Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 40 - Gears Setting Chaos In Motion
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Thx for the TL!
Hikari deserves so much better than him
He and yami (even tho i do sympathize with her terrible home life) can go FUCK THEMSELVES
couple hours later edit
so i wanted to read some of these comments and then do a quick reread of the entire manga just in case i forgot anything major.
I don't mean to offend anyone, but i want to make my reasons clear for why I don't like Yuu. to start, Yami is worse than yuu, im just giving some reasonings on why i dislike yuu and why he doesn't derserve hikari. The reason why I dislike Yuu is because he is unwilling to confront the truth for hikari. To start off, I decided to do another reread of the manga, and its very clear that early on, yuu always was thinking of yami post breakup. To start, chapter 12, now knowing the majority of the timeline (unless we got yuu's pov from that far back), its clear that yuu was refering to yami, not hikari. We just assumed it was hikari bc we didn't know the history yet. Also side note, on page 2, Yuu admits that he went on a date with pigtail girl, so i don't believe he always loved hikari since childhood (actually idk if he said he loves hikari since childhood or since start of highschool so i could be wrong). And yes, she asked him, but that doesn't excuse anything, he still choose to go on a date.
Chapter 16, pages 2-4, now knowing the history (aka the middle school arc between yuu and yami), its clear that the reason why yuu wanted to shift the conversation and having that forced smile was bc he didn't want to reveal that he was in a relationship prior to his feelings. if you reread the chapter, its clear that yuu never quickly denies the dating rumors, its cus he was dating, he wasn't dating hikari though. he didn't want to reveal to them that he was in a prior relationship.
side note for chapter 17, i think a lot of people are misinterpretating what hikari says about if yuu confessed when they were younger. the exact line from page 5 is "If he told me he liked me at that time.......... For me back then, who's never even had the idea of love cross her mind, maybe I would have turned him down" The key word is maybe, she wouldn't have known if she would reject his feelings or not. She only thought of him as a childhood friend when they were younger, she wasn't expecting him to confess his feelings to her, so she wouldn't know how to react. She's not outright rejecting, she just was unsure.
chapter 19, it is clear that the reason why Yuu didn't originally want to go to the festival was because he knew yami was there. he didn't want to confront her. In this chapter, chapter 40 page 15, yami yells at yuu that he knew she went to the same school for over a year didn't he. I disagree to the argument that yuu wanted to get closure, he didn't want closure, he had to confront yami before confessing to hikari. He didn't want to go to the festival bc he was worried that he and hikari was gonna run into yami and their relationship was gonna get revealed. He only went bc hikari was begging and looked upset that he rejected her. if he really cared about closure and making hikari his #1 priority, he could've just left when he said bye, but he chose to stay. if he really wanted closure, he has a year to meet yami to end it.
with those reminders and my interpretations of those chapters, the reason why I very much dislike Yuu is because he was not going to tell hikari the truth about his relationship with yami. He did not want to tell her, he wanted to avoid yami while trying to get closer to hikari. with the last 3 chapters. as a reminder chapter 40 takes place right before the confession, 38-39. on page4 of ch40, he gets 100% confirmation that yami and hikari are very close friends. this is the key part of why i dislike him, sorry for repeating alot. he confesses to hikari without ever telling her about their relationship. that is complete bs for him to act like he really loved hikari but not tell her about his past. TO BE CLEAR, I don't have a problem with him having past relationships, everyone is allowed a past. The problem is that because he and yami are so revelant to hikari's current friendships and bonds, it is so disrespectful that he never tells her about his past with yami. we see in chapter 38-39, he had no plans of telling her about yami. he just want to get with hikari without thinking of telling her the truth. if it wasn't for hikari seeing them kiss, she would've been lied too. and yes, yami forced a kiss on yuu, BUT yuu never told her about to kiss (aka the i hate liars in the end of ch39). I also find it dumb that yuu clearly thinks he can just date hikari and not ever run into yami when he knows that they are best friends. TBC again, all of this also applies to ayami, i think she is worse, im just talking about yuu. and before anyone says, lets says next chapter before hikari says another word, yuu confesses about ayami, that doesn't change anything, he wanted to get her to go out with him before telling the truth, nothing would have changed.
Yuu said he loves hikari for a long time, but clearly didn't respect her enough to be honest with her.
TO REITERATE, i don't have a problem with yuu having a prior relationship with ayami, i'm upset that he never choose to tell hikari the truth about him and yami past relationship at any point. there has truth and respect in a relationship, but yuu wanted to avoid and lie, so I do not like him, hikari deserves so much better,
my apologizes for the ranting, i just wanted to give my reasoninings why i don't like him. If you disagree with me, i am happy for you. I am not here to change anyone's mind. at the end of the day we can all just agree to disagree. If you read all this, thank you and apologizes for any misspellings.
Nah fuck him still. Nothing has changed
Hikari deserves so much better than him
He and yami (even tho i do sympathize with her terrible home life) can go FUCK THEMSELVES
couple hours later edit
so i wanted to read some of these comments and then do a quick reread of the entire manga just in case i forgot anything major.
I don't mean to offend anyone, but i want to make my reasons clear for why I don't like Yuu. to start, Yami is worse than yuu, im just giving some reasonings on why i dislike yuu and why he doesn't derserve hikari. The reason why I dislike Yuu is because he is unwilling to confront the truth for hikari. To start off, I decided to do another reread of the manga, and its very clear that early on, yuu always was thinking of yami post breakup. To start, chapter 12, now knowing the majority of the timeline (unless we got yuu's pov from that far back), its clear that yuu was refering to yami, not hikari. We just assumed it was hikari bc we didn't know the history yet. Also side note, on page 2, Yuu admits that he went on a date with pigtail girl, so i don't believe he always loved hikari since childhood (actually idk if he said he loves hikari since childhood or since start of highschool so i could be wrong). And yes, she asked him, but that doesn't excuse anything, he still choose to go on a date.
Chapter 16, pages 2-4, now knowing the history (aka the middle school arc between yuu and yami), its clear that the reason why yuu wanted to shift the conversation and having that forced smile was bc he didn't want to reveal that he was in a relationship prior to his feelings. if you reread the chapter, its clear that yuu never quickly denies the dating rumors, its cus he was dating, he wasn't dating hikari though. he didn't want to reveal to them that he was in a prior relationship.
side note for chapter 17, i think a lot of people are misinterpretating what hikari says about if yuu confessed when they were younger. the exact line from page 5 is "If he told me he liked me at that time.......... For me back then, who's never even had the idea of love cross her mind, maybe I would have turned him down" The key word is maybe, she wouldn't have known if she would reject his feelings or not. She only thought of him as a childhood friend when they were younger, she wasn't expecting him to confess his feelings to her, so she wouldn't know how to react. She's not outright rejecting, she just was unsure.
chapter 19, it is clear that the reason why Yuu didn't originally want to go to the festival was because he knew yami was there. he didn't want to confront her. In this chapter, chapter 40 page 15, yami yells at yuu that he knew she went to the same school for over a year didn't he. I disagree to the argument that yuu wanted to get closure, he didn't want closure, he had to confront yami before confessing to hikari. He didn't want to go to the festival bc he was worried that he and hikari was gonna run into yami and their relationship was gonna get revealed. He only went bc hikari was begging and looked upset that he rejected her. if he really cared about closure and making hikari his #1 priority, he could've just left when he said bye, but he chose to stay. if he really wanted closure, he has a year to meet yami to end it.
with those reminders and my interpretations of those chapters, the reason why I very much dislike Yuu is because he was not going to tell hikari the truth about his relationship with yami. He did not want to tell her, he wanted to avoid yami while trying to get closer to hikari. with the last 3 chapters. as a reminder chapter 40 takes place right before the confession, 38-39. on page4 of ch40, he gets 100% confirmation that yami and hikari are very close friends. this is the key part of why i dislike him, sorry for repeating alot. he confesses to hikari without ever telling her about their relationship. that is complete bs for him to act like he really loved hikari but not tell her about his past. TO BE CLEAR, I don't have a problem with him having past relationships, everyone is allowed a past. The problem is that because he and yami are so revelant to hikari's current friendships and bonds, it is so disrespectful that he never tells her about his past with yami. we see in chapter 38-39, he had no plans of telling her about yami. he just want to get with hikari without thinking of telling her the truth. if it wasn't for hikari seeing them kiss, she would've been lied too. and yes, yami forced a kiss on yuu, BUT yuu never told her about to kiss (aka the i hate liars in the end of ch39). I also find it dumb that yuu clearly thinks he can just date hikari and not ever run into yami when he knows that they are best friends. TBC again, all of this also applies to ayami, i think she is worse, im just talking about yuu. and before anyone says, lets says next chapter before hikari says another word, yuu confesses about ayami, that doesn't change anything, he wanted to get her to go out with him before telling the truth, nothing would have changed.
Yuu said he loves hikari for a long time, but clearly didn't respect her enough to be honest with her.
TO REITERATE, i don't have a problem with yuu having a prior relationship with ayami, i'm upset that he never choose to tell hikari the truth about him and yami past relationship at any point. there has truth and respect in a relationship, but yuu wanted to avoid and lie, so I do not like him, hikari deserves so much better,
my apologizes for the ranting, i just wanted to give my reasoninings why i don't like him. If you disagree with me, i am happy for you. I am not here to change anyone's mind. at the end of the day we can all just agree to disagree. If you read all this, thank you and apologizes for any misspellings.
Last edited:
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I’m no doctor but Yami is exhibiting real bipolar behavior even if she’s aware of what she’s doing is wrong. Going from saying goodbye to yelling then slapping & finally kissing him… am I wrong to say that something isn’t right? Like she ghosted him, do you really think any real & sane guy would go blood hound looking for her… NO (unless he’s psychotic). Thanks for the translations.
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Hello, waiter? What is this? This is the Yami platter, a hot mess of stupidity and contradictions. I thought I ordered something a little less retarded
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Here is an MTL of the novel chapter:
Author’s post on X:
I’m not sure if Maruto was being sarcastic in his X post or not, but there’s one thing I do know: Yami absolutely sucks. And Yuu sucks too for standing there in silence while she spewed all that bullshit. The only character with some balls in this story is Hikari.
Thanks for the chapter!
Chapter 40: The Gear That Began to Go Awry
A Saturday in late September.
The dusky evening sky looked so dark, I could’ve mistaken it for nightfall—it seemed like it might start crying at any moment.
Yami: “Yami-senpai…?”
Yuu: “Nh… mm…”
And me—I looked like I might start crying at any moment too.
It’s been a year since we broke up without even saying goodbye.
A year since I cut off contact without warning.
A year since I dumped him without giving any reason.
Even though I was the one who treated him so horribly, so one-sidedly…
Why is it, why is it that all these intense feelings are bubbling up now?
Why do I find myself wanting to run to him and throw myself into his arms?
Yuu: “What? Why? Isn’t this… Hikari’s classroom…?”
Yami: “…”
But—
The moment that name, Hikari, came up…
My face twisted into a full-blown, sarcastic grin.
Yami: “…It’s been a while, Taa-kun…?”
Yuu: “Huh…?”
Teasing that openly confused look on Yuu’s face—
And as if trying to swallow the words:
Yami: "That’s your first reaction to seeing me again after all this time?!"
……
……
Yuu: “I can’t believe Yami-senpai was the ‘Aya-chan’ Hikari always talks about…”
Yami: “Hikari-chan’s always in your care~! Tehe♪”
Yuu: “Cut it out already…”
Yami: “…Sorry.”
We both calmed down a little—just a little.
But still couldn’t bring ourselves to care about the shards of the cup scattered across the floor.
Yuu: “You didn’t tell Hikari? About us?”
Yami: “Helloo? I only just found out myself, okay?”
(TL note: LIAAAR!)
Right there in the middle of the classroom,
Neither of us could take our eyes off each other’s face.
Yami: “I never imagined that the so-called ‘lady-killer Taa-kun’ I heard about was actually just plain ol’ Yuu the wimp.”
Yuu: “What’s this nonsense...”
Did he grow taller again?
But his face hasn’t changed much.
There’s still a trace of innocence in it.
Yuu: “So you’re back in school, huh, Yami-senpai.”
Yuu: “…That’s good.”
Yami: “Good? Please. Somehow I ended up in the same grade as you.”
Yuu: “Still, you moved up to second year, right? You’re going to class and everything?”
Yami: “…More or less.”
That’s because of your childhood friend, you know.
The moment I skip class, she messages me.
If I flunk a test, she forces me to study.
That nosy, annoying girl who’s just like you—
My best friend.
Thanks to her.
Yuu: “I was seriously worried, you know. When you suddenly stopped contacting me a year ago…”
Yami: “Well, I got bored. Of you, Yuu.”
Yuu: “…I… I see…”
Yami: “Exactly. So drop it already.”
Yuu: “Y-yeah. Got it. Sorry.”
Yami: “…”
Don’t believe that so easily, you idiot.
Don’t act all hurt on your own, you idiot.
Is that really what you think I’m like?
Or are you just trying to believe what’s easiest to accept?
Yuu: “S-speaking of which… if you’re back in school, then your parents…”
Yami: “Ahh, if you mean my dad, that’s all been dealt with… That side of things is fine now.”
Yuu: “I see… that’s good.”
Good? No, it’s not.
Pick up on the nuance, for once.
My mom’s issues are still completely unresolved.
Why is it that Yuu always lets go of my hand at the most important moments? Idiot.
Yami: “So, what about you? How have you been lately?”
Yuu: “Me? Nothing much has changed.”
Yami: “Well, your girlfriend has.”
Yuu: “We’re not exactly dating yet…”
Yami: “Yet, huh…”
Yuu: “N-no, uh… Let’s just drop this topic too, okay?”
Why?
Why can’t I ask, Yuu?
Do you seriously think I don’t care anymore?
Do you really expect me to smile and say,
‘I’m rooting for you and Hikari, as your friend~’?
…What the hell, me.
My head’s a mess, bouncing all over the place.
This is my first time talking to Yuu in a year, and my words and thoughts are completely out of sync.
Do I want to lash out at him?
Do I want to talk about Hikari?
Do I want to reminisce about me and Yuu?
Do I want to interrogate him about Hikari and Yuu?
Besides, Yuu hasn’t done anything wrong.
I know that better than anyone.
He’s kind, sort of cute, a little too easy to sway…
But that time, I was the one who nudged him in that direction.
So I can’t. I can’t go any further than this.
I can’t tie him down.
Not to this place.
Not to me.
Yami: “You’re meeting up with Hikari, right?”
Yuu: “Ah…”
Yuu looked quickly at his phone, face twisting in a wince.
He must’ve seen a call from Hikari.
Yami: “Go on, Yuu.”
Yuu: “But…”
Yami: “What, you’re gonna break your promise to your girlfriend?”
Yuu hesitated for a moment, showing a trace of indecision.
But in the end, he reached the “obvious” conclusion and gave me a regretful look.
Yuu: “W-we’ll see each other again, right?”
Yami: “…Who knows.”
Yuu: “R-right, uh… your new contact info—”
Yami: “No way I’m giving that to a guy I dumped.”
Yuu: “O-oh… right…”
Yami: “Besides, if you’re still thinking about me even now, that’d be unfair to Hikari.”
Yuu: “That’s not…”
Yeah. That regretful look.
And that disappointed look.
The usual wimpy Yuu expression.
Yuu: “I still think about you all the time, Yami-senpai. Of course I do.”
But—
But the moment he said that,
Just for that one moment—he had the face of a real guy.
The face Yuu had when I was head over heels for him.
Yami: “Go.”
Yuu: “…Yeah.”
That’s why I hurried Yuu along.
Because I didn’t want him to see.
To see my lingering feelings.
Yuu: “Okay then, Yami-senpai, see you—”
Yami: “...!”
How could he—
Even though I’m in such a rush.
Yuu slowly turned to me with a smile once more.
And yet, and yet...
He turned his back to me and started walking away.
One step, two steps...
Yuu was moving away from me.
Leaving me forever.
Yami: “...What, are you trying to turn this into a memory or something, Yuu?”
Yuu: “Huh...?”
What the hell am I saying?
I’m the one who told him to leave.
I’m the one who said, make it a memory.
Yami: “You ignored me for an entire year... And now what? You want to part ways cleanly, like it’s some beautiful, bittersweet goodbye?”
Yuu: “Yami... senpai?”
What am I doing... What am I doing...
This is such a messed up grudge I’m throwing at him.
Yami: “You could’ve found me, Yuu... You knew I was going to the same school as Hikari, didn’t you?”
This is completely my fault—only mine.
Yami: “Even if I blocked your calls, it wouldn’t have been hard to find me.”
No doubt about it. I’m the one who was in the wrong. I’m the one being ugly.
Yami: “And yet... and yet... You never even tried to find me...!”
Anyone listening would think this was absurd, totally irrational.
Yami: “I’ve been going to school since last September, you know?”
Of course he wouldn’t have known that.
He wasn’t responsible for any of it.
Yami: “If you’d skipped school just once... If you’d waited in front of the station in the morning... If you’d found me and called out to me...”
That kind of thing—there’s no way you could’ve done it. It’s not realistic.
Yami: “And even if you had, I would’ve run away for sure. Even if you caught me, I would’ve pushed you away.”
In fact, if you had done all that, it’d be stalker behavior. Anyone would be creeped out.
Yami: “But still—if you had kept trying, if you had chased me down again and again—!”
But I’m not normal.
There’s something wrong with me.
That’s what I wanted you to do.
And I hated that you didn’t.
Yami: “If you had, then in the very end, I would’ve dropped everything, let go of it all, and run straight into your arms!”
Yuu: “...!”
My raised hand struck Yuu’s cheek with a dry smack.
He had come back—
Even though he had walked away, he was now right in front of me again.
Because he’d returned to be blamed, to be yelled at.
Yuu: “Yami-senpai, I—”
Yami: “Shut up! Don’t act like you know anything, Yuu!”
...
...
See? I knew it.
Kissing just tastes like spit.
...No—it just tastes like him.
Ugh... That’s why I was hiding.
Ever since he came to our school—into my classroom—I kept sneaking out.
So why, why... did I come back?
Why did you find me again, Yuu...?
The ringing in my ears scrambled my thoughts.
No—this wasn’t just ringing.
Thick raindrops had begun wetting the windows of the classroom.
Ayami Sudou, 18 years old...
Somehow, my ex ended up being my best friend’s crush.
...
...
Yami: “Come to think of it, you didn’t say it last year... did you?”
Yuu is crying.
I'm crying too.
Yami: “Goodbye, Yuu.”
Yuu: “There’s a limit to how cowardly you can be, you know...!”
But Hikari... wouldn’t understand.
She was hiding behind the door, and couldn’t see our faces.
A Saturday in late September.
The dusky evening sky looked so dark, I could’ve mistaken it for nightfall—it seemed like it might start crying at any moment.
Yami: “Yami-senpai…?”
Yuu: “Nh… mm…”
And me—I looked like I might start crying at any moment too.
It’s been a year since we broke up without even saying goodbye.
A year since I cut off contact without warning.
A year since I dumped him without giving any reason.
Even though I was the one who treated him so horribly, so one-sidedly…
Why is it, why is it that all these intense feelings are bubbling up now?
Why do I find myself wanting to run to him and throw myself into his arms?
Yuu: “What? Why? Isn’t this… Hikari’s classroom…?”
Yami: “…”
But—
The moment that name, Hikari, came up…
My face twisted into a full-blown, sarcastic grin.
Yami: “…It’s been a while, Taa-kun…?”
Yuu: “Huh…?”
Teasing that openly confused look on Yuu’s face—
And as if trying to swallow the words:
Yami: "That’s your first reaction to seeing me again after all this time?!"
……
……
Yuu: “I can’t believe Yami-senpai was the ‘Aya-chan’ Hikari always talks about…”
Yami: “Hikari-chan’s always in your care~! Tehe♪”
Yuu: “Cut it out already…”
Yami: “…Sorry.”
We both calmed down a little—just a little.
But still couldn’t bring ourselves to care about the shards of the cup scattered across the floor.
Yuu: “You didn’t tell Hikari? About us?”
Yami: “Helloo? I only just found out myself, okay?”
(TL note: LIAAAR!)
Right there in the middle of the classroom,
Neither of us could take our eyes off each other’s face.
Yami: “I never imagined that the so-called ‘lady-killer Taa-kun’ I heard about was actually just plain ol’ Yuu the wimp.”
Yuu: “What’s this nonsense...”
Did he grow taller again?
But his face hasn’t changed much.
There’s still a trace of innocence in it.
Yuu: “So you’re back in school, huh, Yami-senpai.”
Yuu: “…That’s good.”
Yami: “Good? Please. Somehow I ended up in the same grade as you.”
Yuu: “Still, you moved up to second year, right? You’re going to class and everything?”
Yami: “…More or less.”
That’s because of your childhood friend, you know.
The moment I skip class, she messages me.
If I flunk a test, she forces me to study.
That nosy, annoying girl who’s just like you—
My best friend.
Thanks to her.
Yuu: “I was seriously worried, you know. When you suddenly stopped contacting me a year ago…”
Yami: “Well, I got bored. Of you, Yuu.”
Yuu: “…I… I see…”
Yami: “Exactly. So drop it already.”
Yuu: “Y-yeah. Got it. Sorry.”
Yami: “…”
Don’t believe that so easily, you idiot.
Don’t act all hurt on your own, you idiot.
Is that really what you think I’m like?
Or are you just trying to believe what’s easiest to accept?
Yuu: “S-speaking of which… if you’re back in school, then your parents…”
Yami: “Ahh, if you mean my dad, that’s all been dealt with… That side of things is fine now.”
Yuu: “I see… that’s good.”
Good? No, it’s not.
Pick up on the nuance, for once.
My mom’s issues are still completely unresolved.
Why is it that Yuu always lets go of my hand at the most important moments? Idiot.
Yami: “So, what about you? How have you been lately?”
Yuu: “Me? Nothing much has changed.”
Yami: “Well, your girlfriend has.”
Yuu: “We’re not exactly dating yet…”
Yami: “Yet, huh…”
Yuu: “N-no, uh… Let’s just drop this topic too, okay?”
Why?
Why can’t I ask, Yuu?
Do you seriously think I don’t care anymore?
Do you really expect me to smile and say,
‘I’m rooting for you and Hikari, as your friend~’?
…What the hell, me.
My head’s a mess, bouncing all over the place.
This is my first time talking to Yuu in a year, and my words and thoughts are completely out of sync.
Do I want to lash out at him?
Do I want to talk about Hikari?
Do I want to reminisce about me and Yuu?
Do I want to interrogate him about Hikari and Yuu?
Besides, Yuu hasn’t done anything wrong.
I know that better than anyone.
He’s kind, sort of cute, a little too easy to sway…
But that time, I was the one who nudged him in that direction.
So I can’t. I can’t go any further than this.
I can’t tie him down.
Not to this place.
Not to me.
Yami: “You’re meeting up with Hikari, right?”
Yuu: “Ah…”
Yuu looked quickly at his phone, face twisting in a wince.
He must’ve seen a call from Hikari.
Yami: “Go on, Yuu.”
Yuu: “But…”
Yami: “What, you’re gonna break your promise to your girlfriend?”
Yuu hesitated for a moment, showing a trace of indecision.
But in the end, he reached the “obvious” conclusion and gave me a regretful look.
Yuu: “W-we’ll see each other again, right?”
Yami: “…Who knows.”
Yuu: “R-right, uh… your new contact info—”
Yami: “No way I’m giving that to a guy I dumped.”
Yuu: “O-oh… right…”
Yami: “Besides, if you’re still thinking about me even now, that’d be unfair to Hikari.”
Yuu: “That’s not…”
Yeah. That regretful look.
And that disappointed look.
The usual wimpy Yuu expression.
Yuu: “I still think about you all the time, Yami-senpai. Of course I do.”
But—
But the moment he said that,
Just for that one moment—he had the face of a real guy.
The face Yuu had when I was head over heels for him.
Yami: “Go.”
Yuu: “…Yeah.”
That’s why I hurried Yuu along.
Because I didn’t want him to see.
To see my lingering feelings.
Yuu: “Okay then, Yami-senpai, see you—”
Yami: “...!”
How could he—
Even though I’m in such a rush.
Yuu slowly turned to me with a smile once more.
And yet, and yet...
He turned his back to me and started walking away.
One step, two steps...
Yuu was moving away from me.
Leaving me forever.
Yami: “...What, are you trying to turn this into a memory or something, Yuu?”
Yuu: “Huh...?”
What the hell am I saying?
I’m the one who told him to leave.
I’m the one who said, make it a memory.
Yami: “You ignored me for an entire year... And now what? You want to part ways cleanly, like it’s some beautiful, bittersweet goodbye?”
Yuu: “Yami... senpai?”
What am I doing... What am I doing...
This is such a messed up grudge I’m throwing at him.
Yami: “You could’ve found me, Yuu... You knew I was going to the same school as Hikari, didn’t you?”
This is completely my fault—only mine.
Yami: “Even if I blocked your calls, it wouldn’t have been hard to find me.”
No doubt about it. I’m the one who was in the wrong. I’m the one being ugly.
Yami: “And yet... and yet... You never even tried to find me...!”
Anyone listening would think this was absurd, totally irrational.
Yami: “I’ve been going to school since last September, you know?”
Of course he wouldn’t have known that.
He wasn’t responsible for any of it.
Yami: “If you’d skipped school just once... If you’d waited in front of the station in the morning... If you’d found me and called out to me...”
That kind of thing—there’s no way you could’ve done it. It’s not realistic.
Yami: “And even if you had, I would’ve run away for sure. Even if you caught me, I would’ve pushed you away.”
In fact, if you had done all that, it’d be stalker behavior. Anyone would be creeped out.
Yami: “But still—if you had kept trying, if you had chased me down again and again—!”
But I’m not normal.
There’s something wrong with me.
That’s what I wanted you to do.
And I hated that you didn’t.
Yami: “If you had, then in the very end, I would’ve dropped everything, let go of it all, and run straight into your arms!”
Yuu: “...!”
My raised hand struck Yuu’s cheek with a dry smack.
He had come back—
Even though he had walked away, he was now right in front of me again.
Because he’d returned to be blamed, to be yelled at.
Yuu: “Yami-senpai, I—”
Yami: “Shut up! Don’t act like you know anything, Yuu!”
...
...
See? I knew it.
Kissing just tastes like spit.
...No—it just tastes like him.
Ugh... That’s why I was hiding.
Ever since he came to our school—into my classroom—I kept sneaking out.
So why, why... did I come back?
Why did you find me again, Yuu...?
The ringing in my ears scrambled my thoughts.
No—this wasn’t just ringing.
Thick raindrops had begun wetting the windows of the classroom.
Ayami Sudou, 18 years old...
Somehow, my ex ended up being my best friend’s crush.
...
...
Yami: “Come to think of it, you didn’t say it last year... did you?”
Yuu is crying.
I'm crying too.
Yami: “Goodbye, Yuu.”
Yuu: “There’s a limit to how cowardly you can be, you know...!”
But Hikari... wouldn’t understand.
She was hiding behind the door, and couldn’t see our faces.
Author’s post on X:
I’m not sure if Maruto was being sarcastic in his X post or not, but there’s one thing I do know: Yami absolutely sucks. And Yuu sucks too for standing there in silence while she spewed all that bullshit. The only character with some balls in this story is Hikari.
Thanks for the chapter!
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Dex-chan lover
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- Dec 25, 2024
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Never understood the hate myself. Also, SHE SAW HER AND KNEW THE WHOLE TIME?!?! The drama, the angst. Peak 10/10.
Dex-chan lover
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- Jun 18, 2018
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Cut my life into pieces.
Dex-chan lover
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- Aug 11, 2023
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Oh come on dont fucking do this again and aGaIn please just end it. Also how many more flashbacks you can't tell me he doesn't try to redeem yami. Poor childhood friend man she just wanted a peaceful vanilla flavoured romance.
Also I get yuu why should my man bother with the bull shit yami keeps spouting hes too fuckin kind but he understands if someone draws a line he should not cross it.
Also I get yuu why should my man bother with the bull shit yami keeps spouting hes too fuckin kind but he understands if someone draws a line he should not cross it.
Dex-chan lover
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- May 23, 2023
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Why? He's literally just at the wrong place in the wrong time. Their reunion is just coincidental. He's not the one who initiate the kiss. He's already moving on from Yami.
If it about the secret, why would you want to told someone who is not your girlfriend about your past relationship? It tooks time and not easy.
Member
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- Jan 8, 2023
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Cop out chapter. We the council of Yuu haters remain hating.
Dex-chan lover
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- May 23, 2023
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sh DIDN'T SAW HER. It's literally written right there.
Dex-chan lover
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- Dec 25, 2024
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Right? I'd like to think he'd let her know once they start dating or are just about to so she can make an informed decision. Doing it before is just weird, although now that he knows they are friends he better spill the beans.
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