Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 41 - Everything, Falling Apart

[Rarez]

You are correct in that Yuu and Yami did not date behind Hikari's back. Yuu was not romantically involved with Hikari at that time and Yami was not friends with Hikari. No one is disputing that.

This is what makes Yuu and Yami Innocent in this situation.

"Hey, person I'm about to ask out, did you know I used to date your best friend? Thought you should know first so you can talk to them before deciding to go out with me."

The correct way to write this is
"Hey, person I'm about to ask out, did you know I used to date your best friend before you even met each other?

The "bad deed" that they did was before Hikari was even involved.
Hikari just inadvertently included herself between their problem.

No one in these threads is advocating full 100% disclosure regardless of the circumstances.

Yes. You people are. Considering the circumstances sides with Yuu and Yami more.

are y'all out there just dating your best friend's ex without even talking to your best friend?

You do know this applies to Hikari more than either of em'

• Hikari's trying to date Yami's Ex.
• Hikari's Best Friends with Yuu's Ghostin Ex.

 

[story645]

You do know this applies to Hikari more than either of em'

• Hikari's trying to date Yami's Ex.
• Hikari's Best Friends with Yuu's Ghostin Ex.

Legit, are you trolling? When Hikari found out that there was maybe something between them, she rejected the confession and went to clear the air w/ both of them.

 

[Rarez]

Legit, are you trolling? When Hikari found out that there was maybe something between them, she rejected the confession and went to clear the air w/ both of them.

Just saying why using that reasoning is bad.
Imagining becoming best friends with the person who's wronged your other best friend.
and
All Yuu have to do is say he not dating anyone. His past dating experiences (Because Yami and Hikari weren't friends then) is irrelevant.

 

[Rarez]

I agree, Yuu/Aya would have little reason to think Hikari was talking about Aya/Yuu, but Hikari was so descriptive that it was super easy for them to connect the dots. Which was addressing your claim that Hikari wasn't all that discriptive.

The counterpoint is that the fact. Regardless of how much Yuu/Yami is trying to connect the dots. Hikari being "descriptive" would immediately reveal that she was talking about Yuu/Yami.

 

[rgyyttt]

You do know this applies to Hikari more than either of em'

• Hikari's trying to date Yami's Ex.
• Hikari's Best Friends with Yuu's Ghostin Ex.

That's exactly what Hikari did -- she told Yami many things about Yuu and vice versa, confronted Yami to talk about the whole thing instead of just accepting the confession and kissing him. Which Yami and Yuu should've done at the school festival but they didn't

 

[Rarez]

That's exactly what Hikari did

Good for her. But the situation is different for Yami and Yuu.

Which Yami and Yuu should've done at the school festival but they didn't

The main difference is:

• Yuu dated a complete stranger to Hikari (at the time)
• Yami is a complete stranger to Hikari (at the time)

It's Yuu and Yami's Prerogative to explain their past dating history. And all Yuu need to do is say he ain't dating anyone currently.
Yami however should explain that she ghosted Yuu to Hikari though.

 

[story645]

Hikari being "descriptive" would immediately reveal that she was talking Yuu/Yami.

Aya suspected "Figures... it really was him, huh..." (novel sidestory 2, forgot manga chapter). Yuu may have given he didn't want to go to the festival but we don't have his POV. Also, while I said I'm a bit surprised he didn't put two and two together, Hikari sees straight through Aya's nonchalent grumpy cat act so maybe the Aya filtered through Hikari colored glasses is different from the Aya Yuu knows.

Imagining becoming best friends with the person who's wronged your other best friend.

It's Yuu Prerogative to explain his past dating history to someone uninvolved at the time.

Hikari didn't know b/c Yuu never told her, which is one of the reasons she's upset at the situation. By the time we get to the confession, Yuu and Aya are both aware that Hikari is now involved. Yes she wasn't involved at the time but like that doesn't really matter b/c their past relationship is actively affecting her in the present.

 

[Beatrice]

Sounds like Yuu did nothing wrong lmao.

Imagine getting all this shit because you're a male prop in a romance love triangle between the 2 main heroines.

 

[Rarez]

Yuu and Aya are both aware that Hikari is now involved

Ok. Let's try this way.
How involved is she?

• She wasn't dating with Yuu back then
• She wasn't friends with Yami back then
• She wasn't even interested in dating yuu back then (This makes this lopsided to Yuu and Yami)
• She find out the same time Yuu and Yami did.

Yes she wasn't involved at the time but like that doesn't really matter b/c their past relationship is actively affecting her in the present.

If it about the kiss. That totally Yami's fault.
If it about they dated in the past. That a Hikari problem.

 

[rgyyttt]

It's Yuu and Yami's Prerogative to explain their past dating history.

If he wanted to confess and said something like 'I've always loved you' during the confession, then that's not prerogative. It's simply a lie, and unfortunately for him, Hikari called him out on it directly.

 

[Rarez]

If he wanted to confess and said something like 'I've always loved you' during the confession, then that's not prerogative. It's simply a lie, and unfortunately for him, Hikari called him out on it directly.

So....

So Yuu is bad for not "Saving Himself" for HIkari?

 

[rgyyttt]

So....

For not telling the truth. That he hasn't always loved her, why do you think Hikari would call him a liar though?

 

[Rarez]

For not telling the truth. That he isn't always loved her

If we talking about the kiss, That's totally Yami's fault.
If we just talking about the fact Yuu and Yami were in a relationship. That's a Hikari problem. are you saying the only someone is supposed to show their love is by staying a virgin or celibate?

why do you think Hikari would call him a liar though?

Is it a lie though?

There's honesty and There's sharing everything. For the most part, Yuu thought she was uninvolved in that. (It's pretty lopsided how Yuu and Yami are "innocent" in that situation.)

Logically you won't be able to everything about yourself to another person regardless of how close you are.
So is everyone lying to their loved ones by not telling everything about themselves?

 

[rgyyttt]

If we talking about the kiss, That's totally Yami's fault.
If we just talking about the fact Yuu and Yami were in a relationship. That's a Hikari problem. are you saying the only someone is supposed to show their love is by staying a virgin or celibate?



Is it a lie though?

You really don't understand or you don't want to understand? He said he's always loved Hikari since childhood. No, obviously not. He dated Yami for half a year - how can he claim he's always loved Hikari since childhood? How can you say this isn't a lie? If Hikari hadn't seen what happened in the classroom, would she have accepted his confession? I believe she would have. But she did see it, she knows that his 'I've always loved you' was a lie, that's why she called him a liar.

 

[HellJester]

This is what makes Yuu and Yami Innocent in this situation.

The correct way to write this is
"Hey, person I'm about to ask out, did you know I used to date your best friend before you even met each other?

The "bad deed" that they did was before Hikari was even involved.
Hikari just inadvertently included herself between their problem.

I said I'd drop it but that was a lie lol.

So I think you're misinterpreting what we're saying. We're not saying it was wrong of Yuu and Yami to date. You're right in that they're innocent in that scenario. What we're saying is wrong is the fact that neither Yuu nor Yami mentioned the fact they were dating to Hikari.

It sounds like you're saying there's no need for Yuu and Yami to mention they dated to Hikari since the entire relationship happened before Yami and Hikari became friends. This isn't some statute of limitations and time's run out to prosecute them. It shouldn't matter if it happened before Yami and Hikari were friends. They're friends now and you typically don't date a friend's ex without getting their blessing. It doesn't matter how long ago they dated. It's an unspoken rule.

You do know this applies to Hikari more than either of em'

• Hikari's trying to date Yami's Ex.
• Hikari's Best Friends with Yuu's Ghostin Ex.

There's a world of difference in foreknowledge. Both Yami and Yuu were aware of their connections to Hikari when Yuu asked Hikari out. Up until the moment Hikari saw the kiss she had no way of knowing that Yami and Yuu were connected as Yami kept it from her for months. At any time after the amusement park date, Yami could have mentioned to Hikari that Yuu was her ex and then it would be up to Hikari as how to proceed.

You can't blame Hikari for not knowing information that both Yuu and Yami purposefully kept from her. You absolutely can lay some blame on Yuu and Yami for keeping secrets.

Both Yuu and Yami knew not telling Hikari was wrong based on their reactions. Yami was crying in the rain the moment she found out about Yuu being Hikari's crush. She absolutely kept it hidden because she was afraid Hikari wouldn't be friends with her anymore. Yuu didn't bother to share any of this information with Hikari and in the brief moment in Chapter 39 where we get his POV we see that he realizes he was wrong and was awful to her.

The reason it's so wrong that Yuu and Yami kept secrets from Hikari is it goes to show that they don't trust Hikari to do the right thing. They are refusing to give her any agency in the confession.

Just saying why using that reasoning is bad.
Imagining becoming best friends with the person who's wronged your other best friend.
and
All Yuu have to do is say he not dating anyone. His past dating experiences (Because Yami and Hikari weren't friends then) is irrelevant.

Again, Hikari became friends with Yami having zero clue that Yami ghosted Yuu. How in the world would she know that if Yuu and Yami kept everything a secret. You are not arguing in good faith.

Ok. Let's try this way.
How involved is she?

• She wasn't dating with Yuu back then
• She wasn't friends with Yami back then
• She wasn't even interested in dating yuu back then (This makes this lopsided to Yuu and Yami)
• She find out the same time Yuu and Yami did.

If it about the kiss. That totally Yami's fault.
If it about they dated in the past. That a Hikari problem.

You have to be trolling. I don't know why we keep feeding you.

It doesn't matter that they dated before Hikari liked Yuu and before Yami and Hikari became friends. Their past relationship directly affects all three of them in the present. Again, you don't date a close friend's ex or ask out a close friend's ex without talking to the friend. It doesn't matter if the relationship happened 3 days, 3 months, 3 years ago. It's just common sense.

I feel like we're talking in circles here. It's just strawman after strawman with this guy.

 

[Rarez]

You really don't understand or you don't want to understand? He said he's always loved Hikari since childhood. No, obviously not. He dated Yami for half a year - how can he claim he's always loved Hikari since childhood?

So to show your love. You have to stay a virgin or be celibate.
Regardless of the fact whether or not the target of your interest is interested in you too. (remember, Hikari wasn't interested in Yuu back then)

 

[HellJester]

If we talking about the kiss, That's totally Yami's fault.
If we just talking about the fact Yuu and Yami were in a relationship. That's a Hikari problem. are you saying the only someone is supposed to show their love is by staying a virgin or celibate?



Is it a lie though?

It's not a Hikari problem as their past relationship is affecting current relationships in the present (both romantic and friendship).

I don't know why you keep bringing up virgin and celibate. No one in this thread has mentioned that other than you. You keep moving the goalposts and making stuff up. No one is saying Yuu should have pined away as a virgin and hoped that Hikari would give him the time of day.

 

[robopiplup07]

You guys are honestly trying to engage with a troll, don't do that. He's arguing in circles.

 

[cajones]

I am confused about what kind of point you are trying to make. So you agree with the notion that she needs to "remove herself from the shitshow" as means of standing up for herself and not being a doormat, but then you say that not removing herself from the shitshow is her being a super hero? So hero = doormat or what?

I think I understand why you're confused. I don't agree that she should necessarily remove herself from the "shitshow", just that she shouldn't be a doormat if she stays. She can refuse to be a doormat and also remain in the situation. It's not a black and white thing. She can refuse to let Yami and Yuu mistreat her AND still try to care about them. It is entirely possible to set boundaries as a way to improve a relationship.

The heroic thing that Hikari is doing is being so graceful is how she's setting her boundaries. She's refusing to let Yami disrespect Yuu, she's refusing to just let Yuu get a happy ending with her, and it seems like she's putting her foot down about Yami lying to her and to herself. And she's doing all of that while seemingly accepting their flawed reactions in the situation. She's setting boundaries while still trying to care for her friends. It's deeply respectable. Again, almost to the point of being unbelievable. I would think this was like, some kind of Mary Sue author insert situation if it weren't for the fact that I know girls this sweet and selfless in IRL.

The important thing is that you take control of your situation, and don't let people lead you around. You can forgive anything you want, and you can decide what access to let others have. Just make sure it's a matter of you deciding for yourself, and not because you're being swayed by others, being manipulated, or putting up with disrespect/abuse/etc. You don't have to necessarily cut people out of your life. My previous post was just a rant saying that you absolutely can if you want to, precisely because you get to decide what your boundaries are and no one else.

I say this because people who are used to having unlimited, unconditional access to you take it personally and consider it unfair when you finally stand up for yourself and set boundaries. Don't listen to that crap. I think you should apologize for not having properly set boundaries in the first place, but be firm about how you want to be treated going forward. If they don't like that, that's too bad for them.

 

[rgyyttt]

So to show your love. You have to stay a virgin or be celibate.
Regardless of the fact whether or not the target of your interest is interested in you too. (remember, Hikari wasn't interested in Yuu back then)

That's him, Yuu, who said 'I've always loved you', not me. If he wanted to confess, he could have just said 'I like you, can we date?' No, he didn't. He chose to use 'I've always loved you since childhood' to add weight to his feelings. (However, he was even crying over his ex-girlfriend just an hour before, which further weakened his confession - though maybe Hikari doesn't know he cried.) But he messed up because his lie was called out directly.

And you do agree with me that he hasn't always loved Hikari, right?