The Flower Dances and the Wind Sings - Ch. 24

[Moth]

@uraumi You’ll be surprised. There’s a high chance that a married couple next to you suffer issues in the marriage due to ‘masculinity’ and communication problems.

An old next door couple (30+ years of marriage) I know very well just showed me that. It turns out all this time, the husband has always been resenting the facts that he is younger, less successful, less famous, and bring less money than his wife. He said that he has been very patient throughout the marriage and all this time he just swallowed his manly pride that was hurt. Indeed, his wife is very naggy, even down to small issues, but many of them also happened for a reason (from what I saw in front of me, it’s like lifestyle issues you know, like when the husband just put used clothes all over the floor, etc.). I’ve so far never seen the wife looking down on her husband due to his lower salary or something like that, but maybe because the husband ego hurt, he saw all this nagging as her looking down on him. So the husband is also often insensitive and said hurtful words towards his wife. It appears that he has this victim mentality due to his pride and ego being hurt because the wife is very successful and because of that, perhaps unconsciously he is always trying to say and do things that his wife hates. Whenever he told me something, he always had this mindset that he has sacrificed himself a lot, that he has been very patient. So he said, as his last effort to hold his pride, he wants to separate and graduate from marriage.

I actually wanted to say to him to feed his manly pride to a dog, because his pride can’t feed the family. I also wanted to ask him why did he marry his wife in the first place if his pride can’t take it to have a more successful and richer wife? I mean, she was already earning a lot and had such a successful career woman before he proposed to her. But I know his pride can’t take any criticism anymore. The situation is very toxic now and they keep fighting and hurting each other now (so yes, I honestly feel disturbed as their neighbor because they’re noisy) , it’s better that they separate. But this is kind of a lesson learned to girls out there, before you marry your boyfriend, ask them them if they will resent you if you are more successful and earns more than him. If his pride can’t take it, don’t marry him, it will give problems soon or later. I actually just did some research that the divorce rate is indeed increasing when the wife has higher salary than the husband.

 

[xcinsationalx]

This is a manhwa in which pretty much 90% of the problems could have been solved with better communication. But I guess if they actually did that then we wouldn't have a story.

Still, Harsen saying that all marriages political and without love, but surely both he and Ercella have seen Ercella's brother and his wife. They are both clearly happy and in love, so to go as far as to say everyone lives the way they do seems a bit much. Then again, I suppose Harsen doesn't spend much time with his brother-in-law since they're clearly at odds. I honestly felt sad when she said she could have loved him. Because that means that she didn't/does not. Whereas, at least in the beginning. Harsen did love her. If only he'd been straightforward enough to tell her that.

 

[Merpe12]

Spoiler

Yo novel readers hit me with a spoiler.
Do they get divorced?

Mod Note: Please use spoiler tags when talking about chapter-specific or future events.

 

[Borichi]

God she needs a hug...and a therapist 😭

 

[yesme89]

I'm glad i'm not a noble..can't ever show how i'm feeling is the worst

The crack is too deep..go ercella..i let you have your divorce..harsen needs time too to let his feeling flows

Both your time got frozen because those silly miscommunication..urghh..just rest a while and try to come back later

 

[thyraclyne]

This story is sooo frustrating. Sigh. I feel like i need to actually read it when its done so that i won't feel any hang ups. But i keep coming backs. I'm torturing myself here. Sigh

 

[Mezhlauk]

COMMUNICATE TOO YOU BASTARD

 

[kowoyoshi]

WOW the dad called it, Harsen married Ercella out of love(like I said this a ton of times before the flash back even happened) and Ercella always just thought of him as a status piece.................how is she any different than the duke's daugther? She didn't marry out of love but convenience and communication between the two well when one partner only see a business contract and a other is/was in love, what communication can change either's mind? this is going to take a lot of talking and mediating and Ercella who lived twice can't even recognize the issue at hand, plus F again as Vincette outside to hear the ENTIRE story and Harsen is right, "if you had issues with my raising, then you should've of been there" he's not wrong, good it's really bad for everyone involved.

 

[Randompasserby18]

Its just hurtful reading this story. Harsen was in love with ercella, but he never say it. And ercella always see harsen as nothing but a mere choice.

 

[aiebime]

@Merpe12

Spoiler

Yes they did

 

[ladylade]

Mom, come pick me up. I'm scared 😭
I can't find Mary Sue. Nope. Definently not here 😅

 

[Sumatose]

@forgetmenot

Spoiler

hell yea they do;; and they do snusnu. it's very happy and beautiful ending. to get there we're going to go through a wild ride

 

[hellomadie]

Ercella calling him her best option wasn't ever intended to be an insult laced with poison. Rather, she saw him the way she believed Harsen saw her: The best choice. There was a moment earlier where she was even crushing on him because she believed him to be different from other suitors. Which of course went downhill the moment someone made her doubt his feelings.
So it's not really shocking that whenever Ercella tried to reach out and was met with this cold persona at all times, she believed he didn't love her. Harsen needs to learn to communicate. He can't just say "I hate those words", be angry, and then proceed to Not explain why. Of course she would be confused!!!
I just want them to openly express their feelings PLEASE. They could have had a lovely relationship It's sad.

 

[XxNidhoggxX]

I normally don’t comment, but damn, this chapter man. Like, it’s a perfect depiction of a marriage, and how it can fall apart if both parties won’t communicate. Worst part is, Ercella saying “you were my best choice” wasn’t her saying he was just the best option for her family, but the best option for HER, because he was someone she thought she might be able to fall in love with, that also wasn’t a total slimeball—except while she thought he knew that, he interpreted her words very differently, which is all too human, and as heartbreaking as it is to read it is very realistic. To those in relationships, or who wish to be in relationships, carry this lesson with you. What you are hearing, and what they are saying, may not be the same thing. No matter how sure you are, no matter how intentional it may seem, talk with your partner if you are feeling hurt, neglected, or even just a bit needy. Words may not ever be enough to truly understand one another, but silence cannot and will not ever lead to understanding.

 

[Loev]

If y’all think she just seen him as her “best choice” the whole time then y’all needa reread chapter 18. She was starting to fall for him but that other guy told her that he was only proposing to avoid marrying some other princess so she believed she was being used!

 

[WenReads]

Honestly this is close (not exactly close but a window) to real marriages like her pregnancy that shit got real some woman go similar to this and go to a depressing state of mind

And communication sounds easy but as u can seen its not as simple as it sounds since it can lead to miss-communication and such

In which both need counseling

 

[Sootyxsnowpetal]

I'd like to point out that as bystanders we have a clearer picture of what's going on both sides, so we should have a little more grace and empathy for all parties here because everyone seems to be working with partial information. Of course communication issues are rampant here, but it takes time and active effort to try to figure out where those gaps are in order to even think about bridging them.

All parties are at fault, but no one is to blame. Sure, Ercella should have been a better mother. But she was still a teenager when she gave birth and all she knew were the limited things she knew as a young 16some year old girl. I'd even like to go so far as to say that she did a damn good job holding down the fort as a pregnant and alone teenager in a hostile situation. But still, the trauma and exhaustion that must have done to her left her emotionally incapable of handling them in the long term. It is PTSD and depression wrapped together and tied with a sparkling bow that is the nobility. These people can live entirely separate and busy lives because of how much they need to manage and the size of their households.

Ercella and Harsen weren't close to begin with. Even if they married, they were teenagers and taught to be duty bound, and entirely strangers to each other. If circumstances were even slightly different, there were signs shown to us that they could've fallen in love with each other and been happy. Mixed in with upright (re: uptight) nobility obligations and expectations, and politics with life threatening situations at play, cut them some slack in getting to that happily ever after. Harsen hearing those words sounded like daggers, and Ercella thinking that duty to her family being highly important didn't mean any harm when saying them. Still, intention doesn't matter; the damage is done, but she isn't to blame for how someone else interpreted her words especially when she didn't mean them harmfully, naive though she may be.

Vicente is the victim here, as children often are. However, he is now also at an age where he can think for himself. He has some understanding of the situation, and even so has some attachment to both parents despite his upbringing lacking warmth.

There is no neat way to disseminate blame and point fingers. Life is just like that, all the time.

 

[Davi_Felizardo]

For everybody that sad "Harsen is only marring her because he want to use Ercella" I WARNED YOU kkkkkk

 

[jyc]

ouch so she wasn't his "best" choice, even though he was hers 😢.

the angsttt agh will we ever get some fluff

 

[Solistia]

Hold up did we suddenly jump back to the present??