Some feedback regarding translation. I'll focus on the flaws because that's where there's room for improvement, but keep in mind I think it's fairly good. (It's like I'm giving you guys a 8/10 and talking about the missing 2 points.)
The typeface was an atypical choice, but it's fine - fairly reasonable, and it doesn't stick out.
Avoid using colours in black-and-white pages, they stick out too much. If you want emphasis, use bold or italics.
Translation notes should go to the empty space between the panels whenever reasonable, to avoid screwing over the images.
Be consistent on how you emphasize things. Pages 16-17 show this well, "3" was emphasized three different ways (red with bold, red without bold, italics).
Keep translation notes to a minimum. They're a last resource, when you absolutely cannot convey something through the text.
Betray the letter to be faithful to the spirit - a translation doesn't need to be literal, as long as it conveys the same thing as the original text.
Keep in mind the mood of the characters. For example, an angry character saying "this wrath of mine" sounds odd, something more "my wrath" would sound better.
Punctuation is bloody important. Use it, and use it well. It dictates the reading flow, and might even convey information on its own.
With that said: thank you both for the translation. I enjoyed reading it.