The Game Where You Insult the Person Below You but You Do It so Badly that It's Hillarious

[DANDAN_THE_DANDAN]

And thus it's a loop
Hands red, secrets 'come naked
Yes, I had killed him.

Dear friend beneath me,
Abettor without his will,
Run while you still can.

 

[Teddy]

No can do amigo! Too many tacos and not enough cardio. Vamoose!

Person below me is forever in the first minutes of Epicurious basic lifeskills videos.

 

[DANDAN_THE_DANDAN]

Oh hey that's not too bad.

The person below me is forever forced to continuously watch 5 Minutes Crafts or the gun epoxied behind their heads will shoot.

 

[Teddy]

Not really forever just long enough to learn how to craft a bend to divert the bullets away.

The person below can't jog over 500m without stopping

 

[Thoughtgap]

Well, 500m is 1640.42 feet. I'm just saying, it seems more impressive when we reference it using American measurements..
And, and.. Usain Bolt only ran 200 meters! So, like, I'm winning on distance there, right?
I mean, sure, it takes me like 40 times as long to jog it, but I did go further and, isn't that what really counts? :/
...I mean, I could run more if I wanted to.. ..b-baka..

Despite multiple attempts, the person below just can't manage to get isekai'd to any place where people don't obsessively style their hair into mohawks.

Spoiler

On a related note, this was the last truck they got isekai'd by:

 

[alipz]

uhhmm.. Isn't it cool though?

Let's take a look at the person below while he, instead of picking his nose, sniffs his slimy booger so hard that he swallows it everytime.

 

[CyanHide]

Eugh
Taking one for the team by replying here

The person below me, rather than obeying the spirit of this thread, is going to sincerely compliment the poster below them, and proceed to look like a fool in the process

 

[Teddy]

"Ahem...Testing, testing 1,2,3. We are all gathered here today to thank "Postar Bellow, Pooster Bellom? Anyway for PB in reviving dead threads. Instead of continuing to contribute to the economy, PB has shown remarkable obedience by keeping themselves and their neighbours safe during these tough times. Thankyou"

Person below is breaking quarantine to make sure the birds have had their batteries replaced

 

[Greenfrost]

Lies!!! It's true I am breaking quarantine, but its because I'm selling used porn magazines outside of Walmart.

The person below me is such a square.

 

[hazzack]

society can't tell me what i can't do and it's true

the person below so bad at breakfast they cant make cereal the right way

 

[IrregularPerson]

And we don't use bottled water with your ceral?

the person below ought to scream backwards in case of corona

 

[Teddy]

hhhhhhhhhA

Person below tried to confess and got rejected because of a social distancing excuse.

 

[alipz]

N-no I didn't c-confess. I j-just told him that the m-moon was beautiful that night.
But unfortunately, he said their curfew starts at 6pm so he couldn't go outside and look at the sky. 😢

The person below was hospitalized due to sniffing his/her worn, dirty socks everyday.

 

[Teddy]

Mental Hospitals are better quarantine areas than the outside. I see this farce of mine as an absolute win.

The next person thinks that Jesus and Mohammad never existed but rabbits poop out chocolate eggs.

 

[ideathbell]

From some reason I do think that Jesus never existed though even if he exists I'll hate him. Chocolate Eggs as rabbits poops? It might be better if you said Santa might exist. lol

The person below me still blew bubbles underneath his armpits when taking baths.

 

[hazzack]

i am the Al Cohn of bath saxophone. my armpits are the Lorelei of toilets.

the person below didn't know how to wash his own socks

 

[alipz]

I know how!
I put my dirty socks in a casserole with boiling water, hoping it would be cleansed completely.

The person below me talks to himself in front of the mirror 2 hours a day.

 

[justforthelulz]

Well, at least it's down from the previous average of 3 hours a day.

The person below me believes in The Great Pumpkin (as one should), but thinks he arrives on Easter, the fool!

 

[spicypeppers]

Hey, I only know what I taught myself.

When the person below opens a jar of peanut butter, his dog runs away.

 

[alipz]

That's because the peanut butter has already expired, not because of the freshly scented air from my butt!

The person below believes that the Earth is flat and the center of the universe.