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Yuu’s Chapter – Chapter 5: Fourth Time’s the Charm?
By the time Hikari and I had become second-year high school students (I didn’t really know what year Yami-senpai was in back then), I started to feel like the distance between Hikari and me had shifted again.
For example, one day…
Hikari: “Ah, obasan, I’ll do the dishes today, so please take it easy.”
Mrs. Takamura: “Really? Thank you, Hikari-chan!”
Since both of the Shirasaka parents worked, it wasn’t unusual for Hikari to have dinner at our house, the Takamuras.
But lately, whenever that happened, her behavior was, how should I put it…
Mrs. Takamura: “Ahh, you’re such a lifesaver. Hikari-chan, hurry up and marry into our family already!”
Hikari: “Eh…”
Yuu: “Don’t say embarrassing stuff like that, Mom! We’re not little kids anymore.”
Mrs. Takamura: “Oh, this boy is just so shy. If you keep that up, Hikari-chan’s going to get stolen away by some other boy, you know?”
Yuu: “Hey, Hikari, you tell her straight too! Otherwise, she’ll never learn her lesson.”
Hikari: “Ahaha… it’s fine, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “You’re okay with that…?”
Yeah, she would just go along with these lines that made me want to say, “What kind of old-fashioned family drama is this?”
Hikari: “Because, I’m always being looked after by obasan. And I’m really happy she’s always been so kind to me.”
Yuu: “Yeah, but you should at least show a little restraint… And besides, when she says stuff like that, I… I…”
Hikari: “Eh…?”
And then her cheeks would flush a little red.
She’d avert her eyes in this kind of loaded way.
Yuu: “I-it’s not like I care or anything!”
And then suddenly, she’d flash this dazzling, full-on smile that made me catch my breath.
It felt… not quite like she was seeing me as just a childhood friend.
Almost like she was brushing me off lightly, but at the same time, not rejecting me at all. It could look like either.
In short, her closeness and the warmth in her attitude made me want to corner her and ask, “Are you trying to make me misunderstand or what?” I was getting pulled around by her all over again.
It felt more like the closeness we’d had back in elementary school, rather than in middle school.
But, of course, the feelings were completely different from back then, before either of us had hit puberty.
Like high schoolers who can’t help being aware of the opposite sex, but are still trying to interact with the same closeness as when they were kids—there was that faint, off-kilter feeling.
For me, that “slight discomfort” stirred up confusion, impatience… and a flutter of excitement.
…………
…………
And yet, even while showing me those confusing attitudes that I couldn’t quite make sense of, Hikari would…
Hikari: “Oh—everything’s right! That’s amazing, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “…C’mon, Hikari.”
Hikari: “Hmm, looks like we’re about at the same pace in math. My class just did this part last week too.”
Yuu: “Stop looking at my homework and do your own.”
Hikari: “I don’t have any homework. My school values student independence.”
Yuu: “…All the more reason you should be studying on your own, then.”
Even after dinner, she’d come up to my room, saying, “No one’s home yet at my place,” and then spend time with me—studying, reading manga, or just messing around on her phone.
Just the two of us. Alone together. With no hesitation at all, like it was the most natural thing.
…Isn’t that a little dangerous?
Hikari: “Ah, you messed up here.”
Yuu: “…How do you see that in one glance?”
Hikari: “Because Aya-chan asked me about the same thing the other day. Haha, you made the exact same mistake she did.”
Yuu: “…Thanks. Tell your friend, ‘Looks like we’re kindred spirits.’”
I mean, we’re second-year high schoolers, you know?
And she’s a gorgeous childhood friend who’s been popular with guys since middle school.
And she smells really nice, too.
And on top of that, lately… it feels like the distance between us is getting closer and closer.
Hikari: “Hey, Ta~kun… are you thinking about going to college?”
Yuu: “We’re only in our second year, you know…”
Hikari: “Yeah, but don’t you think it’s about time to at least decide whether you’ll go or not?”
Yuu: “Well, I’ll go if I can, but…”
Hikari: “Ugh, that’s like the answer you give when a friend invites you somewhere and you know you’re not going.”
We’re facing each other across a little table, so our faces are close. Sometimes our feet bump under the table. Even our fingertips brush together.
If, when our fingers touched, I held her hand, and looked into her face so close by…
Yuu: “Still, why are you even asking me that?”
Hikari: “Because… I want to know what kind of school you’re aiming for, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “…Back in middle school, you didn’t care about my future at all.”
If, instead of letting go of her hand, I touched her cheek.
If I leaned in closer.
Then maybe—just maybe—just maybe…
Hikari: “Things aren’t the same as back then.”
Yuu: “What isn’t?”
As if reality itself were catching up to my imagination, Hikari turned her face slightly away from me, lowering her eyes in a suggestive way.
Hikari: “…Anyway, it’s just different now.”
A look she never had in middle school.
A possibility I never felt in middle school.
And now, even though we go to different high schools, even though there’s more distance between us than before… I can feel it.
Yuu: “…………”
Hikari: “…………”
An awkward, yet somehow comfortable silence filled my room.
A flush of red spread again across Hikari’s face, though she kept a faint smile.
It felt certain that she wasn’t finding this time awkward—in fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.
But as for me, right now…
I didn’t have the courage to just give in to that impulse.
No, it’s not like I’ve ever had that kind of courage, not since we were kids. That’s exactly why things with Hikari have always stayed the same, never moving forward.
But then, there were the two times I’d been rejected by her.
And then, the huge—truly huge—heartbreak I suffered with my first, with Yami-senpai, who wasn’t her.
Those experiences made me even more cowardly now than I was back then.
Hikari: “…My dad says he just got home.”
Yuu: “I see.”
While I was sinking into that swamp of thoughts, Hikari’s phone gave a notification chime.
Hikari: “Well, see you, okay? Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “Yeah. Good night.”
She gave me a slightly lonely smile as she left my room.
And at that same moment, the heat inside me cooled away.
But that meant…
If the heat had cooled, then…
It meant it had been burning.
My third set of feelings—for Hikari.
…………
…………
I swore I’d never… no, that I wouldn’t fall in love a fourth time.
But maybe someone weak-willed like me—who could never confess to the girl I’d always loved—was never going to be able to keep such a painful vow.
Takamura Yuu, an idiot who hasn’t changed at all, even after three heartbreaks.
It’s late, but… I think I’ll try facing my childhood friend once more.
Maruto’s post on X:
Insight:
Yeah, my main takeaway from this Yuu side story is the same as what I thought in the main story: Yuu kinda sucks. The only decent trait he has is that he’s self-aware about just how much he sucks.
It also pisses me off how he keeps acting like Hikari broke his heart, when in reality she didn’t do anything. He’s the one who broke his own heart. The only real heartbreak he’s had so far was with Yami. That’s it.

Yuu’s Chapter – Chapter 5: Fourth Time’s the Charm?
By the time Hikari and I had become second-year high school students (I didn’t really know what year Yami-senpai was in back then), I started to feel like the distance between Hikari and me had shifted again.
For example, one day…
Hikari: “Ah, obasan, I’ll do the dishes today, so please take it easy.”
Mrs. Takamura: “Really? Thank you, Hikari-chan!”
Since both of the Shirasaka parents worked, it wasn’t unusual for Hikari to have dinner at our house, the Takamuras.
But lately, whenever that happened, her behavior was, how should I put it…
Mrs. Takamura: “Ahh, you’re such a lifesaver. Hikari-chan, hurry up and marry into our family already!”
Hikari: “Eh…”
Yuu: “Don’t say embarrassing stuff like that, Mom! We’re not little kids anymore.”
Mrs. Takamura: “Oh, this boy is just so shy. If you keep that up, Hikari-chan’s going to get stolen away by some other boy, you know?”
Yuu: “Hey, Hikari, you tell her straight too! Otherwise, she’ll never learn her lesson.”
Hikari: “Ahaha… it’s fine, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “You’re okay with that…?”
Yeah, she would just go along with these lines that made me want to say, “What kind of old-fashioned family drama is this?”
Hikari: “Because, I’m always being looked after by obasan. And I’m really happy she’s always been so kind to me.”
Yuu: “Yeah, but you should at least show a little restraint… And besides, when she says stuff like that, I… I…”
Hikari: “Eh…?”
And then her cheeks would flush a little red.
She’d avert her eyes in this kind of loaded way.
Yuu: “I-it’s not like I care or anything!”
And then suddenly, she’d flash this dazzling, full-on smile that made me catch my breath.
It felt… not quite like she was seeing me as just a childhood friend.
Almost like she was brushing me off lightly, but at the same time, not rejecting me at all. It could look like either.
In short, her closeness and the warmth in her attitude made me want to corner her and ask, “Are you trying to make me misunderstand or what?” I was getting pulled around by her all over again.
It felt more like the closeness we’d had back in elementary school, rather than in middle school.
But, of course, the feelings were completely different from back then, before either of us had hit puberty.
Like high schoolers who can’t help being aware of the opposite sex, but are still trying to interact with the same closeness as when they were kids—there was that faint, off-kilter feeling.
For me, that “slight discomfort” stirred up confusion, impatience… and a flutter of excitement.
…………
…………
And yet, even while showing me those confusing attitudes that I couldn’t quite make sense of, Hikari would…
Hikari: “Oh—everything’s right! That’s amazing, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “…C’mon, Hikari.”
Hikari: “Hmm, looks like we’re about at the same pace in math. My class just did this part last week too.”
Yuu: “Stop looking at my homework and do your own.”
Hikari: “I don’t have any homework. My school values student independence.”
Yuu: “…All the more reason you should be studying on your own, then.”
Even after dinner, she’d come up to my room, saying, “No one’s home yet at my place,” and then spend time with me—studying, reading manga, or just messing around on her phone.
Just the two of us. Alone together. With no hesitation at all, like it was the most natural thing.
…Isn’t that a little dangerous?
Hikari: “Ah, you messed up here.”
Yuu: “…How do you see that in one glance?”
Hikari: “Because Aya-chan asked me about the same thing the other day. Haha, you made the exact same mistake she did.”
Yuu: “…Thanks. Tell your friend, ‘Looks like we’re kindred spirits.’”
I mean, we’re second-year high schoolers, you know?
And she’s a gorgeous childhood friend who’s been popular with guys since middle school.
And she smells really nice, too.
And on top of that, lately… it feels like the distance between us is getting closer and closer.
Hikari: “Hey, Ta~kun… are you thinking about going to college?”
Yuu: “We’re only in our second year, you know…”
Hikari: “Yeah, but don’t you think it’s about time to at least decide whether you’ll go or not?”
Yuu: “Well, I’ll go if I can, but…”
Hikari: “Ugh, that’s like the answer you give when a friend invites you somewhere and you know you’re not going.”
We’re facing each other across a little table, so our faces are close. Sometimes our feet bump under the table. Even our fingertips brush together.
If, when our fingers touched, I held her hand, and looked into her face so close by…
Yuu: “Still, why are you even asking me that?”
Hikari: “Because… I want to know what kind of school you’re aiming for, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “…Back in middle school, you didn’t care about my future at all.”
If, instead of letting go of her hand, I touched her cheek.
If I leaned in closer.
Then maybe—just maybe—just maybe…
Hikari: “Things aren’t the same as back then.”
Yuu: “What isn’t?”
As if reality itself were catching up to my imagination, Hikari turned her face slightly away from me, lowering her eyes in a suggestive way.
Hikari: “…Anyway, it’s just different now.”
A look she never had in middle school.
A possibility I never felt in middle school.
And now, even though we go to different high schools, even though there’s more distance between us than before… I can feel it.
Yuu: “…………”
Hikari: “…………”
An awkward, yet somehow comfortable silence filled my room.
A flush of red spread again across Hikari’s face, though she kept a faint smile.
It felt certain that she wasn’t finding this time awkward—in fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.
But as for me, right now…
I didn’t have the courage to just give in to that impulse.
No, it’s not like I’ve ever had that kind of courage, not since we were kids. That’s exactly why things with Hikari have always stayed the same, never moving forward.
But then, there were the two times I’d been rejected by her.
And then, the huge—truly huge—heartbreak I suffered with my first, with Yami-senpai, who wasn’t her.
Those experiences made me even more cowardly now than I was back then.
Hikari: “…My dad says he just got home.”
Yuu: “I see.”
While I was sinking into that swamp of thoughts, Hikari’s phone gave a notification chime.
Hikari: “Well, see you, okay? Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “Yeah. Good night.”
She gave me a slightly lonely smile as she left my room.
And at that same moment, the heat inside me cooled away.
But that meant…
If the heat had cooled, then…
It meant it had been burning.
My third set of feelings—for Hikari.
…………
…………
I swore I’d never… no, that I wouldn’t fall in love a fourth time.
But maybe someone weak-willed like me—who could never confess to the girl I’d always loved—was never going to be able to keep such a painful vow.
Takamura Yuu, an idiot who hasn’t changed at all, even after three heartbreaks.
It’s late, but… I think I’ll try facing my childhood friend once more.
Maruto’s post on X:

黄昏の章5話更新しました。タ~君の(歪んでいく)成長記録にお付き合いいただきありがとうございました。さあいよいよ次回更新からは第四部のスタートです! ぐっちゃぐちゃのその後をお楽しみください! #さらなみ
Yuu's Arc Chapter 5 has been updated. Thank you for following along with Ta~kun’s (increasingly twisted) growth record. Now, starting with the next update, Part 4 begins! Please look forward to the messy aftermath! #Saranami
Insight:
Yeah, my main takeaway from this Yuu side story is the same as what I thought in the main story: Yuu kinda sucks. The only decent trait he has is that he’s self-aware about just how much he sucks.
It also pisses me off how he keeps acting like Hikari broke his heart, when in reality she didn’t do anything. He’s the one who broke his own heart. The only real heartbreak he’s had so far was with Yami. That’s it.
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