgot entirely that you said it was done with MTL. I didn't notice anything, you did fine haha


oh, i have to edit this post for posterity:

"I'm a shitty translator, but it's not my job to do better, it's yours". Yeah sure.

You know there's better out there, but you keep on ruining this for some unknown reason (probably bc some ppl suck your dick).

Since you insist on shitting all over the place and people seem to be delighted to eat it, I give up.

I'll post this series only on Dynasty. Call me an elitist if you want, but they at least have standards and don't allow MTL on their site.

I'll delete my chapters from here. MTL enjoyers can have their meal since they don't care about a better version and prefer to suck MTL diarrhea out of Bakwan's asshole.

So entitled lmfao! Translate whatever you want, upload it wherever you want. I literally do not give two shits what you do. No one is begging for your TLs despite what you might be delusionally thinking

Man just wanted to use MTL to try and contribute to the effort, and it was passable. but then YOU come in and go "you're not doing a perfect translation without the use of modern tools? You're ruining everything, my scans are too complicated for the masses here!" Like LMAO! I'm not going to Dynasty to read your chapters because you're having a fit over people finding a MTL scanlation acceptable

Yeah, I'm "eating that shit up". At least this guy with the MTL scanlation isn't going to other people literally calling them dumb saying their chapter has "too many complicated words" and saying people suck other people's dicks. You're actually out of control, you have way too high an ego for what is a community effort. I'm actively avoiding your scans now, I don't care how good quality they are, you're just a straight up dick

 

[BlackElite]

How long will it take her to realize this isn't her being competitive and visiting consequences upon her but just, like, her creating an excuse to do the things she always wanted to do with her?

Well, we need clearer context on what makes the smol kid detests the perfect kid during Junior High. It is implied that it involves toying with human emotions... But not clear enough on the details

 

[Kirin-kun]

"I'm a shitty translator, but it's not my job to do better, it's yours". Yeah sure.

You know there's better out there, but you keep on ruining this for some unknown reason (probably bc some ppl suck your dick).

Since you insist on shitting all over the place and people seem to be delighted to eat it, I give up.

I'll post this series only on Dynasty. Call me an elitist if you want, but they at least have standards and don't allow MTL on their site.

I'll delete my chapters from here. MTL enjoyers can have their meal since they don't care about a better version and prefer to suck MTL diarrhea out of Bakwan's asshole.

 

[superalv123]

I'll post this series only on Dynasty. Call me an elitist if you want, but they at least have standards and don't allow MTL on their site.

I'll delete my chapters from here. MTL enjoyers can have their meal since they don't care about a better version and prefer to suck Bakwan's asshole because he has MTL diarrhea.

Without reading the comments, how would new readers from mangadex know that a better translation exists if only one group is being shown translating the series? Unless they already know about Dynasty, removing the chapters just leaves no indication that a non MTL translation even exists.

 

[saveme]

This manga is a huge edging session

 

[shin66]

"I'm a shitty translator, but it's not my job to do better, it's yours". Yeah sure.

You know there's better out there, but you keep on ruining this for some unknown reason (probably bc some ppl suck your dick).

Since you insist on shitting all over the place and people seem to be delighted to eat it, I give up.

I'll post this series only on Dynasty. Call me an elitist if you want, but they at least have standards and don't allow MTL on their site.

I'll delete my chapters from here. MTL enjoyers can have their meal since they don't care about a better version and prefer to suck MTL diarrhea out of Bakwan's asshole.

You can say things in a more gentle and civilized way tbh, you're just being a massive d*ckhead and an edgelord.

 

[erellisae]

It's up to you to help me correct my translation. If anyone wants to help me, I'm very grateful, if not, that's fine.

Okay, I'll bite. I've done some proofreading before. Let's do it! Note: I do not have the raws and I don't know enough kanji to cover translation issues, so this will be limited to the English and technical side of things.

SPECIFIC PASS

P3.1 - 'so I sure' -> 'so I'm sure'
P3.3 - 'drinks it...' -> 'drink it.' Verb aside, trailing off with an ellipsis sounds strange here. Maybe 'it's yours' because that's the point of the exchange.
P4.1 - 'Of course, it is' -> 'of course it is'. You generally only pause after 'of course' if you've got a lot more to say than 'it is', so it feels odd to have a comma here.
P4.2 - 'drink it gratefully' -> overly literal translation that sounds very strange in English. Maybe 'drink up' except she already said that. If it's supposed to be her grumping, maybe 'you could at least say thank you' or something like that? Either way, it stands out.
P8.1 - 'then try this one' -> 'then have some from the glass' or similar. The point is she's handing the (cold) glass over. On its own 'try this one' sounds like she's got a second drink from somewhere.
P8.4 - 'cola and oolong tea, among others' -> 'among others' is a bit stiff here. It's... strictly correct English? But it's not something I would really expect to hear anyone younger than 40 say, let alone about their kareoke bar drink mix. It stands out. 'among other things' would flow a little better while still keeping it rich-girl posh.
P8.5 - 'even if something is perfect on its own, mixing it makes it awful' -> The 'even if' feels a bit wrong here. In English, 'even if' is generally used to make conditionals stronger: 'even if something is perfect on its own, doing Y makes it even more perfect', but she's going for the opposite and pushing back against the conditional. It feels like she's trying to stress that difference instead - something like 'even something perfect can turn awful if you mix it with other things' feels like it's more in line with the intent of the speech, perhaps.
P9.1 - 'enjoying a perfectly crafted flavor as it is should be the best' - 'should be the best' could use a rewording here. It feels stilted - the best to whom? - and a bit too literal. (Also very dismissive! But hey, she's a kid.)
P9.2 + P9.3 - 'but maybe...' twice in two panels feels overly stiff. Cut one out, maybe, or reword.
P10 - 'weird taste' -> too stiff on its own. 'what a weird taste' or even just 'yuck... weird' would flow better.

GENERAL PASS

P1 - Context issues. This page would be a lot more palatable if you mentioned why you're doing this. Is it because you love the series or the author? Do you have their other works to recommend? Are you trying to learn Japanese off the back of MTL? Those are all valid reasons to include that would really have helped!

The problem with this page as-is is that you don't include that information but you also clearly expect and reference the fact that a 'better translation' will be along 'in hours', which begs the question of why you're doing this. Without any other background as to why you're choosing to release an MTL so quickly despite a 'real' group covering the series, you come off as someone who is clout-chasing - rushing a translation up in order to get the most mangadex comments and notoriety off of it. A legit translator will be along to cover for your mistakes! It's just a prank, bro! (In fact, it turns out, they won't. Because why go to the effort?)

Alternatively, just don't include the page, or just have a page saying it's MTL and leave it at that. I bet most people click straight past it either way. But leaving it in with a weird excuse is probably the worst of both worlds because it stands out.

(Before anyone complains, a good proofreading covers the notes page too.)

P3.1 - Whitespace in text bubbles and narration. The 'It's' on a bubble all by itself looks very strange and breaks the flow of reading, and could really use a redraw and moving the text all into one block. This is the worst-looking example but there's a lot of points throughout the chapter where the text's absolutely tiny and there's a huge amount of whitespace left over. Some of it could maybe use a font size bump - it's pretty small on my laptop, let alone my phone.

Similarly, the black boxes aren't completely black, you can see the japanese in grey behind them. I don't really care personally but they could be touched up.

P5.1 + P5.4 / P8.1 vs. P8.4 - Punctuation issues. You're pretty inconsistent about whether a line ends with a period or not, and these are the panels where I started to really notice it. It's jarring, and when most panels do have punctuation it leaves me feeling like something got missed in editing when they're not there. (I'm not counting tiny text outside of speech bubbles - that can be a stylistic choice to leave a period off - but imo major speech bubbles and narration should be consistent.)

P9 + P11 - Context issues? I feel like something got lost in translation here. P9 discusses Komaki's feelings, and how maybe she wants to not actually be perfect after all. P11 is about Wakaba wanting to deny 'the feelings Komaki harbours' and drag her down from being perfect. But if Komaki's already thinking about not being perfect herself, why deny that? You could chalk this up to yuri melodrama, sure, but I'm a bit suspicious about P11's first narration box. Realistically it'd need a look from someone with the actual raws.

There you go - for the record, this took about an hour and a half to write out and go through and get my words to turn out good. I've tried to keep my tone helpful and explain my reasoning throughout, hopefully it worked and I've made my points fairly clearly, but just to be blunt at the end: you're over 40 releases in. A lot of these problems (at the very least the simple grammar mistakes) really shouldn't be cropping up still. If you're in so much of a hurry that you can't spare an hour and a half to get someone to look over it on Discord then it really comes back to the question: why not? Why is it so important to heave up as quickly as possible?

Without reading the comments, how would new readers from mangadex know that a better translation exists if only one group is being shown translating the series? Unless they already know about Dynasty, removing the chapters just leaves no indication that a non MTL translation even exists.

Keeping their scans up is not a moral obligation. That's the trade-off of a hands-off curation policy - people will walk as the bottom of the barrel gets scraped.

 

[Kirin-kun]

I take it as a personal insult when someone massacres a good yuri work with MTL and bad English, even more so when I'm translating it myself, but they just so happen to be in a closer timezone when the raws are released and they hurry to release it.

They have been at it on other series for months and yet didn't improve in the slightest. Still bad translation and bad English. Didn't fix any mistakes either. So I respond in kind by insulting them.

I've no obligation to provide a better alternative here.

People made their bed and will have to lie on it.

​

 

[sikachu]

Congratulations on winning the speed scan award. The prize is … nothing!

I am honestly getting a second hand embarrassment seeing people saying “thank you for your hard work” though. Really can’t believe someone would be able to accept the gratitude when the work is rushed out just to win … like there is no love or passion to the thing that they release at all.

It’s pretty amazing, honestly.

 

[MarcEvans]

Feel however you want about their attitude, but it's actually embarrassing that people are defending a bad MTL with grammar mistakes. I think it was fine when no one was properly translating this, but the moment a better translation came around, they should have just dropped it. They're speed releasing chapters and asking others to fix mistakes for them. That's unacceptable.

I take it as a personal insult when someone massacres a good yuri work with MTL and bad English, even more so when I'm translating it myself, but they just so happen to be in a closer timezone when the raws are released and they hurry to release it.

They have been at it on other series for months and yet didn't improve in the slightest. Still bad translation and bad English. Didn't fix any mistakes either. So I respond in kind by insulting them.

I've no obligation to provide a better alternative here.

People made their bed and will have to lie on it.

​

I don't really have any problem with reading this on Dynasty, but I think it's a mistake not having your translations on Mangadex. I at least want more people to discover that there's a better translation out there. Like you said, you have no obligation to do that, but there are people here who appreciate proper translations and not MTL slop.

 

[blank-dot]

At least they get the due dates in time I’m glad unlike OTHER mangas

 

[SrNevik]

Without reading the comments, how would new readers from mangadex know that a better translation exists if only one group is being shown translating the series? Unless they already know about Dynasty, removing the chapters just leaves no indication that a non MTL translation even exists.

They're not thinking about that. They're just sensitive and dramatic. Don't expect logic over vindictiveness. All of this stuff is very childish, but that's how the space has always been anyway. Either way, at least the choice is still there for viewers (speed/quality) so nothing much changes. If anything this will hopefully prevent the redundant arguments and rudeness in the comments.

 

[Aldez]

Woi, kerjaan lu kringe banget banyak salah dan gak enak di baca.

Halaman pertama aja udah:
" I sure..."
"Drinks it."

MACAM MANA?? LU MAU PANSOS?!!

KALO GAK BECUS YA JANGAN DIERJAIN!
LANGSUNG AJA KERJAIN KE BHS SENDIRI APA SUSAHNYA SIH!

Giliran ada scan mumpuni mau ngerjain udah kesalip sama kebodohan dan keegoisan lo, tau!
Gimana dia gak kesel.

IQ orang kita emang ya, luar binasa

 

[NinjaGoemon]

People made their bed and will have to lie on it.

I love being punished for things that aren't my fault

 

[Trevoga]

I love giving people benefit of doubt in good faith and getting shit for it.

I've no obligation to provide a better alternative here.

Fair, but you could prove your point through action. Most readers don't check comments, plenty probably won't even notice that your version is gone from MD. If they had the alternative that the oh so lovely Bakwan mentions, plenty of them would notice the difference. I guess we should thank you for not dropping the series entirely, and for not pressing the big red button and deleting all your stuff from here, but it will sound shallow coming from me, considering how I've given you shit before.

It's up to you to help me correct my translation. If anyone wants to help me, I'm very grateful, if not, that's fine.

Okay, I'm two steps from being convinced you're just trolling.