It's all a balancing act ain't it? Too bad none of us can ever find that perfect balance.
So with that being said... anyone got advice on how to tone up or, at the very least, tighten up the stomach?
You cannot target a specific body part for fat loss. It has always been a market and sales tactic. This is regardless of your biological sex. Though for males, fat gravitates more to belly, while for females, fat gravitates more to hips and thighs (until menopause). If obese, all other body parts will have excess fat.
Thus, it's food intake control and/or dedicating time to exercise. Both of which are to lower stored fat overall, which then lets your muscles show more easily.
Cardio exercise in partciular does eliminate the much more harmful fat stored around your organs (visceral fat; subcutaneous fat is the one you can see/squeeze with hands), which inhibits how receptive your brain is to the "I'm not hungry now" signals. Among other bad things, like strangling your lung expansion capacity.
So do things like... jogging, biking, walking, stairs, row machine. Or if you can't do it formally, just get some in with chores like dusting/vacuuming. Even strength exercises, while they focus on muscles, do affect cardio to an extent. Squats, pushups, and pullups target several muscles, and squats + pushups do slightly engage your core muscles. So simply exercise in general.
Beyond that, make sure your body has the nutrients (vitamins and minerals) it needs to be able to function (to be able to use the fat stored and send your brain the right signals). If you eat pretty poorly, a multivitamin supplement (from say, Costco) will help over time as long as you're counting calories properly.
Don't overdo it on anything, better to do things really slow than to burn yourself out. Give your body time to build up (stabilizer) muscles, and give yourself time to adapt to the changes you want. Start with some water intake and any exercises in small amounts (like 2-5 minutes to start if you haven't been doing any) a couple times a week, or just anything between other activities. Increase exercise slowly, drink more water, lower food intake slowly (/have more protein) so it still feels natural, don't get injured, treat your joints kindly, move around more.
Much like fat not going away via eating in excess, maintaining toned abs is a process you must always do. The idea is to adjust to it in a way that you (eventually) don't have to think about it and where it feels natural to do.