"Dearest Canaria,
I have never had the time to write a response you your many, shall we say, 'unique' letters. But now I seem to have plenty of time to think and write. While I may not be as 'articulate' as you are with quill and paper, I feel that these words truly represent my feelings:
Bitch you dumb as hell.
Sincerely, your devoted husband, (seriously, read this part again, idiot)
Prince Cesar"