To be honest, it's pretty hard to read. I applaud your attempt at translation (God knows any attempt I would make at translating Japanese would be much worse than yours) but perhaps some more practice is in order before publishing the next attempt.
Don't give up because you're getting there! Just some more work on your part should help immensely. Perhaps you can run the text by a native English speaker first for comments before publishing?
@Askun
The effort is appreciated, but I think you need more experience before releasing chapters on your own.
Especially since your english seems pretty broken, and the type setting does not help at all.
I couldn't even get past the second page... I appreciate the effort, but this needs HEAVY proofreading, I'm gona hold on seeing what's next until this gets a v2.
@Askun I hope you continue. I would rather have bad English than nothing at all. It takes a second look at each page but I can figure out what is being said easily enough.
Having someone like Finz do some editing would be ideal though. I could help with word choice if needed.
Thanks for the chapter. But as said by the others, please release at least a v2 with a new typesetter for this chapter, the font you used is quite hard to read ?