Worst pick-up line contest

Dex-chan lover
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Jan 20, 2023
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232
wholy fucking fuck
look at the size of those melons
want me to hold them?
 
Dex-chan lover
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Feb 17, 2018
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1,856
I think you'll like me, they say people are attracted what they don't have; and I've got loads of common sense
 
Power Uploader
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Jan 22, 2018
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577
You are nice, I am impressed. Will you shit on my chest?

(stolen from a friend)
 
Dex-chan lover
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Mar 5, 2019
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3,779
Hey baby, wanna know why they call me a pedophile?

[this user is contemplating suicide for having the gall to make this atrocious pun]
 
Double-page supporter
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Feb 16, 2023
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264
Hmm... Dang it, I couldn't even bring myself to say the one about "Asteroids & Uranus", that's just dirty XD
Uhhh... Is that really it? XD
"Each Day has been as cold as winter. Yet glaring upon your eyes, I feel like a log in a hearth" Now that's cheesy and dirty XD
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
Mar 2, 2020
Messages
277
One that I've actually used:
"Look... Me and my buddy over there are on a double blind date... To be frank, we're dying. I know when to quit while I'm ahead, but he doesn't. You've been stealing glances at our table all night.
"No, I'm not coming on to you. Women don't steal glances at me. No one looks at a fatass like me that way anyway. I'm more 'last-call desperation' and I know it. Even then it'll be just me going home in a dirty taxi alone and plastered.
"Well, I'm about to excuse myself and once I do that I fully expect the two women to leave as soon as my buddy steps away to the bar again. Knowing him, he'll stick around and have a drink. If he was really disappointed, a dessert too.
"Anyway, I'm wasting your time. Back to the point: He likes baseball and fishing. Tip: when he's enjoying himself he drinks beer otherwise he'll get a cocktail or shots. He has a big doberman that he gushes about. Get him to talk about the lake or the last game he attended. Good luck."

Worst pickup line because I, in fact, went home alone. My friend had would gain and off-and-on girlfriend, who would eventually become his future daughter's godparent.
Although I admit, I was correct. I would go home alone from every late bar visit during that decade of my life. The following would be the same and the current decade isn't looking too good.
 

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