Group Leader
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2018
- Messages
- 894
@Zinon
i'm not saying she should be an expert... but if you watch a lot of detective TV series and one day you find a gun in real life, you would recognise it... you wouldn't go "Duh, I wonder what this is".
And if someone is pointing said gun at you, you would freak out because someone is trying to murder you, you wouldn't go "Duh, I wonder what he's doing".
About his attitude, yeah, you might be right... he might actually just be an ungrateful narcissistic rotten useless brat, but then, if that's the case, then maybe he deserved the curse and his parents attitude? It's not like he doesn't know how it feels to be treated like you're nothing, so that means he's actually conscious that his actions are bad.
It's like when a bully gets punched in the face, he might have a crappy private life, but he still deserves the punch.
Now, believe it or not, you actually can write a story that flows naturally and doesn't need extreme conveniences to get forward. Even story with magic in it.
For exemple:
Concerning his growth, sorry, that might have been a bit spoilery from my part. I've read in the comments that a time skip was coming, so I checked the raws... I can't actually access the full chapters on Kakaopage, but you can see 1 image per chapter. Here's chapter's 26:
He's clearly bigger than her...
@Maleeha
Soooooo... what's the point of your comment then?
I'm just expressing my disappointment of something I liked, isn't that the point of a comment section?
And the "It's just magic, don't worry about it" is actually the argument that people usually use to explain bad writing...
Soooooo... Maybe ya need to relax. Or just don't read my comments without throwing a ranty fit smh 😦
Just click on my name, then click on the big red button marked "Block User", and you're done!
i'm not saying she should be an expert... but if you watch a lot of detective TV series and one day you find a gun in real life, you would recognise it... you wouldn't go "Duh, I wonder what this is".
And if someone is pointing said gun at you, you would freak out because someone is trying to murder you, you wouldn't go "Duh, I wonder what he's doing".
About his attitude, yeah, you might be right... he might actually just be an ungrateful narcissistic rotten useless brat, but then, if that's the case, then maybe he deserved the curse and his parents attitude? It's not like he doesn't know how it feels to be treated like you're nothing, so that means he's actually conscious that his actions are bad.
It's like when a bully gets punched in the face, he might have a crappy private life, but he still deserves the punch.
Now, believe it or not, you actually can write a story that flows naturally and doesn't need extreme conveniences to get forward. Even story with magic in it.
For exemple:
There, I made it better. Il would take like 1 or 2 more chapters to make this happen, and that would fix the pacing of this chapter, that was completely crap.Maybe you let them be pissed off at each other for a while, with her ignoring him to make him learn his lesson, maybe taking a short vacation
Now, make him desperately try to meet her to apologise. Maybe, because of the constant stress and physical exhaustion, his condition progressively starts to worsen. After like two days, he tries to leave the mansion to find her, gets caught in the rain before being able to leave the premises, and gets comatose with brief periods of consciousness where he's clearly delirious.
Now, she learns of it and feels immense guilt for subjecting him to this. While on his bedside, he "wakes up" delirious and thinks she's a vision. He then apologises to her for his attitude with tears in his eyes asking her to not leave him all alone again.
She then cries her eyes out too, prays for help and tries to bargain with an invisible god. She kisses him on the forehead and light starts to shine from her kiss. The light progressively covers his face, pushing the cursed text away from his face, then neck, then body and all the text gets pilled on the hand she's holding. The light finishes covering his whole body, then stops.
He wakes up and is cured.
She's incredulous. This was supposed to happen years later with the actual heroine! Maybe she's changing the story way more that she thought. Maybe the Master's jealousy is due to actual love, and not a motherly feeling like she thought. She then thinks "Nah, I'm just a maid. He never had a real mother figure, that's all I am to him, and that's all I should be... Maybe God actually heard my prayers".
He wakes up, perfectly fine, smiles at her and thanks her for saving his life. He takes her hands, writes the words "I love you" on her palm and smiles again. She tilts her head and asks what was that gesture.
He actually understands that maybe she can't read, remarks it and makes the joke that she's ruining the moment. He then exults a pristine, beautiful but almost childish laugh, approaches her and kisses he on the cheek.
Concerning his growth, sorry, that might have been a bit spoilery from my part. I've read in the comments that a time skip was coming, so I checked the raws... I can't actually access the full chapters on Kakaopage, but you can see 1 image per chapter. Here's chapter's 26:
He's clearly bigger than her...
@Maleeha
Soooooo... what's the point of your comment then?
I'm just expressing my disappointment of something I liked, isn't that the point of a comment section?
And the "It's just magic, don't worry about it" is actually the argument that people usually use to explain bad writing...
Soooooo... Maybe ya need to relax. Or just don't read my comments without throwing a ranty fit smh 😦
Just click on my name, then click on the big red button marked "Block User", and you're done!