Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 40 - Gears Setting Chaos In Motion

[noleafclover75]

He doesn't though, or at least it was never said he knew. We always saw them meet on a neutral ground or talk via phone.
And what we are sure of is that she did not know where he lived (as shown in that 21.5 extra aka sleepover chapter). So most likely the same applies to him too.

You are correct I got the setting of two chapters mixed up.

 

[the_Bear_from_Bearcave]

Is this why you started this very non-cliché story about a high school girl trying to confess to her childhood friend?

Eh, someone can enjoy cliched fluffy romance or romcom, but also want their drama with some more nuance and depth, and preferably adults so writer can't use "they're teenagers so they're dumb" on every character's stupid actions. Or they want more crazy drama, like with actual pregnancy, her older brother is the father, but he along with her whole clan got murdered and she blames herself for their deaths while seeking revenge, so she ditched Yuu after short, spicy romance, so he won't get pulled into her vendetta.

 

[BlargET]

YAMI, WHAT, IS, YOUR, MAJOR MALFUNCTION PRIVATE.

Like holy shit. Is this that new thing where women are upset that men leave them alone when told no instead of fulfilling thier rape fantasies?

 

[Burner5]

YAMI, WHAT, IS, YOUR, MAJOR MALFUNCTION PRIVATE.

Like holy shit. Is this that new thing where women are upset that men leave them alone when told no instead of fulfilling thier rape fantasies?

Yami is stuck between doing what she thinks is right (allowing Yuu to move on) and her desires (dating Yuu so that she can live a "normal" life). It's why she was so adamant about pushing Yuu away during the beginning of the conversation (because she was able to think rationally). It's why she becomes increasingly possessive as he relents to her (because it feels to her that he is giving up on her due to never really caring about her despite how their break-up went). It's also why she explodes on him and then uses him as a means to let out all her pent up emotions without caring what he thinks (because she feels rejected and hurt by his words despite knowing better, thus stopped caring as her emotions were too much for her to handle).

It is also why she cried at the end. She feels guilty about how she handled everything which prevented her from feeling the catharsis that the kiss would have brought her. That same guilt is the reason why she leaves Yuu like that.

 

[jrocker]

Here is an MTL of the novel chapter:

Spoiler: Chapter 40

Chapter 40: The Gear That Began to Go Awry

A Saturday in late September.
The dusky evening sky looked so dark, I could’ve mistaken it for nightfall—it seemed like it might start crying at any moment.

Yami: “Yami-senpai…?”
Yuu: “Nh… mm…”

And me—I looked like I might start crying at any moment too.

It’s been a year since we broke up without even saying goodbye.
A year since I cut off contact without warning.
A year since I dumped him without giving any reason.

Even though I was the one who treated him so horribly, so one-sidedly…
Why is it, why is it that all these intense feelings are bubbling up now?
Why do I find myself wanting to run to him and throw myself into his arms?

Yuu: “What? Why? Isn’t this… Hikari’s classroom…?”
Yami: “…”

But—
The moment that name, Hikari, came up…

My face twisted into a full-blown, sarcastic grin.

Yami: “…It’s been a while, Taa-kun…?”
Yuu: “Huh…?”

Teasing that openly confused look on Yuu’s face—
And as if trying to swallow the words:
Yami: "That’s your first reaction to seeing me again after all this time?!"

……

……

Yuu: “I can’t believe Yami-senpai was the ‘Aya-chan’ Hikari always talks about…”
Yami: “Hikari-chan’s always in your care~! Tehe♪”
Yuu: “Cut it out already…”
Yami: “…Sorry.”

We both calmed down a little—just a little.
But still couldn’t bring ourselves to care about the shards of the cup scattered across the floor.

Yuu: “You didn’t tell Hikari? About us?”
Yami: “Helloo? I only just found out myself, okay?”
(TL note: LIAAAR!)

Right there in the middle of the classroom,
Neither of us could take our eyes off each other’s face.

Yami: “I never imagined that the so-called ‘lady-killer Taa-kun’ I heard about was actually just plain ol’ Yuu the wimp.”
Yuu: “What’s this nonsense...”

Did he grow taller again?
But his face hasn’t changed much.
There’s still a trace of innocence in it.

Yuu: “So you’re back in school, huh, Yami-senpai.”
Yuu: “…That’s good.”
Yami: “Good? Please. Somehow I ended up in the same grade as you.”
Yuu: “Still, you moved up to second year, right? You’re going to class and everything?”
Yami: “…More or less.”

That’s because of your childhood friend, you know.
The moment I skip class, she messages me.
If I flunk a test, she forces me to study.

That nosy, annoying girl who’s just like you—
My best friend.
Thanks to her.

Yuu: “I was seriously worried, you know. When you suddenly stopped contacting me a year ago…”
Yami: “Well, I got bored. Of you, Yuu.”
Yuu: “…I… I see…”
Yami: “Exactly. So drop it already.”
Yuu: “Y-yeah. Got it. Sorry.”
Yami: “…”

Don’t believe that so easily, you idiot.
Don’t act all hurt on your own, you idiot.
Is that really what you think I’m like?
Or are you just trying to believe what’s easiest to accept?

Yuu: “S-speaking of which… if you’re back in school, then your parents…”
Yami: “Ahh, if you mean my dad, that’s all been dealt with… That side of things is fine now.”
Yuu: “I see… that’s good.”

Good? No, it’s not.
Pick up on the nuance, for once.
My mom’s issues are still completely unresolved.
Why is it that Yuu always lets go of my hand at the most important moments? Idiot.

Yami: “So, what about you? How have you been lately?”
Yuu: “Me? Nothing much has changed.”
Yami: “Well, your girlfriend has.”
Yuu: “We’re not exactly dating yet…”
Yami: “Yet, huh…”
Yuu: “N-no, uh… Let’s just drop this topic too, okay?”

Why?
Why can’t I ask, Yuu?
Do you seriously think I don’t care anymore?

Do you really expect me to smile and say,
‘I’m rooting for you and Hikari, as your friend~’?

…What the hell, me.
My head’s a mess, bouncing all over the place.
This is my first time talking to Yuu in a year, and my words and thoughts are completely out of sync.

Do I want to lash out at him?
Do I want to talk about Hikari?
Do I want to reminisce about me and Yuu?
Do I want to interrogate him about Hikari and Yuu?

Besides, Yuu hasn’t done anything wrong.
I know that better than anyone.

He’s kind, sort of cute, a little too easy to sway…
But that time, I was the one who nudged him in that direction.

So I can’t. I can’t go any further than this.
I can’t tie him down.

Not to this place.
Not to me.

Yami: “You’re meeting up with Hikari, right?”
Yuu: “Ah…”

Yuu looked quickly at his phone, face twisting in a wince.
He must’ve seen a call from Hikari.

Yami: “Go on, Yuu.”
Yuu: “But…”
Yami: “What, you’re gonna break your promise to your girlfriend?”

Yuu hesitated for a moment, showing a trace of indecision.
But in the end, he reached the “obvious” conclusion and gave me a regretful look.

Yuu: “W-we’ll see each other again, right?”
Yami: “…Who knows.”
Yuu: “R-right, uh… your new contact info—”
Yami: “No way I’m giving that to a guy I dumped.”
Yuu: “O-oh… right…”
Yami: “Besides, if you’re still thinking about me even now, that’d be unfair to Hikari.”
Yuu: “That’s not…”

Yeah. That regretful look.
And that disappointed look.
The usual wimpy Yuu expression.

Yuu: “I still think about you all the time, Yami-senpai. Of course I do.”

But—
But the moment he said that,
Just for that one moment—he had the face of a real guy.

The face Yuu had when I was head over heels for him.

Yami: “Go.”
Yuu: “…Yeah.”

That’s why I hurried Yuu along.

Because I didn’t want him to see.

To see my lingering feelings.

Yuu: “Okay then, Yami-senpai, see you—”
Yami: “...!”

How could he—
Even though I’m in such a rush.

Yuu slowly turned to me with a smile once more.

And yet, and yet...
He turned his back to me and started walking away.

One step, two steps...
Yuu was moving away from me.
Leaving me forever.

Yami: “...What, are you trying to turn this into a memory or something, Yuu?”
Yuu: “Huh...?”

What the hell am I saying?
I’m the one who told him to leave.
I’m the one who said, make it a memory.

Yami: “You ignored me for an entire year... And now what? You want to part ways cleanly, like it’s some beautiful, bittersweet goodbye?”
Yuu: “Yami... senpai?”

What am I doing... What am I doing...
This is such a messed up grudge I’m throwing at him.

Yami: “You could’ve found me, Yuu... You knew I was going to the same school as Hikari, didn’t you?”

This is completely my fault—only mine.

Yami: “Even if I blocked your calls, it wouldn’t have been hard to find me.”

No doubt about it. I’m the one who was in the wrong. I’m the one being ugly.

Yami: “And yet... and yet... You never even tried to find me...!”

Anyone listening would think this was absurd, totally irrational.

Yami: “I’ve been going to school since last September, you know?”

Of course he wouldn’t have known that.
He wasn’t responsible for any of it.

Yami: “If you’d skipped school just once... If you’d waited in front of the station in the morning... If you’d found me and called out to me...”

That kind of thing—there’s no way you could’ve done it. It’s not realistic.

Yami: “And even if you had, I would’ve run away for sure. Even if you caught me, I would’ve pushed you away.”

In fact, if you had done all that, it’d be stalker behavior. Anyone would be creeped out.

Yami: “But still—if you had kept trying, if you had chased me down again and again—!”

But I’m not normal.
There’s something wrong with me.

That’s what I wanted you to do.
And I hated that you didn’t.

Yami: “If you had, then in the very end, I would’ve dropped everything, let go of it all, and run straight into your arms!”

Yuu: “...!”

My raised hand struck Yuu’s cheek with a dry smack.

He had come back—
Even though he had walked away, he was now right in front of me again.

Because he’d returned to be blamed, to be yelled at.

Yuu: “Yami-senpai, I—”
Yami: “Shut up! Don’t act like you know anything, Yuu!”

...

...

See? I knew it.
Kissing just tastes like spit.

...No—it just tastes like him.

Ugh... That’s why I was hiding.

Ever since he came to our school—into my classroom—I kept sneaking out.

So why, why... did I come back?

Why did you find me again, Yuu...?

The ringing in my ears scrambled my thoughts.
No—this wasn’t just ringing.

Thick raindrops had begun wetting the windows of the classroom.

Ayami Sudou, 18 years old...

Somehow, my ex ended up being my best friend’s crush.

...

...

Yami: “Come to think of it, you didn’t say it last year... did you?”

Yuu is crying.
I'm crying too.

Yami: “Goodbye, Yuu.”
Yuu: “There’s a limit to how cowardly you can be, you know...!”

But Hikari... wouldn’t understand.

She was hiding behind the door, and couldn’t see our faces.

---

Author’s post on X:

---

I’m not sure if Maruto was being sarcastic in his X post or not, but there’s one thing I do know: Yami absolutely sucks. And Yuu sucks too for standing there in silence while she spewed all that bullshit. The only character with some balls in this story is Hikari.

Thanks for the chapter!

They both suck but Yami was regretting something and Yuu was making bad decisions. He saw he missed a call and was going to continue ignoring Hikari except Yami went to push to try and help her friend. She then was an awful friend because she lost to her feelings where she finally saw the man she wanted him to be. Yuu also specifies in this that he always thinks of Yami. He isn't over her and doesn't even seem like he wants to be. He is being forced away and chooses that for him to best get over her AFTER seeing her again (and knowing he still wants her) is to ask out a childhood friend he knows is in love with him that he probably stopped liking when he dated Yami

 

[wozbond]

Now we are most likely to have yet another fucking flashback that may put him in a better light, but at this point. I don't care, he is still a worthless man who will only ever make sistuations worse and not better. He needs to fix himself before he can think about love at this point. If he can't do that, all he will have is failed relationships.

If relationship success is the measuring stick here, then all three characters have made situations worse and not better. NONE have a successful relationship, so they're all badly flawed.
If being unable to confess earlier makes Yuu useless, then Hikari is useless as well. If being oblivious to signals makes Yuu useless, then Hikari is useless as well. And if reacting badly to a situation makes Yuu useless, then Hikari slapping Yuu without knowing all the facts makes her useless as well. Apparently everyone sucks here.

 

[jrocker]

Thx for the TL!


Nah fuck him still. Nothing has changed
Hikari deserves so much better than him
He and yami (even tho i do sympathize with her terrible home life) can go FUCK THEMSELVES






couple hours later edit


so i wanted to read some of these comments and then do a quick reread of the entire manga just in case i forgot anything major.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but i want to make my reasons clear for why I don't like Yuu. to start, Yami is worse than yuu, im just giving some reasonings on why i dislike yuu and why he doesn't derserve hikari. The reason why I dislike Yuu is because he is unwilling to confront the truth for hikari. To start off, I decided to do another reread of the manga, and its very clear that early on, yuu always was thinking of yami post breakup. To start, chapter 12, now knowing the majority of the timeline (unless we got yuu's pov from that far back), its clear that yuu was refering to yami, not hikari. We just assumed it was hikari bc we didn't know the history yet. Also side note, on page 2, Yuu admits that he went on a date with pigtail girl, so i don't believe he always loved hikari since childhood (actually idk if he said he loves hikari since childhood or since start of highschool so i could be wrong). And yes, she asked him, but that doesn't excuse anything, he still choose to go on a date.

Chapter 16, pages 2-4, now knowing the history (aka the middle school arc between yuu and yami), its clear that the reason why yuu wanted to shift the conversation and having that forced smile was bc he didn't want to reveal that he was in a relationship prior to his feelings. if you reread the chapter, its clear that yuu never quickly denies the dating rumors, its cus he was dating, he wasn't dating hikari though. he didn't want to reveal to them that he was in a prior relationship.

side note for chapter 17, i think a lot of people are misinterpretating what hikari says about if yuu confessed when they were younger. the exact line from page 5 is "If he told me he liked me at that time.......... For me back then, who's never even had the idea of love cross her mind, maybe I would have turned him down" The key word is maybe, she wouldn't have known if she would reject his feelings or not. She only thought of him as a childhood friend when they were younger, she wasn't expecting him to confess his feelings to her, so she wouldn't know how to react. She's not outright rejecting, she just was unsure.

chapter 19, it is clear that the reason why Yuu didn't originally want to go to the festival was because he knew yami was there. he didn't want to confront her. In this chapter, chapter 40 page 15, yami yells at yuu that he knew she went to the same school for over a year didn't he. I disagree to the argument that yuu wanted to get closure, he didn't want closure, he had to confront yami before confessing to hikari. He didn't want to go to the festival bc he was worried that he and hikari was gonna run into yami and their relationship was gonna get revealed. He only went bc hikari was begging and looked upset that he rejected her. if he really cared about closure and making hikari his #1 priority, he could've just left when he said bye, but he chose to stay. if he really wanted closure, he has a year to meet yami to end it.

with those reminders and my interpretations of those chapters, the reason why I very much dislike Yuu is because he was not going to tell hikari the truth about his relationship with yami. He did not want to tell her, he wanted to avoid yami while trying to get closer to hikari. with the last 3 chapters. as a reminder chapter 40 takes place right before the confession, 38-39. on page4 of ch40, he gets 100% confirmation that yami and hikari are very close friends. this is the key part of why i dislike him, sorry for repeating alot. he confesses to hikari without ever telling her about their relationship. that is complete bs for him to act like he really loved hikari but not tell her about his past. TO BE CLEAR, I don't have a problem with him having past relationships, everyone is allowed a past. The problem is that because he and yami are so revelant to hikari's current friendships and bonds, it is so disrespectful that he never tells her about his past with yami. we see in chapter 38-39, he had no plans of telling her about yami. he just want to get with hikari without thinking of telling her the truth. if it wasn't for hikari seeing them kiss, she would've been lied too. and yes, yami forced a kiss on yuu, BUT yuu never told her about to kiss (aka the i hate liars in the end of ch39). I also find it dumb that yuu clearly thinks he can just date hikari and not ever run into yami when he knows that they are best friends. TBC again, all of this also applies to ayami, i think she is worse, im just talking about yuu. and before anyone says, lets says next chapter before hikari says another word, yuu confesses about ayami, that doesn't change anything, he wanted to get her to go out with him before telling the truth, nothing would have changed.

Yuu said he loves hikari for a long time, but clearly didn't respect her enough to be honest with her.

TO REITERATE, i don't have a problem with yuu having a prior relationship with ayami, i'm upset that he never choose to tell hikari the truth about him and yami past relationship at any point. there has truth and respect in a relationship, but yuu wanted to avoid and lie, so I do not like him, hikari deserves so much better,

my apologizes for the ranting, i just wanted to give my reasoninings why i don't like him. If you disagree with me, i am happy for you. I am not here to change anyone's mind. at the end of the day we can all just agree to disagree. If you read all this, thank you and apologizes for any misspellings.

I'm with you, but one other thing you miss is in this chapter page 4, 9/10. Page 4 he pretty much admits his bigger concern is making sure that Yami DIDN'T tell Hikari about their relationship. He immediately brings it up once realizing she is the best friend Hikari always talks about (also showing how little he cares about Hikari if he never was interested in knowing about her friends and not identifying Yami as his ex).

Also look at what happens on page 9/10 he is willing to ignore his promise with Hikari to stay with Yami showing he still thinks Yami is more important. It's Yami who makes him leave to make Hikari happy. He even admits he still cares about her yet the whole speech Yami give kinda shows that for his saying of care he does nothing. Page 12 he blushes as he leaves saying that he will see her again. He is implying he would still have a relationship (not saying romantic or not) with her after and that makes him happy yet he still is going to confess? Even at the end on page 22 he cries, but I don't think its because they kissed. I think its because she is saying goodbye and it won't be as he wishes where they will have a relationship. And from this he goes and confesses? The guy doesn't mean it but wants a rebound and tried to pick the easiest target.

As for Yami, she is trying to be a good friend but I think her entire character as shown by this flashback and her breaking is "why do I always have to be the one to give up?'. She doesn't want Yuu to go she wanted him to show she cared but did it wrong. Even now he admits to thinking about her yet that didn't help as she suffered. He brushed off the problems she had and just assumed her life magically got completely better once she made him leave. Yami is a terrible friend for what she did and not telling Hikari BUT even this all shows that Yuu doesn't care and his version of care is to say something but not have any backbone to actually support a partner.

 

[Litreara]

Yuu also specifies in this that he always thinks of Yami.

Yes, but not in a romantic way.

He isn't over her and doesn't even seem like he wants to be.

No, he’s over her, and it’s clear he wants to date Hikari:

Yami: “So, what about you? How have you been lately?”
Yuu: “Me? Nothing much has changed.”
Yami: “Well, your girlfriend has.”
Yuu: “We’re not exactly dating yet…”
Yami: “Yet, huh…”
Yuu: “N-no, uh… Let’s just drop this topic too, okay?”

 

[LordofAlI]

Honestly feel bad for Yuu

 

[story645]

b/c i don't think yami opened up to anyone else about the situation with her mom

Pretty sure she alludes to her mom being messed up when she brings her friends to her ex step dads penthouse- which she tells them was originally a gift to his mistress.

Yuu didn't count this as a second heartbreak from Yami? I don't buy it.

I think that Yuu lying to himself here is how the author gets to Aya/Yuu endgame, but more likely is that Yuu is having the same reaction as many of the commentators - that he's just very done w/ the tests he didn't know Aya was giving him.
Though I think it's good for Aya that she finally owned up to him about all the head games she was playing. It's growth for her to be honest and gives him the agency to make an informed decision on whether he wants to participate. Granted, she should have also been brave enough to let him say his piece.

anymore doesnt mean he has to stop caring for her.

Yeah like he very much shouldn't stay in contact with her but he's the same brand of nice guy idiot as Hikari so of course he's gonna try to keep a lifeline open.

Yami kept him in the dark about alot of her family problems.

He kinda sorta knew about them and could have forced the conversation, like Hikari is trying to do instead of accepting his confession. But if he had the maturity to do that, he would have also probably recognized that Aya was testing him.

Even after he said he loved her.

I think Aya's "go fall in love" b/f she ghosts was testing him b/c I don't think he ever tells her he loves her. Unless it's a translation error, even his response to that was a sort of present tense he's in the process of doing so.

Also, really weird amount of misogyny that this Manga gets out of people, yeesh

Is uh fun? reading the comment section as a woman 🙃

Like Yami and Hikari aren't crazy for being upset w/ Yuu - he wasn't the best boyfriend or friend. Yes they should have been more honest w/ him, but he should have been more honest with them - which like the great big lesson here is everyone should have been more honest w/ each other and themselves.

Like holy shit. Is this that new thing where women are upset that men leave them alone when told no instead of fulfilling thier rape fantasies?

So yes she's being irrational but I think in the context of their relationship it's about fairness. Like she feels she took the initiative to start their relationship (sex) and maintain it (planning their dates) and is expressing frustration that she feels he didn't take any initiative to try and save it.

 

[GennArc]

also showing how little he cares about Hikari if he never was interested in knowing about her friends and not identifying Yami as his ex

Not sure how fair this is. Yami never realized Hikari's childhood friend was Yuu until she saw his real first name mentioned, so the same could very much apply to Yuu. And Yami most likely acted quite differently with them.
We don't know how much Hikari talked about her, but I wouldn't just go and blame him for not realizing Aya-chan was Yami-senpai all along.

Like she feels she took the initiative to start their relationship (sex) and maintain it (planning their dates) and is expressing frustration that she feels he didn't take any initiative to try and save it.

I don't think it's about who contributed more, she was just frustrated with him keeping accepting everything that happens. She cared about him a lot and wanted him to care equally and not just give up.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Yes, but not in a romantic way.


No, he’s over her, and it’s clear he wants to date Hikari:

It's weird to me how this is even up for debate to some people- yeah Yuu is pretty wishy washy but these past few chapters in particular have made it V E R Y apparant he wants to be with Hikari and his feelings for her are far more prominent than what he ever did feel for Yami

Honestly during the time they were together if given the chance- at this point I am basically certain he would've chosen Hikari over Yami

He's over Yami but he still needed closure and finally got it

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I think that Yuu lying to himself here is how the author gets to Aya/Yuu endgame

Tbh I think the the possibility of that rought is fucking cooked lol

Like Yami and Hikari aren't crazy for being upset w/ Yuu - he wasn't the best boyfriend or friend. Yes they should have been more honest w/ him, but he should have been more honest with them - which like the great big lesson here is everyone should have been more honest w/ each other and themselves.

Yeah honestly that's the big take away here- EVERYONE should have been more open and honest no one is TRULY innocent imo...but there all emotionally immature teens who are still learning we should criticize their actions but retain judgment for if they refuse to learn from them at least in my opinion (Yuu seriously man man tf up and start being open and honest with Hikari PLEASE)

So yes she's being irrational but I think in the context of their relationship it's about fairness. Like she feels she took the initiative to start their relationship (sex) and maintain it (planning their dates) and is expressing frustration that she feels he didn't take any initiative to try and save it.

Tbh...I think she was definitely fat more invested in their relationship than he was I think him still being in love with Hikari (even if he had no confidence he'd ever have a shot) prevented him from fully getting invested in there relationship

This isn't to say, I think he felt nothing or didn't really care about her I he think he did both but there's only so much you can do in a relationship when your heart truly belongs to someone else

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Honestly feel bad for Yuu

Yeah same he's deserving of criticism, but for me? yeah, it's really hard not to empathize with the guy he's not having an easy time either, with all this

I'm retaining my anger towards him if he refuses to learn from his actions

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I'm with you, but one other thing you miss is in this chapter page 4, 9/10. Page 4 he pretty much admits his bigger concern is making sure that Yami DIDN'T tell Hikari about their relationship. He immediately brings it up once realizing she is the best friend Hikari always talks about (also showing how little he cares about Hikari if he never was interested in knowing about her friends and not identifying Yami as his ex).

This isn’t accurate at all lol he's a fucking teen thinking "oh if I keep this important thing a secret that could cause issues then those issues will never happen" is TOTALLY in line with how teenagers think "shows how little he cares about Hikari" is the exact OPPOSITE reasoning why he's acting that way how Hikari feels and how it could affect their relationship is exactly what he is worried about

Yeah hiding it isn't the smart or responsible thing to do but like I said he's a damn teenager you're nuts if you're expecting full emotional maturity from one lol

Also look at what happens on page 9/10 he is willing to ignore his promise with Hikari to stay with Yami showing he still thinks Yami is more important. It's Yami who makes him leave to make Hikari happy. He even admits he still cares about her yet the whole speech Yami give kinda shows that for his saying of care he does nothing.

You can 100% still care about someone including an ex and it isn't inherently romantic or mean they're "more important"

And he didn't even say he was going to stay he just didn't think the conversation was over yet

Page 12 he blushes as he leaves saying that he will see her again. He is implying he would still have a relationship (not saying romantic or not) with her after and that makes him happy yet he still is going to confess?

Yeah he still cares about her so it makes sense he wouldn't want to basically be completely cut off again

He cares about her but no longer holds romantic feelings for her anymore

Even at the end on page 22 he cries, but I don't think its because they kissed. I think its because she is saying goodbye and it won't be as he wishes where they will have a relationship. And from this he goes and confesses? The guy doesn't mean it but wants a rebound and tried to pick the easiest target.

Lmao it isn't a rebound tf are you smoking? It's been made VERY apparant by now Yuu has feelings for Hikari and HAS had these feelings for years even in the novelization of chapter 38 it mentions set the rejection was a "heartbreak" and confirms he was telling her the true when he confessed to quote it exactly

"I didn’t lie.
I’ve loved Hikari, for so long, ever since way back.

But still, there’s no denying it—
today, I was the worst.

Takamura Yuu, sixteen years old...

Today, I experienced my fourth heartbreak."

If anything YAMI was FAR more of a rebound for him over the fact he felt like Hikari would never see him the same way

His feelings for Hikari NEVER went away you're objectively wrong in saying he didn’t mean it

As for Yami, she is trying to be a good friend but I think her entire character as shown by this flashback and her breaking is "why do I always have to be the one to give up?'. She doesn't want Yuu to go she wanted him to show she cared but did it wrong. Even now he admits to thinking about her yet that didn't help as she suffered. He brushed off the problems she had and just assumed her life magically got completely better once she made him leave. Yami is a terrible friend for what she did and not telling Hikari BUT even this all shows that Yuu doesn't care and his version of care is to say something but not have any backbone to actually support a partner.

Yuu absolutely care lol him being wishy washy doesn't negate that

 

[Chifuee]

God I love Yami, hope her and Yuu can make it work again

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Thx for the TL!


Nah fuck him still. Nothing has changed
Hikari deserves so much better than him
He and yami (even tho i do sympathize with her terrible home life) can go FUCK THEMSELVES






couple hours later edit


so i wanted to read some of these comments and then do a quick reread of the entire manga just in case i forgot anything major.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but i want to make my reasons clear for why I don't like Yuu. to start, Yami is worse than yuu, im just giving some reasonings on why i dislike yuu and why he doesn't derserve hikari. The reason why I dislike Yuu is because he is unwilling to confront the truth for hikari. To start off, I decided to do another reread of the manga, and its very clear that early on, yuu always was thinking of yami post breakup. To start, chapter 12, now knowing the majority of the timeline (unless we got yuu's pov from that far back), its clear that yuu was refering to yami, not hikari. We just assumed it was hikari bc we didn't know the history yet. Also side note, on page 2, Yuu admits that he went on a date with pigtail girl, so i don't believe he always loved hikari since childhood (actually idk if he said he loves hikari since childhood or since start of highschool so i could be wrong). And yes, she asked him, but that doesn't excuse anything, he still choose to go on a date.

Chapter 16, pages 2-4, now knowing the history (aka the middle school arc between yuu and yami), its clear that the reason why yuu wanted to shift the conversation and having that forced smile was bc he didn't want to reveal that he was in a relationship prior to his feelings. if you reread the chapter, its clear that yuu never quickly denies the dating rumors, its cus he was dating, he wasn't dating hikari though. he didn't want to reveal to them that he was in a prior relationship.

side note for chapter 17, i think a lot of people are misinterpretating what hikari says about if yuu confessed when they were younger. the exact line from page 5 is "If he told me he liked me at that time.......... For me back then, who's never even had the idea of love cross her mind, maybe I would have turned him down" The key word is maybe, she wouldn't have known if she would reject his feelings or not. She only thought of him as a childhood friend when they were younger, she wasn't expecting him to confess his feelings to her, so she wouldn't know how to react. She's not outright rejecting, she just was unsure.

chapter 19, it is clear that the reason why Yuu didn't originally want to go to the festival was because he knew yami was there. he didn't want to confront her. In this chapter, chapter 40 page 15, yami yells at yuu that he knew she went to the same school for over a year didn't he. I disagree to the argument that yuu wanted to get closure, he didn't want closure, he had to confront yami before confessing to hikari. He didn't want to go to the festival bc he was worried that he and hikari was gonna run into yami and their relationship was gonna get revealed. He only went bc hikari was begging and looked upset that he rejected her. if he really cared about closure and making hikari his #1 priority, he could've just left when he said bye, but he chose to stay. if he really wanted closure, he has a year to meet yami to end it.

with those reminders and my interpretations of those chapters, the reason why I very much dislike Yuu is because he was not going to tell hikari the truth about his relationship with yami. He did not want to tell her, he wanted to avoid yami while trying to get closer to hikari. with the last 3 chapters. as a reminder chapter 40 takes place right before the confession, 38-39. on page4 of ch40, he gets 100% confirmation that yami and hikari are very close friends. this is the key part of why i dislike him, sorry for repeating alot. he confesses to hikari without ever telling her about their relationship. that is complete bs for him to act like he really loved hikari but not tell her about his past. TO BE CLEAR, I don't have a problem with him having past relationships, everyone is allowed a past. The problem is that because he and yami are so revelant to hikari's current friendships and bonds, it is so disrespectful that he never tells her about his past with yami. we see in chapter 38-39, he had no plans of telling her about yami. he just want to get with hikari without thinking of telling her the truth. if it wasn't for hikari seeing them kiss, she would've been lied too. and yes, yami forced a kiss on yuu, BUT yuu never told her about to kiss (aka the i hate liars in the end of ch39). I also find it dumb that yuu clearly thinks he can just date hikari and not ever run into yami when he knows that they are best friends. TBC again, all of this also applies to ayami, i think she is worse, im just talking about yuu. and before anyone says, lets says next chapter before hikari says another word, yuu confesses about ayami, that doesn't change anything, he wanted to get her to go out with him before telling the truth, nothing would have changed.

Yuu said he loves hikari for a long time, but clearly didn't respect her enough to be honest with her.

TO REITERATE, i don't have a problem with yuu having a prior relationship with ayami, i'm upset that he never choose to tell hikari the truth about him and yami past relationship at any point. there has truth and respect in a relationship, but yuu wanted to avoid and lie, so I do not like him, hikari deserves so much better,

my apologizes for the ranting, i just wanted to give my reasoninings why i don't like him. If you disagree with me, i am happy for you. I am not here to change anyone's mind. at the end of the day we can all just agree to disagree. If you read all this, thank you and apologizes for any misspellings.

Honestly, pretty good write up! but there is two things I want to talk about real quick

First "(actually idk if he said he loves hikari since childhood or since start of highschool so i could be wrong)"

You are wrong due to extra details in the novelization of chapter 38 there he says
"It's true... since middle school... no, since we first became friends."

Then at the end it gives a bit of narration from his point of view where he says

"I didn’t lie.
I’ve loved Hikari, for so long, ever since way back."

So we know definitively he's been in love with her for YEARS ever since childhood

Now the other part I want to talk about is your main point essentially "I dislike Yuu is because he is unwilling to confront the truth for hikari."

Minus the dislike part I COMPLETELY agree his unwillingness to be open and honest with Hikari is a serious the problem he has but personally i can empathize with him

He's a nice guy but several lacks confidence, has feelings of inferiority to Hika mix this in with the fact he's a teen so he's not remotely emotionally mature him keeping quiet about everything that happened makes ALOT of sense and I don't think he inherently is doing it for intentionally selfish reasons I really do think he thought it was best for both him and Hikari if he kept it hidden and it isn't until now he's realizing how wrong he was

Now this doesn't absolve him of criticism in fact I think he NEEDS to be i'm criticized over this because he he really needs to learn the lesson that bottling, up important secrets like this is AWFUL, very shitty and honestly disrespectful towards Hikari and it's a lesson basically, everyone has to end up learning eventually and even he says in the novelization of CH 38

"But still, there’s no denying it—
today, I was the worst."

To me this is a sign of self reflection and genuine realization his behavior was wrong and to me that says ALOT and makes me at least slightly hopeful he's actually gonna learn from it and change or at least that's my opinion on it

(Hope this made sense halfway through writing my sleep pills started kicking in(

 

[middle-the-nerd]

God I love Yami, hope her and Yuu can make it work again

Yeah sorry man but I dont think that rought is just cooked it's incinerated

 

[nogoodsumbeach]

I just don't see how it can feel right after what happened 30 minutes before.

For me its just about the moment, Yuu finally have some closure on his 1st ever real relationship so he might think he can finally move forward with his life like finally confessing to the girl he has loved for a long time.

But yeah you are right tho, timing is a bit iffy for it to be "feels right" moment lol, only 30 mins after that whole fiasco.

Well whatever Yuu reason for confessing straight after is, i just really dont want it to be a "i just have to" lol
Like him not planning to confess initially but his emotion got the better of him in that room/closet is much better scenario for me lol

 

[nogoodsumbeach]

Lmao it isn't a rebound tf are you smoking? It's been made VERY apparant by now Yuu has feelings for Hikari and HAS had these feelings for years even in the novelization of chapter 38 it mentions set the rejection was a "heartbreak" and confirms he was telling her the true when he confessed to quote it exactly

"I didn’t lie.
I’ve loved Hikari, for so long, ever since way back.

But still, there’s no denying it—
today, I was the worst.

Takamura Yuu, sixteen years old...

Today, I experienced my fourth heartbreak."

If anything YAMI was FAR more of a rebound for him over the fact he felt like Hikari would never see him the same way

His feelings for Hikari NEVER went away you're objectively wrong in saying he didn’t mean it

Yeah i just dont see it with the Yuu was crying because he wanted to get back together with Yami theory.

I said it before on here, but that whole rant/kiss was a big suggestion from Yami that she is still in love with Yuu. And if Yuu really wanted to get back together with Yami he would try to there and then, but he didnt and thats why im convinced he is not in love with her anymore.

Yuu crying because he finally has some closure to his first ever real relationship is surely a more realistic scenario? Like after being ghosted, i dont think he could talk about it with anyone else and that quite a hard thing to deal with if your an adult, let alone when you are still a teen.