Tell us, what's bothering you ?

Dex-chan lover
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
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Wanted to buy an anime (Gonna be the twin-tails!) then I realized, it's literally 22 - 29$ and I am too broke for it.
Might have to wait a whole month or two to afford it with my current situation.
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Dex-chan lover
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
1,297
Forgot to mention since last "Vent" post, the guy has finally moved out, well he's now staying with my cousin cause he's taking advantage of them, and my grandparents.

But, now we have the whole house to ourselves + my brother is about to get his driver's license. Stuff is turning out better! Still sick and getting worse by the day but I still hope to get better soon.

Though, sadly, the guy is still trying to commit criminal actions by breaking into our wifi/spectrum account, attempted to change our password to it, has a picture of my Mom's ID so he tried to break into another one of our accounts to commit "Fraud/Identity Theft"

Remember, always try to see how's your partner in life and try not to be blinded by manipulation or dumb-mindedness. This situation is actually stupid, he is even using my sister's old phone to message my mom(a phone he removed the password lock off somehow) to prove he is superior and saying his actions. Outright horrible but yeah, be careful out there with people!
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
May 18, 2019
Messages
3,732
just use sadpanda
Different sites with different purposes. You aren't finding loose pictures reuploaded from pixiv of artists with only 2-3 pictures on e-hentai.

Also taggers on e-hentai are a retarded bunch. Tags on booru sites in general are much more robust and detailed (if the dumb cunts running the site actually tag them, yes I'm looking at you sankakucom).

Speaking of sankakucom, that site has gone to shit a few years ago, but a few months ago, it became absolute unsalvageable dog shit. The mods pretty much came out and said "haha you use an adblocker? fuck you, pay to use this shitty site". Also I fucking loathe how much machine generated shit is on there.

These days I just run my bot to automatically get stuff from pixiv and chemotherapy, and maybe check e-hentai out from time to time.
 
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Dex-chan lover
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May 18, 2019
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3,732
I got a 10% pay dock because company is not doing very well. What bothers me is I actually don't care that much. What bothers me more is my coworker bitching nonstop every time he got a less than stellar evaluation. Like bro shut the fuck up, even after the pay dock, we still earn more than 95% people our age.
 
Group Leader
Joined
Jul 15, 2019
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6,551
I got a 10% pay dock because company is not doing very well. What bothers me is I actually don't care that much. What bothers me more is my coworker bitching nonstop every time he got a less than stellar evaluation. Like bro shut the fuck up, even after the pay dock, we still earn more than 95% people our age.
Bro, please hire me as your maid. So I can bitch slap that guy.
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
Feb 16, 2023
Messages
275
I'M BACK! Not in a happy go lucky mood either sadly... So... What was it, 1 year, 2 years ago? I got this computer I'm writing on this forum with. It is the best computer i have ever owned. I used to have this alienware laptop, missing a fan, rattled like a helicopter, and couldn't play anything else but WOW Classic toward the end.
This of course, was... Well, I have a youtube channel, a very small one. Me and my bros started it 6 years ago, but... they sort of left 3 years ago, and it's just been me. I've always approached it as a storage place, didn't really care for views, because back then I hardly got any. But, it started to pick up lightly the last year, 10 views, a hundred, here and there, in waves, the usual ebb and flow of the algorithm. I danced between 1,078-1,080 for all that time...
I've been making videos, rendering, editing all by myself. But, i know why that laptop broke down. And I'm looking at the best PC I've ever had, a Desktop with... EVERYTHING I could've asked for... And now...
Okay, onto the Desktop, this is the second time, the CPU Overheated and it wouldn't turn back on. So I waited... I know this is dangerous, if it keeps overheating like this, no matter what the thermal paste does, it'll cause far more damage... And i've been riding this computer harder than normal. I've been feeling good, rendering more, uploading more, recording more... But, that means more strain.
Knowing little old me, the weird, awkward, introverted thing that I am, I haven't asked for much in life. I literally got this computer because my family knew I had been stuck with a dying laptop for years while they got better. A family member even broke a computer in anger once, while I still had the dying laptop. I just... Don't like to impede, even though sometimes I should. Furthermore, I see, way more than they think. So I know, I can't just get the Tesla of Computers.
So as I was sitting there for a half-hour, praying to God for my computer to turn back on so I could at least get my writing documents. I realized I have two choices. Keep making videos for a dead channel and Kill the greatest material gift I have ever received? Or... Stop... Stop making videos, realize youtube isn't... my place... Focus on writing...
You see, I'm not very good with giving up, or abandoning anything. I've been taught all my life to hold on, keep trying. And this year began... With one of the best weeks in years. I wrote... AMAZINGLY! I know it was... simple stuff sort of, but it felt so good, getting so much done, and it being good to me, me feeling the emotions everything. But, the thing was... I was away from Youtube... Gaming... The happiest I've been in a long time... was not with this thing me and my bros started together...
I've held onto this channel, because me and my brothers promised to do it together. I suppose I've always felt that if... I keep going, I don't know... We never gave up... I've always hoped some... boost in views would come, and IDK, people would start enjoying soulless no commentary videos. That there'd be some worth. That, this dream us three had... would... amount to something.
I know they've moved on, they're happier, one's pursuing esports, has his own channel, the other enjoys his work... I know I enjoy my writing. But... The fact that the channel is... now killing what I enjoy, even though I enjoy it... I can lie up to my ears saying I just did it as a storage place, but when I see 100, 170 views on a video, my face lights up and I feel better, I write better... Even if there isn't a comment. And usually there's never a comment at all. It's made me happy, it's something... Precious... I know they're just passersby but, it feels good, because it means that, sticking it through all this time meant something for a moment of someone's time.
But, the Ebb... The Flow... Trust me, I cried so long and hard in silence for half an hour I was aching all over because I didn't know what to do. One side of me, sees what the channel does to me, knows that I was happy for a week, not even glaring at it. The other keeps saying "Maybe tomorrow, Maybe tomorrow, Maybe tomorrow! Don't give up, you don't give up!"
I know I have the easiest life in the world, many have completely and clearly emphasized that, and even shot down and laughed at my tiny qualms. I know I can't be perfect, I know I might just have to choose one or the other... But, everyone makes it sound easy, I know that's over-said but, it's true.
Each video may be simple, without a word, but it's... Like a my writing... I love it... it's a piece of my life, this channel is a quarter of my life.
I know we'll just throw on some Thermal Paste and call it that but... The tunnel of sorts is getting narrower, I can't make better things on youtube anymore, and If I wanted to... I know "You'll have to make sacrifices, but it's worth it, if you think it is, because if you think it is, nothing can stop you." I know, and I loved hearing that today from a certain video...
But, this sacrifice is... like a CHILD to me...
It feels like... Like a couple years ago, ten actually, we had three dogs, I loved them so much... But, it was... the hardest point of our lives. We had to go to pantries, it was winter, the power would go out sometimes. We couldn't keep them.... So... my parents had to...... you know, take them to the pound or something, I never knew... Because... It was getting to the point we couldn't afford their food and our own... I remember waking up the next day and they being gone... the hallway, under the bed, on the bed. Empty, without their sounds... I remember one, we had when he was a baby, I was up late at night with him, bottle feeding him and... I would've given them my food...
I know these are videos, which have never really made a mark, it's a channel which thrived on minecraft vids and streams one of my brothers made... I know that's why he left because, my vids quantity hurt his quality... But, the thing is... Unlike those three dogs, who went someplace where they have food, and have big yards, good toys... The Channel will just... Die... There will be nothing gained from all that time. No matter how much I loved it, nothing... Even my writing was deeper...
I know "Just leave it", but I sorta see it like in those stupid cartoons, some small thing in a box, in some alley, rainfalling, and it holding up some cup.... I know, cheesy, but... There is no out of that alley. And i'm stuck up top a roof looking down at that box, and I can't go down, and it can't climb, because it was on my back all these years... And...
I know we can't be perfect, I know we have to make sacrifices. EVERYONE SAYS IT SO EASILY, EVEN IF THEY DON'T Mean it so... They shouldn't say it like it's something simple... They shouldn't force that thought, they shouldn't... I know... "What? You want lies?" "You want to be told it could make it when it hasn't DONE ANYTHING But, cost you time and money and life?" I know all that but... THIS is... NOT AS EASY AS YOU THINK... Yeah, I know I'm spoiled, I know I take "ADVANTAGE" Of things, I know I like...
I like to be hopeful... There's always a way in my head... If I keep believing... But, if I forsake this, that breaks, but if I don't... everything breaks...
I know there's no easy answer, my family doesn't have the money, and no one will miss what I have... I just... Want to hug it... I know "It's a channel, it's games that aren't even yours."I know! But, it was all... Special to me... Those memories, those moments... I want to hold it close, and tell it "It made a difference in my life" because it did. Because it made me happy... Because, it captured those moments where, I would... be away from pain... from... everything... and just... be a child and play... I know I have my writing for that, but even when I had to stop playing when I was... 14 (I know, childish was I) because... We weren't playing even then I had writing, and even then that was... Painful...
It doesn't feel good... And I know everyone says "Move on"... But, this was a baby of mine, and... I wanted to carry it forever... even if it never amounted to anything...Because it was special to me...
And I'm not like "Oh, I just got to feel the pain, let myself cry, it's okay.", I'm... I've always been like... "There's another way" So when there isn't...
Trapped... But... I'll be okay... It'll always be there... I have my writing, and it's darn good... But, this is like... the last... vestige of true togetherness in creation... "Everyone Grows up", Screw that, I've heard it all the time, like it's some good thing... I know they don't mean it that way, but they can at least be there and not guilt trip me into silence and tell me that... It wasn't my fault, or... Something...
And worst of all that makes them sound bad, when, they're the true importance in my life... So many things... So many things...
But, it will be worth it, right? Holding onto my writing? I always say it will... This isn't an end it's just... A pause... and maybe I will come back. Even if there still isn't anyone there. Just feels wrong, just feels bad... And it's hard when all you have is some Forum you've said too much in, a Pillow, and God...
Losing is a part of life, but it... Okay, I'm going to say it... "It straight up fucking sucks! after all this time..." hooo
Okay... Sorry.... Everyone jokes and stuff, but, I unload my baggage like a dumpster XD. Sorry.... No I won't say any name regarding the channel, if something happens, some miracle, something... if it is doesn't... Well...
I still have my writing! here's your proud dude who "Never gives up" having to let go of one more thing...

And I do feel strangely better now that I've said all i've needed to... My legs are aching though, oddly enough. And now I kind of feel bad, since this forum doesn't have like a expand or shrink thing... Heh... And for all my hopes and brags about my writing, I've written like a Drunk Man on Meth, Heh... Just so many doors are closing, and you love everything on the other side... But, it's like... i don't know... you can't have it all... And you don't want to here that, even if it isn't true, for a moment you want to hear "Tomorrow, you'll have it." Even if it is a lie... You just want to hear something hopeful, some beautiful lie... Something good...
Thanks for your time, sorry for cluttering this forum with this monstrosity and all my other woes... Heh, If I make it somewhere, and get rich or something, I'll give the site owners enough money to build in a shrink and expand thing to the forums XD.
 
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Group Leader
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Apr 20, 2019
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Youtube has been acting really weird and annoying to me these last few days.
  • YT video autoplays when I click on a thread. If a page has someone posting a video, or even if it's being quoted, the video will play automatically and I have to manually stop it.
  • This even happens on the forum front page, if someone posts a video on their status.
  • Sometimes, on the YT front page, when I hover my mouse on to a video or a short, it will open as if I clicked on it.
  • Sometimes, even after I go back to the front page or the uploader's channel, the video's audio can still be heard, as if the video is still playing, but it's not showing.
  • Yesterday it had some sort of weird glitch that makes the video not displayed in correct size.
The hell are they smoking over there at Youtube HQ?
And OMG I still don't have time to post and upload what I want to.
58.gif
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
May 16, 2019
Messages
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Those kungflu and neetdom years made me so fat dumb and weak. Working a physical and challenging job, I struggle to keep up. I think they only keep me around because I'm pleasant and the hope I get my shit together, but who knows for how long that'll last. I wanna get better, but feels like my motivation and attention span are fucking dead.
 
Dex-chan lover
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Mar 5, 2019
Messages
3,889
The email I used to create this account years ago? I forgot the password to it way back then, and at this rate I'll never remember it. I can still log into Mangadex no problem, but it's depressing dwelling on how much I've lost in the digital realm due to my bad habit of never writing down my passwords.

I can't even log into my childhood Roblox account.
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
May 18, 2019
Messages
3,732
The email I used to create this account years ago? I forgot the password to it way back then, and at this rate I'll never remember it. I can still log into Mangadex no problem, but it's depressing dwelling on how much I've lost in the digital realm due to my bad habit of never writing down my passwords.

I can't even log into my childhood Roblox account.
Download data breach dumps and check if your password was leaked. Free password recovery :thumbsup:
 
Dex-chan lover
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May 18, 2019
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sometimes I've got this urge to get some good whisky and just spend a friday night drinking away while listening to music like I used to. but damn my liver hates it and I don't want to relapse. nothing a quick wank can't solve tbh.
 
Dex-chan lover
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Mar 5, 2019
Messages
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Download data breach dumps and check if your password was leaked. Free password recovery :thumbsup:
On the one hand, if there's a way to skim through a list of gmail accounts and find my old one, or even that roblox account, and find the password, I'd do it, but on the other hand I don't wanna end up on a watch list lol
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
May 18, 2019
Messages
3,732
On the one hand, if there's a way to skim through a list of gmail accounts and find my old one, or even that roblox account, and find the password, I'd do it, but on the other hand I don't wanna end up on a watch list lol
Downloading breach dumps is not illegal, though using the data for sussy purposes might put you in trouble. Though, the first step is the most difficult. It's very hard to find a free breach dump. Due to the nature of the data, it's often sold for dozens to hundreds of thousand k, sometimes into the millions. But look hard enough and you might find somewhere to get them for free.
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
Jan 25, 2023
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You think reddit belongs to the Israel Government? Massive sites with big data can only be funded by governments who controls all corporations. Do not even mention the maintenance of those server costs, even if they say they are cloud, which is not.
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
2,855
Please don't judge me but
Frog spawn look like chia seeds,
A good protien source.
 

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