The One Within the Villainess - Vol. 3 Ch. 12.5 - The One I've Been Waiting For

[SkyNEET]

thank gawd its not a new chap because mah hart is not ready

nonetheless ty for the chapter

 

[Angoldd]

Thanks for translating!
I thought it was a good translation. Nonblurry at all.

 

[fanerik]

As much as I would like that, I feel like it was just be really sad. Knowing her character I don't think she would be happy about what Remilia is doing for her.

really? even when emi was playing the game she's always loved remi as the villainess, so i always thought that if she's not like "asleep", if she saw what remi was doing "inside her head" she would appreciate how remi loves her so much she's willing to save the world for her

 

[yun1que]

Thx for the bonus chapter!

 

[spamtrashed]

Typo: divine revelation

Thanks for all the hard work you put into scanlating for us! (^_^)

 

[Sollertia_]

Yo wtf how much redrawing and cleaning did you do? It looks great

 

[rcombs]

You called yourself out on English not being your first language, but this is honestly far better than the vast majority of scanlations out there, including plenty done by native speakers. The bound edges also are barely even noticeable; you've done a great job cleaning those up. Thanks much for the good work.

Meanwhile, it sounds like you're interested in improving your skills, so here are some nits from the exacting standards of an editor and QC at GJM:

• on the disclaimer page: "if they releases their own version"; should be "release"
• "that person" usually reads as fairly unnatural in english; the "person" here should probably be changed to "woman", or some other more specific descriptor
• "explanation to the miasma" would probably sound more natural with "of" instead of "to"
• "reports of the miasma" should probably just be "reports of miasma"
• "demonfolks" appears multiple times, but should just be "demonfolk"; english words ending in "folk" are pretty quirky, and usually are treated as already-plural (the fantasy usage of "a demonfolk" instead of "one of the demonfolk" is an anomaly that exists only because it's also used as the species name). This is distinct from "folk(s)" on its own, which may or may not have the s depending on where you're from (but is near-exclusively plural in either case)! "(x)folks" does exist as a variant, but it's largely obsolete and carries a very particular nuance that isn't really appropriate here.
• "standing on the same level" should probably have "at" instead of "on"
• "For […], I am so glad" is pretty tortured in english. There are a few potential ways to address this:
  • If you had a very dedicated redrawer, the respective lengths of the original lines would probably be even less relevant, so re-splitting as something like "I am so glad" "that she's the one standing at brother's level"; tbh this is still an option even without redrawing
  • If you wanted to get a bit closer to the original line lengths for aesthetic purposes, "I'm so glad that she's the one" "standing at brother's level" could work
  • And for something that puts the meaning split in the same place as the original (which isn't really a huge deal here since it's all in a single unpaneled page, but I digress), "Her being the one standing at brother's level" "makes me so glad."
    • Better: "brings me such joy"
      • Potentially yet better, you could go a little more indirect on the よかった, maybe "such relief" even
• But also, taking a look at the original japanese: I'm no translator, but could 「兄さんと同じ目線」 be intended to mean something more like "same [figurative] point of view", rather than "level"? The existing line sounds like it's saying that he's glad that she's the one who's so powerful or as important, but my (amateur) read of the japanese sounds like it's more about being glad that she's on their side. Plenty of additional options for that line if so.

I know this might look like a lot of comments, but they're mostly pretty minor stuff! The fact that I bothered to write this at all means that you're doing well enough that it feels like picking at nits could actually be worthwhile.

 

[SilverSour]

Thx for the extra

 

[Suisuigo]

Thank you for sharing. There was no new chapter on the japanese site last month so this help sating our needs for new chapter

 

[Whatsuphomies]

Thanks for the upload

 

[Minezuki]

thank you for the upload, the blurry is non visible to me, good translating too. the last page was a nice touch, i do like to have 2 version of specific sentence if possible

 

[DarkDank]

Thanks dude very gaming

 

[Bullfrog]

Excellent work! Thanks for the extra chapter!

 

[Elire]

You called yourself out on English not being your first language, but this is honestly far better than the vast majority of scanlations out there, including plenty done by native speakers. The bound edges also are barely even noticeable; you've done a great job cleaning those up. Thanks much for the good work.

Meanwhile, it sounds like you're interested in improving your skills, so here are some nits from the exacting standards of an editor and QC at GJM:

• on the disclaimer page: "if they releases their own version"; should be "release"
• "that person" usually reads as fairly unnatural in english; the "person" here should probably be changed to "woman", or some other more specific descriptor
• "explanation to the miasma" would probably sound more natural with "of" instead of "to"
• "reports of the miasma" should probably just be "reports of miasma"
• "demonfolks" appears multiple times, but should just be "demonfolk"; english words ending in "folk" are pretty quirky, and usually are treated as already-plural (the fantasy usage of "a demonfolk" instead of "one of the demonfolk" is an anomaly that exists only because it's also used as the species name). This is distinct from "folk(s)" on its own, which may or may not have the s depending on where you're from (but is near-exclusively plural in either case)! "(x)folks" does exist as a variant, but it's largely obsolete and carries a very particular nuance that isn't really appropriate here.
• "standing on the same level" should probably have "at" instead of "on"
• "For […], I am so glad" is pretty tortured in english. There are a few potential ways to address this:
  • If you had a very dedicated redrawer, the respective lengths of the original lines would probably be even less relevant, so re-splitting as something like "I am so glad" "that she's the one standing at brother's level"; tbh this is still an option even without redrawing
  • If you wanted to get a bit closer to the original line lengths for aesthetic purposes, "I'm so glad that she's the one" "standing at brother's level" could work
  • And for something that puts the meaning split in the same place as the original (which isn't really a huge deal here since it's all in a single unpaneled page, but I digress), "Her being the one standing at brother's level" "makes me so glad."
    • Better: "brings me such joy"
      • Potentially yet better, you could go a little more indirect on the よかった, maybe "such relief" even
• But also, taking a look at the original japanese: I'm no translator, but could 「兄さんと同じ目線」 be intended to mean something more like "same [figurative] point of view", rather than "level"? The existing line sounds like it's saying that he's glad that she's the one who's so powerful or as important, but my (amateur) read of the japanese sounds like it's more about being glad that she's on their side. Plenty of additional options for that line if so.

I know this might look like a lot of comments, but they're mostly pretty minor stuff! The fact that I bothered to write this at all means that you're doing well enough that it feels like picking at nits could actually be worthwhile.

despite being non-affiliated, this was still a very fun and informative read - thank you.
that aside, thank you very much for the chapter!

 

[XicoYe]

Wonderful

 

[Extreme-Tactician]

I'm glad Kimlit approves Remila. It looks like her cute demeanor is working on him!

 

[Yatsuki]

Really sorry for the late reply. I was occupied in gaming and didn't check the comment thread...

Typo: divine revelation

Thanks for all the hard work you put into scanlating for us! (^_^)

Thank you for pointing it out! It's also fixed now! ^^ You know I could have sworn I fixed that before exporting the image, guess either I Ctrl Z or actually forgot??

You called yourself out on English not being your first language, but this is honestly far better than the vast majority of scanlations out there, including plenty done by native speakers. The bound edges also are barely even noticeable; you've done a great job cleaning those up. Thanks much for the good work.

Meanwhile, it sounds like you're interested in improving your skills, so here are some nits from the exacting standards of an editor and QC at GJM:

• on the disclaimer page: "if they releases their own version"; should be "release"
• "that person" usually reads as fairly unnatural in english; the "person" here should probably be changed to "woman", or some other more specific descriptor
• "explanation to the miasma" would probably sound more natural with "of" instead of "to"
• "reports of the miasma" should probably just be "reports of miasma"
• "demonfolks" appears multiple times, but should just be "demonfolk"; english words ending in "folk" are pretty quirky, and usually are treated as already-plural (the fantasy usage of "a demonfolk" instead of "one of the demonfolk" is an anomaly that exists only because it's also used as the species name). This is distinct from "folk(s)" on its own, which may or may not have the s depending on where you're from (but is near-exclusively plural in either case)! "(x)folks" does exist as a variant, but it's largely obsolete and carries a very particular nuance that isn't really appropriate here.
• "standing on the same level" should probably have "at" instead of "on"
• "For […], I am so glad" is pretty tortured in english. There are a few potential ways to address this:
  • If you had a very dedicated redrawer, the respective lengths of the original lines would probably be even less relevant, so re-splitting as something like "I am so glad" "that she's the one standing at brother's level"; tbh this is still an option even without redrawing
  • If you wanted to get a bit closer to the original line lengths for aesthetic purposes, "I'm so glad that she's the one" "standing at brother's level" could work
  • And for something that puts the meaning split in the same place as the original (which isn't really a huge deal here since it's all in a single unpaneled page, but I digress), "Her being the one standing at brother's level" "makes me so glad."
    • Better: "brings me such joy"
      • Potentially yet better, you could go a little more indirect on the よかった, maybe "such relief" even
• But also, taking a look at the original japanese: I'm no translator, but could 「兄さんと同じ目線」 be intended to mean something more like "same [figurative] point of view", rather than "level"? The existing line sounds like it's saying that he's glad that she's the one who's so powerful or as important, but my (amateur) read of the japanese sounds like it's more about being glad that she's on their side. Plenty of additional options for that line if so.

I know this might look like a lot of comments, but they're mostly pretty minor stuff! The fact that I bothered to write this at all means that you're doing well enough that it feels like picking at nits could actually be worthwhile.

Gosh thank you so much for the detailed feedback!!!!!! I've changed quite a few things base on what you said:

• Simplified the pronounce for Amarrez. I used "They/them" because I'm not sure of the gender, but probably better to just switch to (s)he and his/her. I've heard "they/them" can be singular but err, let's not get too complicated on this matter.
• I decided to keep "that person" because the original Japanese does say "Ano hito" and Idk if it's a cultural thing but "That woman" actually sounds ruder to me... Is it more normal in English to refer more specifically like "that woman"?
• Demonfolks changed to demons, as that's what Amarrez uses. I tried to stick to his/her choice of words and somehow it slipped my mind.
• After asking around various friends who know Japanese, it seems "It brings me such joy that she is the one who shares the same viewpoint as brother" gain the most favourable consensus. And yeah, the meaning is basically she is sharing his world view, sentiments, heading towards the same goal etc. There is a lot of possible versions for this sentence. I hope the one I chose is okay with everyone.

Again thank you so much for the "nitpick", I love it ^^. Not gonna lie, it honestly boosts my confident a lot that everyone thinks I did well.

 

[REDRED]

The chapter is appreciated👍

 

[TroubleFait]

You will, after the end. I mean the Epilogue when Emi became Remi's daughter

I just wanted to thank you for hiding the spoiler. I didn't click on it and thus wasn't spoiled.
Many people are not so well-mannered. Thank you sir.

 

[AnotherMMD]

during the last released chapter, it seems Amarrez's group is stepping down, are you willing to pick this series up?