MTL of the
novel:
Episode 25.5: Dream or Reality?
Late February.
The warm air from the AC and the thick curtains make it hard to tell, but it's probably past noon.
"Suuh, suuh..." "........."
The place is... a room in a somewhat "questionable" hotel. Fresh out of the shower, I’m wrapped in nothing but a bath towel, reflected in a large full-length mirror.
"Mm, mmm... kuuuu..." "Yuu...?"
At the moment, I had become "the woman who mischievously peers at a man’s sleeping face in bed"—a common enough scene, yet something entirely new for me.
……
……
So, how far back should I go to explain the situation?
Twenty-four hours ago, the guy sleeping in front of me—Yuu—and I were having a consolation dinner at a family restaurant.
Twelve hours ago, we were already in this hotel. But instead of doing anything significant, we were a mess—crying, yelling, exposing our immaturity.
And six hours ago... I would’ve liked to tease the two of us from back then, saying, "All your innocence was totally wasted, huh?" because what followed was utterly inappropriate but undeniably blissful...
"Suuhhh~ Fuuuhhh~" "Pfft."
I burst out laughing. But it wasn’t the kind of laugh that mocked myself or others like before.
It’s just... it was really dumb. Yuu's breathing, Yuu's sleeping face.
He was lying there with his mouth slightly open like a fish, his breathing uneven—sometimes snoring, sometimes completely silent, all over the place. Even his facial expressions kept changing, despite being asleep.
That wasn't ridiculous; it was just goofy. You get the difference in nuance, right?
"Aha, haha, ha... ~~~"
I kept teasing his sleeping face and breath, laughing, messing around...
But then, out of nowhere, I got so embarrassed by my own silliness that I covered my face with both hands.
I went and did it.
With such a childish guy. With such an innocent-looking guy. With such a gentle-looking guy.
With a guy I’ve fallen head over heels for...
Wait, this isn't right. I'm mixing up objectivity and subjectivity. I've really turned into an idiot. I used to get good grades in Japanese until middle school.
"Mmm, fugh..." "Hey, Yuu... let's go home?"
I shouldn't be lost in some lovestruck monologue like a silly kid.
We’ve been together all day yesterday, and now half of today is gone. I mean, I don’t mind at all, but Yuu's family...
He failed his entrance exams, and even though he told them where he was, what kind of parent wouldn’t worry if their kid didn’t come home the next day? ...Well, looking at my family, maybe that’s not always the case.
But after seeing how good-natured and well-raised Yuu is, you can just tell his parents must be kind, responsible, and loving. I don’t want to ruin such a nice family, not like mine...
...Yeah, until yesterday, I never would’ve thought like this.
"Come on, wake up already." "Suuh... suuhhh..."
I kneel beside the bed and lean in closer to peer at his face.
The closer I get, the goofier his sleeping face seems. But the closer I get, the more a feeling races through my mind that’s totally different from what you’d expect to feel when looking at such a silly expression.
"You healthy little brat~" "Fwah."
To hide that warm, wet feeling, I give Yuu a playful poke on the tip of his nose.
He stirs slightly but then quickly resumes his peaceful breathing, making all my (though it doesn't look like it) desperate efforts completely pointless.
Well, to be honest, I was the one who kept him up all night, so it’s no surprise he’s passed out like this.
Still, I’ve learned that just poking him won’t work. I’ll need to give him a stronger stimulus.
"If you keep sleeping so soundly like this..."
I take off the bath towel, climb onto the bed, and straddle Yuu. From right above, I gaze down at his defenseless, goofy face.
Not just my face, but my whole body draws closer to his. Close enough to feel not only Yuu's breath but his warmth too.
"You’ll have no idea what might happen~?"
Slowly, I place my hands on the blanket covering him...
"…Let's go home."
The fool is me.
I’m trying to wake him up so he can go home, so why am I getting all worked up? I want to wake him gently, so why am I getting heated?
How long am I going to drag around this flushed body and heart?
It’s just because today has been the happiest day of my life so far...
……
……
"See you, Yuu." "Mm, suuh..."
I got dressed. Set the alarm to the maximum volume for thirty minutes from now.
Even though I was rummaging around next to the bed, Yuu showed no signs of waking up. ...Will he really wake up when the alarm goes off?
Well, I’m a little worried, but still, I won’t wake him myself. The only thing I can do now is leave and take away the reason for him to stay here.
Because I just realized... ...that when Yuu wakes up in front of me, I don’t have the confidence to calmly say, "Let's go home."
"Next time... then..." "Mmm, mm..."
So for the last time... A little farewell kiss.
Just a tiny little one.
My lips missed Yuu’s and touched his cheek, three centimeters off.
Because, you know, if I kissed his lips, or stopped his breathing, he might wake up, right?
...Come to think of it.
This is the first time we’ve had such a light kiss, huh? The first time we’ve kissed without using our tongues.
And to think, the most innocent kiss we've ever had was done secretly while he was asleep.
And why does it feel so embarrassing...?
My sense of shame is definitely different from normal. What even am I?
"Well, then."
Before leaving, I take one last moment to enjoy the view. That same goofy sleeping face is still so peaceful.
You failed your first-choice school yesterday, right? And yet you’re sleeping so soundly... No, sorry. You were just really tired, huh?
Sorry about this morning’s rough time. I didn’t know how to hold back either.
……
……
Ayami Matsushita. A pretty average high school delinquent. But so what? What does that even matter?
