100 Days without Internet (Nise)

[BlackGeneral]

Day 24

12/02/2020​

[Souce: Teekyuu – 89]

Every women hold
in the depth of their cleavage
the key of Heaven.

I would love to be able to find the key of heaven...
I never searched for the key of heaven.
When you are a kid, you don't care about heaven, you think that you will have all your life to find its key later...
But then one day, you watch yourself in the mirror and realize the irreversible truth:
“I can't keep doing the same joke everyday”

I don't really believe in it but, if there is any blind girl who fell in Love with me by reading this thread, you can contact me in PM.

 

[Nick_Asano]

@BlackGeneral I don't have any friends and I'm still looking for a job. It doesn't help that my mother keeps nagging me to go to college before getting a job every time I bring it up. As if I have the money to go to college. Or the time. Or the patience. I'm certainly not stupid enough to take out a loan. And what do you mean by "can't" go outside of your room? I'm too frugal to join a boxing/karate/pottery class, but I still take walks and pick up irresponsible shitheads' trash in store parking lots. I take care of everyone's chores because unlike the rest of my family I can't find peace in a cluttered house, I work out a lot because I don't want to become like 80% of my family, I set aside 30+ minutes a day to play with my dog because no one else will, and I pick up dog poop and do yard work regularly because I'm scared of getting another warning from the landlord. I have plenty to do without internet. The only things I'd genuinely miss is music and about 5 Youtubers. I had dozens of friends that I actually cared about on Google+, but that shut down in the beginning of 2019, and despite finding them on other social medias we stagnated and drifted apart and now we don't talk anymore.

Ps. Don't ever let anybody tell you what a "real life" is. Only you can decide that.

 

[BlackGeneral]

Cooking/eating pancakes (tip; cook them with butter or nothing at all, but NOT with oil), listening to songs recommended to me by my friends on MangaDex, drinking half a 2 liter of water (I didn't know how dehydrated I was until I started seeing colors), working out/stretching, sleep. I'd stayed up all day and night at the hospital for a friend who was undergoing surgery, so I needed it, along with everything else mentioned.

Dude... I might be wrong but I feel like your trying to play at "Who has the most miserable life?". Don't.

 

[Nick_Asano]

"Cooking/eating pancakes (tip; cook them with butter or nothing at all, but NOT with oil), listening to songs recommended to me by my friends on MangaDex, drinking half a 2 liter of water (I didn't know how dehydrated I was until I started seeing colors), working out/stretching, sleep. I'd stayed up all day and night at the hospital for a friend who was undergoing surgery, so I needed it, along with everything else mentioned."

@BlackGeneral I recognize this as something that I said a while back on some other thread, but I don't know why you're bringing it up here. Nor do I remember the context in which I said it or what thread you found it in. I'm honestly confused.

 

[BlackGeneral]

Day 23

11/02/2020​

[Source: YuriYuri𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 – 05]

Nothing more pleasing
Than the fragrant mellow thighs.
Of the one you love

I would love to have thighs to rub my face against...
I never touched thighs.
When you are a kid, you don't care about thighs, you think that you will have all your life to rub your face against them later...
But then one day, you watch yourself in the mirror and realize the irreversible truth:
“I AM BALD.”

There is now way a girl lets me touch her thighs now.

 

[BlackGeneral]

Day 22

10/02/2020​

[Source: PunchLine - 02]

Eat your salmon raw.
Brush your hair vigorously.
My beauty secrets.

I would love to be able to brush my hair like that...
I never brushed my hair.
When you are a kid, you don't care about your hair, you think that you will have all your life to brush them later...
But then one day, you watch yourself in the mirror and realize the irreversible truth:
“I AM BALD.”

I would like to say something funny but my heart is in too much pain right now.

 

[BlackGeneral]

Day 21

09/02/2020​

[Source: Joshikousei no Mudazukai - 01]
Feeding the homeless
A gratifying feeling
Who costs me nothing

What a nice guy, personally, the only thing I throw at Homeless is rocks.
Just kidding, I would never does that, if I anger them, they could bite me and turn me into one of them...

 

[BlackGeneral]

Day 20

08/02/2020​

From now on I will make a Gif/Senryuu everyday.
[Source: YuriYuri𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 - 07]

If flat is justice.
Is this the ultimate crime?
A bounciful crime...

I know bounciful isn't a real word, but it will be one day.
One day...

 

[BlackGeneral]

I'm not posting days 1 to 19 before this thread reaches 100 000 views. I need to eat too, you know...

 

[BlackGeneral]

Day 46

05/03/2020​

Even poison is
For the man deeply in love
A delicious meal

I wish a girl could cook for me...
When you become vegetarian you start to cook for yourself.
At first it's fun, you experiment recipes, read about nutrition, seek new flavors...
But then one day, you look at your saucepan and realize.
“I want to fucking die.”

I hate being hungry, but I hate cooking even more.
I want a maid guys. A cute little maid who would prepare my meals.
In the morning she would greet me with a ガオー
She would let's me sleep on her laps and I need a nap.
I would buy here a new costume every weeks.
Wolf, bear, alien... I would make a picture book... that would be nice...
That will be nice...

 

[BlackGeneral]

Day47

06/03/2020​

Okay guys, I contacted a maid agency and basically I have 4 options:
-I could sell 100 DLC by month.
-Kidnap a little girl and brainwash her.
-Get a nice girlfriend.
-Antidepressant

Well I don't have the popularity/ethnicity/hair/money to do any of that.
And yes this is a racist joke. What you gonna do? Report me to those *moderated* of moderators?
I don't care, you know what just take your stupid Gif and leave me alone...

Source: Your mom

A life without maids.
I can't take it anymore.
Just let me die please.

 

[BlackGeneral]

Day 48

07/03/2020​

Today I started a hunger-strike. I'm not eating anything until 100 of my DLC get sold.
I'm serious guys! I refuse to keep leaving without a maid anymore.
I don't care if I die.
I don't care...
It's not like their is anything else I can do anyway.
Let's be honest, taking others by pity is the only way for losers like me to ever get something in life.

Jashin-Chan no Dropckick - 03

 

[BlackGeneral]

The End.​

Don't hesitate by buy The Blu-Ray Box
Content:
-The DLC
-Day 01-19
-The Audio commentary of the Author.
-The First Volume of the Manga Adaptation.
-A T-shirt "Oppai Dekai, Waifu Janai"

 

[Jordan_Weeberson]

The Start​

The Origin story that nobody asked​

Day 1

20/01/20​

I have been struggling with Japanese for the last 6 months now.
And the main reason of my struggles is my monstrous lack of focus, caused by this bottomless rabbit hole called “The Internet”.

“The Internet” is a level 100 legendary weapon powered by every human on the Planet,
You can equip it at any level, but unless your are level 100 yourself it gonna cause you heavy permanent damages,

And I'm not level 100, so I decided to, for the next 3 months, unequip it.
By doing so, I'm changing my class from KingWeeb(Auto-proclaimed) to Monk.

Ah, studying from morning to night, everyday... I'm gonna lose my flipping mind!
And this is why I'm writing the Diary, to have a record of my slow fall into madness...

Anyway, you could say that today was kind of a bad start because I didn't do anything in Japanese, buuuut I “build” this godly desk who give me +25 productivity.

That's all.
...
Yes, it takes me an entire day to put a plank on 4 sticks.
...
I wake up late okay!

 

[Jordan_Weeberson]

Day 2

21/01/20​

So I restarted learning kanji from zero.
The thing is I already know them, but not enough, it always takes me more than 30 seconds to remember them and. that a big waste of time.
And you know it's important to have solid foundations because [Insert house metaphor]

So yeah, restart, but this time instead of simply doing Kanji→Keyword I do Keyword→Kanji and I also draw them on a paper.
Today I did 200 reps, if I continue like that it should be done in 15 days, but it's pretty unlikely.

:Sigh: Sorry, this is boring. I will try to do something more interesting tomorrow...
I could go to the mountain to fight against a bear with my bare fits, or maybe make a Gif...

 

[Jordan_Weeberson]

Day 3

22/01/20​

I re-read day 2 and it makes me think. Someone who don't study Japanese must have no idea of what I am talking about. So here is a video of MattVsJapan.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------​

So it seems that there is no bears in my region but, lucky me, the zoo had one.
A beautiful male, 180kg, Pyrenees Bear. “This gonna be a great fight” I thought.
So I asked with excitation to the guardian when I could fight with the beast and, believe me or not, he said “NO”.

Like, seriously? Why do you put an animal in a MMA cage if it is not fight it?
Watching it? Like seriously, what the hell is wrong with those normies...

I was pissed, but I stayed professional.
-Please, I promised my million of readers that I was going to fight a bear today, I am like a father to them, if I, their role model, the one they trust the most, betray them, they will never be able to trust anybody else ever again.
Do you have kids? Don't you understand?
(A manly tear dropped from the gardian's brown eyes)
“I have a son” he said by showing the picture of a monkey on is phone.
- How cute, he really looks like you (whaaaaaa...) I responded hiding my astonishment.
-Thank you, but actually he looks a lot more like his mother.
- ...
-(sight) Listen, I can let you fight the bear, he is a protected specie, and seeing how strong your are you will probably kill him in one hit.
- (With a monkey...)
- But what I can do is to let you fight one of our goose.”
-… goose? (I gasped)

Okay guys, I came to this zoo have a friendly sparing with a bear, but instead this zoophile proposes me a death match against the incarnation of Satan in a bird.
What was I supposed to do?

I watched him in the eyes, his brown eyes, brown like the bear I wanted to fight, and
told him, from man to man, father to father:" Yeah, maybe next time."
Then I went home and made this GIF.

Traditional Haiku:
With the help of Friends
You can even reach the sky
But not beat a goose.

 

[Jordan_Weeberson]

Day4

23/01/20​

200 Kanji already takes me my entire day and from tomorrow I will have to do 400 (200 new cards+200 reviews).
You know, I'm starting to think it wasn't a good idea...
I'm at the point where I would rather fight a Goose than learning another kanji, and it's only Day4.
That's my problem. I always want to do too much and then I die from exhaustion.
Well, I will try to wake up at 4a.m tomorrow.

 

[Jordan_Weeberson]

Day5

24/01/20​

Well, I didn't woke up at 4a.m but I found a way to finish my labor a little faster.
Instead of writing the Kanji on paper I use the “White Board” function of Anki.
It's not life changing but any second is good to take.

Anyways, I don't want this diary to be about me complaining about my day again and again so, “Happy Stuff Time!!!”.

In Day 3 I wrote a “Traditional Senryuu”, but what is a “Traditional Senryuu?”
Well, I have a rule “All Gif need an Senryuu and all Senryuu need a Gif.”

All started when EOTFOFYL,[Insert cool title] , created one of the greatest thread of the Internet “The Haiku Thread”.
The rules were really simple: Write a haiku and add an Illustration.
I loved the idea and this is why I keep doing it.

It's crazy how a single person, by just being themselves, can have such an impact on your life.
Without EOTFOFYL I may have never wrote a single haiku of my life.
Morality: Don't hesitate to do things differently than others, it could inspire someone. Maybe...









No homo.

 

[Jordan_Weeberson]

Day 6

25/01/20​

Since I started to learn Japanese my physical condition dropped like my will to be alive.
So I'm adding a physical challenge to all this 100 days of nonsense.
10s Full Planche/10s Front Lever/Side Split between 2 chairs.

Also I started to write 2 scripts:
“Cops Craft: The abridged Investigation”
"Hoshiai No Sora: The Abridged Patricide"

It was fun to write; so fun that I forgot about my cards...
But it's ok, I will just wake up at 4 am tomorrow.

 

[Jordan_Weeberson]

Day 7

25/01/20​

Ok guys, right now I really want to sleep, so ima keep it short
This morning I watched the 3 last episodes of Cops Craft, so here is a review.

-The opening is great.

That's all... No really that's all, and that makes me flipping sad.
I really wanted to love this anime.
1 It's an original anime.
2 Produced by the same studio behind this masterpiece called Teekyuu
3 It's a cops comedy with magic stuff.

It could have been great, but it's just... average.
I think it's the biggest deception of my life since waffle.

When I was a kid, this drug dealer who lived in my parents house for some reason, promised me to bring me to eat a waffle.
I was exited, I had never ate a waffle of my life.
So everyday I asked him, “Where the fuck is my waffle motherfucker.”
(Not what I said but probably what he heard.)
And he responded “Tomorrow little shit.”
(Without the “Little shit” but it's probably what he thought)
For months I have waited.
I was hyped to 9999%;
Everyday I imagined myself eating this waffle.
In my mind it had become the greatest thing in the universe.
Once I will eat it, I gonna see nirvana and get super powers! (I was 6)

And final came the day...
You know. If I close my eyes I can perfectly remember its taste.
Yes...It has a strong flavor of deception and broken dreams.