Jesus Christ, I just read the first chapter and that was grim as fuck. This guy is trying everything out? I mean, going out by a gun definitely seems like a good idea by me; high chance of succeeding and supposedly painless. And by the age you're able to own a firearm, you'd probably had enough time to push loved ones away from you, so they wouldn't be too hurt from your death.
Honestly, I cannot imagine having to go through the pain from all those attempts. I find it to be better to have a plan rather than just free-styling it.