Ase to Sekken - Vol. 4 Ch. 32 - We Have to Hold a Meeting

[miyako19]

@Sem It is not a healthy practice though. If you had multiple sets, you would just change it and stuff the used ones somewhere else and forget to wash them. There will come a day you noticed that there isn't any clean one and those used ones if left for a long time would develop bacteria and bad odor since there are dust, skin fragments, hairs and god-know-what on the sheet. It is the beast to just have 2-3 sets and wash them immediately after you changed the sheet.

 

[FruitConnoisseur]

Hell yeah family drama incoming.

@idgal yes he's Asako's bro

 

[Lucrecia]

Wash the sheets - and you should also use the tumble dryer to dry them quickly - every single day. The environment certainly thanks.

 

[Alice_is_lost]

I'm loving the chapters, thank you so much for them!!
Can't wait to read the next ones 💞💕💖💞💖💖💕💕💞💖💕💞💖❤️💕💖💕❤️💖💕💞💖💕💞💖💕💞💖💕💞💕

 

[Tatherwood]

You know, I always get stuck at this part. "Eh? Every day?"
I get it, men and women have different sex drives. A guy may want it 2-3 times a day, a woman is probably not in the mood for that.

But seriously. Shouldn't you want to MAKE LOVE with the person YOU LOVE? I just can't get past this. Isn't every night a given? Exceptions apply, ofc. You can be sick, or tired, or not in the mood. But what I mean is, shouldn't the default be that? Every night save exceptions? Rather than expect it NOT to be every night?

 

[psycholis]

@Tatherwood - Libido and drive changes with time and varies per person and relationship. What's more important is communicating that with your partner and not just assuming or worse, getting down on yourself or upset with them that they're not in the mood at the same time you are. Some times it just happens like that. Doesn't have to mean anything or even imply anything. Sometimes it just ain't happening.

 

[Tatherwood]

@psycholis I get that, but as I said, that's the part that bugs me.
How do I put it... This will sound stupid, but... Do you know why stand-up comedy is funny? Cause it's relatable. They say something and you go "oh yeah, that's me". So what do we extrapolate from the fact that there are so many, and I mean SO FUCKING MANY, gags about "not tonight, my head hurts" and stuff? It means that's the norm.

As I said. I get it. It's not like you HAVE to be in the mood 24/7. But shouldn't the DEFAULT be "every night", and then negotiate from there, rather than "not every night", and then negotiate? Cause I said, if you love your partner, shouldn't you want to be intimate with them? If you're not in the mood, GETTING you in the mood is just a bit of work that your partner will gladly do...

And I mean, aren't relationships about making sacrifices for the other? Give and take? I HATE going shopping. Seriously. I get done in 5 minutes, everything else is a waste of money and time. Same with window shopping. But if my gf asks me to go shopping with her, I will GLADLY do it. I will hate every part of the shopping itself, probably even the "how does this look on me?" parts, but I will love spending time with her. Shouldn't the same compromise be done with sex? Again, even before "sitting down and diacussing", shouldn't that be default?

 

[icantnotthink]

@Tatherwood
I mean, the default just depends on the people. Me and my ex (break up unrelated to sex) had mildly conflicting sex drives part way into our relationship. I was suffering from real bad depression for a while and and it negatively affected my sex drive, bringing it from multiple times a day or once every day to once every few days or once a week. Because of our norm being once a day and me desperately trying to keep myself to it, it ended up causing a lot of self-hate in myself because, well, I just wasn't able to and I hated myself for not being able to please my ex like I did. Forcing yourself to have sex isn't like forcing yourself to go shopping. It turns an intimate experience into a chore.

The norm should be whatever is comfortable and communicated about.. If you go above it, great, but forcing yourself and making something the normal and treating it like something that has to be sacrificed for and just stress out the people involved. Especially if either of you have anxiety or depression.

 

[Tatherwood]

@icantnotthink I feel like I'm going in circles here 😅
I see your point. But wouldn't you say that YOUR SITUATION is, by definition, "an exception"? Which means it has nothing to do with the "default".

Uh... What other example can I give?
Gas (for cars, petrol, crude, you know) is expensive BY DEFAULT. "Oh yeah? Well, a few years back there was a war in whatever place and price dropped by 400%".
Uh... yeah... Price DROPPING "because of a war" is the very definition of NOT "by default". But by default, gas is expensive. Doesn't just about everyone agree on that? There's actual statistics, one of the concerns of people is the price of gas (makes sense, you need to spend money to go to work and stuff). Or, well, it was before Corona. I feel like we need to start talking about the wordl BC and AC (BCorona and BChrist are confusing tho).

So anyway, same here. Okay. In YOUR situation, YOUR "default" (yours exclussively) is different from that of 90% of the world. But that's an outliner.
In this case, what's the...uh...don't wanna use this word, "excuse"...for Asako? She likes sex, Natori likes sex. Smell fetish aside, which she's accepted, there haven't been any bed incompatibilities brought up.
Which means the only thing discussing here is, as mentioned above by psycholis "the personal circumstances" and stuff.
So I go back to the beginning. Women want it less (not true, it's just different ages, but let's generalize a bit), yada yada. But shouldn't the DEFAULT be "I love him/her, and therefore I want to be intimate with him/her. Let's start at every day and then go down from there" rather than "I love him/her, and therefore I want to be intimate with him/here. Let's start at every week and then go up/down from there"?


I mean, I don't even know why I wrote all of that, cause I just realized you're actually proving my point.

I was suffering from real bad depression for a while and and it negatively affected my sex drive, bringing it from multiple times a day or once every day to once every few days or once a week.

See? The default WAS "one/multiple times a day". And then something happened, it went down, you negotiate. But that WAS the default.

 

[icantnotthink]

@Tatherwood
Cause also not everybody is able to go once a day. There doesn't need to be a default when it comes to sex or else it becomes a chore. Not out of something like intimacy, but an obligation or a duty to get over with. Thats what I'm getting at.

Making it something you HAVE to do just turns it into a chore/duty and not either an intimate experience with your partner or a sexual relief.

And we were able to go everyday because we both had naturally high sex drives. But treating sex with a quote that has to be met is just a way to create stress and be like "oh. You're obviously fucked up if you won't have sex all the time with your partner"

 

[Tatherwood]

@icantnotthink Hm... Kinda fair, I suppose, but I feel we don't quite see the situation, or even the word "default" the same way.
"There doesn't need to be a default". Uh...yes there does. Sex is literally one of the biological IMPERATIVES, with eating and sleeping.
By "default" people eat 2-3 times a day. And from there, you negotiate. Breakfast after waking up and then mid-morning make it 4. Afternoon snack makes it 5.
No breakfast makes it 2. But there is a default.
Same with sleeping. Recommended is 8hours, but not sure how many people actually manage that. Let's say 6? And then negotiate. Or not, let's say 8 and negotiate. See? Already negotiating.

Sex is really not different. My personal sex drive, as a male, may be different from your personal sex drive, also as a male. And then maybe you have a personal, temporary circumstance. And maybe that guy is asexual. So 3 different situations. But PRECISELY because of that, there is a negotiation.
It's literally the post-it thing that Natori made. "Honey, I have a highish sex drive, I want it 3 times a day". "That's way too much, it needs to go down".
Okay. That conversation is realistic, it's adult, it needs to happen. It's part of a relationship: communication.

But I feel like, as I said, I'm going in circles. Even if guys want it more, the "not tonight honey, my head hurts" gag is way too common. At this point I don't have numbers on me, but I'm confident if I search, I'll find statistics saying that guys would generally want it every night (just once) and girls don't. And ofc, since you can't really force her, cause that's wrong, the final answer is "not every day". Which again brings me to: shouldn't you want to make love to the guy you love?
I go shopping once every 4 months, but will gladly go weekly just to spend time with her. I feel like she could yield a bit too?


But whatever. At this point, agree to disagree, I suppose.

EDIT for your edit:

Making it something you HAVE to do just turns it into a chore/duty

Notice that not once did I mention an obligation. What I have said, several times, is: shouldn't you WANT to make LOVE with the man you LOVE?
Willingess. Just like how I want to spend time with her, watching stupid romance movies, not out of obligation but because I WANT to spend time together.

 

[effel]

finally!! the brother made an appearance again hehe
the mangaka should draw ikemen more often me thinks

 

[thycondrius]

Inject this chapter into my veins...

After suffering 150 chapters for.people to kiss these two are behaving like real humans.

Thanks for the chapter