365 Days To The Wedding - Vol. 3 Ch. 26 - Are You Happy Being Together? (Part 4)
- Thread starter MangaDex
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@sheepdoge as a (grown) child of divorce, I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are spot on.
@klgchaos I hear ya. I was 4 when my parents divorced 28 years ago and my brother was 8. It literally ended up affecting almost every single aspect of my current life; almost every behavior and viewpoint I have in my adult life can be traced to what I experienced after my father walked out. This includes some unpleasant conditions and what I do for a living (and what I'm good at).
Since my father left at such a young age, I struggle to have a real attachment to him; the only feelings I have left are resentment at his disinterest in how his decision would affect his children and disappointment at some of his behaviors throughout his life that continue to this day. I have no real issue with only talking to him over the phone a few times a year.
When he eventually dies of old age, I'm scared that I won't be sad. If the hole in my heart that his death caused was hollow to begin with, how could I feel anything but the same apathy I feel whenever I talk to him?
After all, how could I be sad to lose a hollow relationship with someone who made the single choice that emotionally crippled me to the point where it STILL affects my relationships and has threatened to cost me my job by unknowingly passing off certain (admittedly batshit crazy) clients.
@klgchaos I hear ya. I was 4 when my parents divorced 28 years ago and my brother was 8. It literally ended up affecting almost every single aspect of my current life; almost every behavior and viewpoint I have in my adult life can be traced to what I experienced after my father walked out. This includes some unpleasant conditions and what I do for a living (and what I'm good at).
Since my father left at such a young age, I struggle to have a real attachment to him; the only feelings I have left are resentment at his disinterest in how his decision would affect his children and disappointment at some of his behaviors throughout his life that continue to this day. I have no real issue with only talking to him over the phone a few times a year.
When he eventually dies of old age, I'm scared that I won't be sad. If the hole in my heart that his death caused was hollow to begin with, how could I feel anything but the same apathy I feel whenever I talk to him?
After all, how could I be sad to lose a hollow relationship with someone who made the single choice that emotionally crippled me to the point where it STILL affects my relationships and has threatened to cost me my job by unknowingly passing off certain (admittedly batshit crazy) clients.
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@AnonMan88 I'm joining in and seconding this. Same sentiments. And it's not like it's our fault to not have any lingering attachment to them.
But I somehow feel guilty for not having one specially when I even feel lucky enough that they had a divorce before it even took the worst turn and the people around will make that guilt feeling worse.
But I somehow feel guilty for not having one specially when I even feel lucky enough that they had a divorce before it even took the worst turn and the people around will make that guilt feeling worse.
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@StLL
It's not about staying together. While it was tough, I didn't have any real issues with my parents splitting up because I knew they'd be unhappy. It was more them being so wrapped up in their own pain and issues that they seemed to forget that my sister and myself existed and were hurting, too. It wasn't like Mrs. Doubtfire where there was a heart-warming message that your parents still love you. It was just a lot of shouting, crying, and fighting (sometimes physical with my mom scratching my dad on occassion) while my sister and I hid ourselves in our room while trying to pretend it wasn't happening or worse yet, blaming ourselves for it.
Breaking up sucks. But parents need to remember that others are affected besides themselves in this- kids that may not fully understand why it's happening, and they need reassurance. Not to be ignored. Right now, the parents in this are basically leaving their child on his own as one locks herself away and the other runs away. I feel bad for the son.
It's not about staying together. While it was tough, I didn't have any real issues with my parents splitting up because I knew they'd be unhappy. It was more them being so wrapped up in their own pain and issues that they seemed to forget that my sister and myself existed and were hurting, too. It wasn't like Mrs. Doubtfire where there was a heart-warming message that your parents still love you. It was just a lot of shouting, crying, and fighting (sometimes physical with my mom scratching my dad on occassion) while my sister and I hid ourselves in our room while trying to pretend it wasn't happening or worse yet, blaming ourselves for it.
Breaking up sucks. But parents need to remember that others are affected besides themselves in this- kids that may not fully understand why it's happening, and they need reassurance. Not to be ignored. Right now, the parents in this are basically leaving their child on his own as one locks herself away and the other runs away. I feel bad for the son.
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@AnonMan88 i'm sorry for the hardships you've endured. i will say though i think the fact you're worried you won't be sad in itself is a sign you probably will be sad about it. i've learned people who fear they lack empathy over something are far more empathetic than they think.
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@bouken and @Melvin
It might be instant gratification and it might also be because there's been some sentiment among manga and anime fans that they're not so interested in the traditional romance story that's more about building to a relationship and are more interested in stories about actually being in a relationship. Especially when the story stars adult characters like this one does. It's among the reasons why stuff like Tonikaku Cawaii and Wotokoi are popular. After all, romantic relationships are more a journey than a destination in themselves. As much as I like the manga as it is, it might actually be more interesting to see these two inexperienced introverts try to date than to see them get to the point of dating.
It might be instant gratification and it might also be because there's been some sentiment among manga and anime fans that they're not so interested in the traditional romance story that's more about building to a relationship and are more interested in stories about actually being in a relationship. Especially when the story stars adult characters like this one does. It's among the reasons why stuff like Tonikaku Cawaii and Wotokoi are popular. After all, romantic relationships are more a journey than a destination in themselves. As much as I like the manga as it is, it might actually be more interesting to see these two inexperienced introverts try to date than to see them get to the point of dating.
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Wotakoi is alright, at least they knew each other, had a good basis for everything. Tonikaku well....that was kinda bullshit first love things but kinda forced and ridiculous but people don't care about it obviously.
Hey, I don't totally hate instant romances, take Yandere Kanojo or Boku no Kanojo Saikoudesu are great but some manga just feels very shallow like Tonikaku was (for me personally) and you see in this manga, they literally don't know each other, both are introverts and have no interest in dating before this, I'm just saying people shouldn't expect them to start kissing or something anytime soon. It's easy to try and appeal to people (instant romance, mindless fluff for 400 chapters...) but I think this manga is doing perfectly with its pace.
Hey, I don't totally hate instant romances, take Yandere Kanojo or Boku no Kanojo Saikoudesu are great but some manga just feels very shallow like Tonikaku was (for me personally) and you see in this manga, they literally don't know each other, both are introverts and have no interest in dating before this, I'm just saying people shouldn't expect them to start kissing or something anytime soon. It's easy to try and appeal to people (instant romance, mindless fluff for 400 chapters...) but I think this manga is doing perfectly with its pace.
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My only question is, what that stick?
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She’s emotionally stunted yikes
