Yumemiru Danshi wa Genjitsushugisha - Vol. 3 Ch. 14

[exxeld]

Big ups for MC honestly, you can see how his self esteem had been diminished by the actions of his sister and mum bashing him over the years but didn't want to rock the boat cuz he cares about em.

 

[nhule15]

I once told my big sis to "Fuck off" after the years I've been suffered, we don't contact each others since 2021 but I feel relieved after letting that off my chest. At least we don't argue each other anymore this way, just like my parents wish in the past.

 

[emMeBi86]

Well, to be fair. In brother x sister relationship it's ok to badmouth each other whenever possible without any reason. Its just a given. It doesn't mean we don't love each other and we will tear down anyone who'll try to harm our closest sibling. And about the "tell me something I'm good at". Its a most cringe and hard thing to ask. Like come on, we are saying shit like "you ugly" and "lol u suck" ect every day, it's nearly impossible to come up with something nice, let alone admit it to their face right off the bat. At least sister reflected on it, you can see how she loves him and ultimately blamed herself. She was even ok to change herself to help him. Also my favorite tomboy didn't do anything harmful to him. She's acting as your average school friend gaslighting you for any reason and making fun of you, but still care for you if something happens. Imo, tomboy or morale president are two best girls in here... And his sis also

I have a brother so I don't know if it counts the same as being "brother and sister", but I don't think is that far anyway

I understand your pov, a little messing with the counterpart is fine and all...it can be fun too.
But here the situation is really different for two major reasons:
1) it's not "here and there" but it's a costant situation where it happens all the time. All. The. Time. And its not only verbal abuse (gross / repulsive / similar are heavy blows to a growing person's self esteem) but physical too
2) not only is the sister involved, but the mother too. And that's even worse, because having your parent too that costantly insults you, says (directly or in a roundabout way is the same) that you are "low level", you are trash, ecc is really a burden and can affect a person severely.
Even more so because all of this happened for years; the mass of that hit home all at once for MC, but it's still the result of piling up insults after insults.

That's not a normal and healthy familiar relationship at all. What we have here is not just joking, they were trash talking him for a while.

(and instead of MC finally changing things? He gets blamed from a third party for the single moment he says something 🙄)

 

[Ultenth]

At least his sister really does care.

Siblings trash talking to each other is pretty normal. But they usually do know what the limits are. Because of Wataru's sudden change, she actually thinks she's surpassed those limits. It obviously causses confusion and guilt. Trying to make up for it apparently makes things even more confusing.

She loves the "normal" Wataru, this abnormal one is rather worrying. Wataru prefers his "normal" sister too, you can see her trying to act "normal" after that. Probably won't help the situation though. What she needs to do is drag him to a psychologist.

Does she? I mean, it really just seems like she's sad because she feels like a bad person. Not because she's actually reflecting on her actions and how she treats him and the pain he's got going on. It's a not-uncommon trait for abusers to get sad and weepy when you "make them feel bad" about the fact that they are abusing you and make them feel guilty about them.

So no, from what I can tell she doesn't care, and she's not normal. She's abusive, and she feels guilty and sad that her abuse is so visible and public, so she doesn't know what to do with these feelings.

From what we can see, 3 of the most important women in his life just constantly hurl verbal and actual physical abuse at him constantly, so much they and he has almost weirdly started to interpret it as it's their love language. Which is all sorts of messed up. I hope he can escape all 3 of them and find someone that doesn't treat him like garbage constantly and try to constantly tell him he's average or below.

And if you have "friends" or family who constantly look for ways to diminish your self-worth as some sort of teasing, know that it's not normal, it's not acceptable, and you don't deserve it. You deserve people in your life who uplift you and tell you they believe in you and that you're worthwhile. And if you're the person constantly "teasing" other people, just know that the little needling and constant quashing of their self might not be something they ever complain about, or even really notice, but all the constant little "jokes" bringing up their flaws, or telling embarrassing stories about them every chance you get, are cruel and damaging to them. So even if you think it's just how siblings/family/friends interact within your groups, it's not healthy, and it doesn't have to be that way.

 

[Ultenth]

His sister believing it was her fault he lost his self-esteem and him feeling frustrated over her wanting to change her behavior out of guilt for something she wasn't even part of in his life make a lot more sense in the manga. It came kinda out of nowhere in the anime, but here we get a bit of foreshadowing with the sister being present when the confession happened at their house and how she reacted in the student council room. She was definitely worrying about it on the background.

But as I mentioned in the comments of the anime, she isn't a bad sister. She does worry about her brother and wants him to be happy, but since they have this emotionally distant relationship, she doesn't know how to be open with him or get him to open up with her. In the end all the information she has on the situation is the little that she observed and, since his responses seem to fit with what she uses to tell him all the time (despite it being just normal sibling banter), she ends up believing it's her fault.

On the other hand, Sajou is comfortable with this kind of relationship he has with his sister, it's their way of connecting and the only way he has known. For her to come out and say something like she'll change over something she perceives to be a flaw on him that he doesn't see the same way, of course it would frustrate him. And I like the way the manga made his anger more obvious, it was too subtle in the anime.

But as always Natsukawa being the worst.

Their relationship doesn't seem emotionally distant. They seem to be very emotionally connected. And those emotions are mostly just negative. She's not the worst sister in the world, but I definitely wouldn't wish her on anyone I care about.

She is not worried about her brother and his happiness, she is worried about her own ego, and she doesn't want to feel guilty that she has done something bad to ruin his life. So she does the usual abuser tactic in the scenario where they finally realize they are doing bad things, and make it about their guilty and bad feelings of realizing they did bad things. And then it becomes more about soothing their guilty conscience, then it is about actually trying to sooth or help the person who was the actual victim of their cruelty. If someone actually DOES care about someone in that situation, and wants to undo damage they have done, then their focus is on the other person, their pain, and trying to help them.

Also, big FU to the student council boys. A literal abuse victim, and because they have a crush on the abuser they actually confront the victim to tell him his abuser is sad please so go fix it.

 

[Qwormuli]

To everybody saying that heavy banter or rough and tumble can be totally normal in in a sibling relationship is normal are right. And no, him calling her bitch wouldn't be out of the left field or even harsh. But what you for some reason seem to miss (to me) is the total lack of anything on the contrary. There's no support. There's no rapport. No camaraderie towards each other.

You might come to words often and with plenty fucked up barbs, even constantly. But it comes with understanding, banter and byplay. You might fight, but you don't just twist your sibling to shit and leave them laying in a sorry pile time after time --You help them up. There has been an utter lack of any of that here, instead devolving into a constant mire of denigration. If that endless hacking at somebody's roots comes without any support, it's just tearing somebody down instead of growing together.

 

[Ultenth]

To everybody saying that heavy banter or rough and tumble can be totally normal in in a sibling relationship is normal are right. And no, him calling her bitch wouldn't be out of the left field or even harsh. But what you for some reason seem to miss (to me) is the total lack of anything on the contrary. There's no support. There's no rapport. No camaraderie towards each other.

You might come to words often and with plenty fucked up barbs, even constantly. But it comes with understanding, banter and byplay. You might fight, but you don't just twist your sibling to shit and leave them laying in a sorry pile time after time --You help them up. There has been an utter lack of any of that here, instead devolving into a constant mire of denigration. If that endless hacking at somebody's roots comes without any support, it's just tearing somebody down instead of growing together.

Fair point, in regards to teasing being more okay if you also combine it with supporting them. But teasing is a very broad range, and some person's playful teasing is another person's soul crushing mockery.

My main thing is: what is the intent and purpose behind any given teasing? Like, what do you get out of it, or what are you trying to have the person being teased get out of it? If you're playfully ribbing them in order to try to motivate them to work on something, for some people that works and for some it doesn't. If you're doing it for your own ego to feel better about yourself, or to look cooler in front of other people around you, or to make sure "they don't get a big head", then it's likely you're just an asshole.

 

[Qwormuli]

Fair point, in regards to teasing being more okay if you also combine it with supporting them. But teasing is a very broad range, and some person's playful teasing is another person's soul crushing mockery.

My main thing is: what is the intent and purpose behind any given teasing? Like, what do you get out of it, or what are you trying to have the person being teased get out of it? If you're playfully ribbing them in order to try to motivate them to work on something, for some people that works and for some it doesn't. If you're doing it for your own ego to feel better about yourself, or to look cooler in front of other people around you, or to make sure "they don't get a big head", then it's likely you're just an asshole.

Usually the purpose is self fulfilling in just wanting to have a giggle or unloading frustration. If you actually try to develop or shape up someone, teasing or bullying isn't likely to do the thing at all, especially without anything to go along with it. Most often those situations are just cheap platitudes to excuse poisonous behavior, like bullies "teaching something" to their targets.

 

[Ultenth]

Usually the purpose is self fulfilling in just wanting to have a giggle or unloading frustration. If you actually try to develop or shape up someone, teasing or bullying isn't likely to do the thing at all, especially without anything to go along with it. Most often those situations are just cheap platitudes to excuse poisonous behavior, like bullies "teaching something" to their targets.

Or people that talk about "I'm just an honest person" as an excuse to say cruel things to someone and point out their flaws.

 

[XilumDreemurr]

He's gonna die if he don't get treated. This seems mental man

 

[thecreator777]

So is this series going to address the fact that he seems depressed or self-loathing? Like here he seems to dodge the question by simply saying he's "normal" rather than less-than.
It seems like before; he thought he could achieve anything, and everyone always spoke down to him, then one day it all finally became too much and he went through a sudden shift in perception of himself and decided he can't achieve much, if anything.

His sister does deserve to feel bad, because she was beating one the brother's ego as much as anyone else, and now she's the one who's upset because that ego is now bent outta shape.

Honestly the best ending this series could have is the MC gaining his confidence back, getting a different girlfriend, and bitching anyone out who put him in the self-confidence black hole in the first place... but we all know he's eventually going to come back to the fmc on his hands and knees, and smooth over all the other problems without complaining like in this chapter.

The fact that his sister was unable to say anything "good" about her brother speaks volumes.

My thoughts exactly. It's disgusting how the MC is made to feel bad and apologize for his very normal reaction towards being mistreated. The student council president essentially says "Your sister and mother's treatment of you is the reason why you are dissatisfied with yourself and are acting coldly towards others. So apologize to your sister because her own actions made her feel sad and that's your fault".

And the tsundere has been pissing me off as well. Treats new people she has never met significantly better than she has ever treated him even letting some new guy over her house to meet her sister while telling the MC that he's disgusting and wouldn't want someone "like him" to be a bad influence on her family. Then has the audacity to act upset when he wants to distance himself from her.

I feel like I'm being emotionally cucked every time I read this series.