@magz
kinda late response, but I find it a great parallel to my experience of Chinese romance IRL too - extremely pragmatic. They will cut off and ignore feelings unless it's safe, and I wouldn't be surprised if they have a tacit mutual relationship. The problem is that they both recognize a relationship will only harm their positions and will be mutually destructive, so both of them tacitly agree to cut it off.
The more terrifying thing is how carefree they can almost flirt with each other, but yet feel nothing. I always worried whether the family I grew up with had love, or was just an exceptionally talented group of manipulative sociopaths. At least, the result is the same in the end, and we can be happy together, regardless of whether we're making each other happy, or genuinely happy ourselves.