Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 41 - Everything, Falling Apart

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Zn5K5iN.png

Yuu’s Chapter – Chapter 2: My First Heartbreak

From the moment we first met, Hikari was someone I looked up to.

And the moment that admiration turned into love...
The moment she changed from a dependable hero into a girl I couldn’t take my eyes off—
That was around the time we started fifth grade, in the fall.

Kosuke: “Hey, Yuu, you like Shirasaka, don’t you~”
Yuu: “I do not!”

Actually, the one who noticed my feelings before Hikari did… no, even before I realized it myself…
was my friend back then, a boy named Kosuke Ishikawa, who I was pretty close with.

Kosuke: “But Yuu, you get all fidgety whenever you talk to Shirasaka lately. And during class, you keep sneaking glances at her seat and stuff~”
Yuu: “…Why do you know so much about me, anyway, Kosuke?”

Well, putting aside how observant Kosuke was when it came to me—
I still remember how I broke into a cold sweat as his words made me realize:
Yeah… now that he mentions it… that stuff’s all true…

Like when Hikari would drop by my house in super casual clothes,
and I’d catch myself staring without meaning to.
(For the record, Hikari back then didn’t seem to care at all that I was watching her.)

Or how I was totally thrown off by the “dramatic reactions” happening in my body.
Or how I got scared of the changes in myself and started keeping my distance from her…

Yeah—
That was probably the beginning of my so-called puberty.

…………

…………

Yuu: “Wait, Kosuke! What did you do!?”
Kosuke: “Chill. I did it for your sake, Yuu.”

And so, acting way too mature for a fifth grader, Kosuke pulled a ridiculous stunt just a few days later.

He casually told me in the classroom before school started that he had slipped a love letter—with my name signed on it—into Hikari’s shoe cubby.

I was speechless.

Yuu: “A-a handwritten love letter? Seriously? Who even does that anymore…”
Kosuke: “I mean, if I sent it by email, she’d know it was me right away.”
Yuu: “T-then at least use a throwaway account or something…”
Kosuke: “That’s just spam at that point. You’d believe a shady email like that, Yuu?”
Yuu: “What you did is already way past the level of spam for me…”

…Okay, never mind, I wasn’t speechless.
I talked a lot back then, didn’t I?

Kosuke: “Anyway! If she shows up at the meeting spot, it means she’s into you. And even if she doesn’t, she’ll definitely start being aware of you!”
Yuu: “…And if she doesn’t show, and nothing about her changes?”
Kosuke: “Then she’s not interested. Time to give up.”
Yuu: “You are the biggest meddler on Earth!”

Still, despite all my grumbling and whining, Kosuke skillfully talked me into it.
In the end, I never managed to retrieve that bomb of a letter he planted in her cubby.

And then, a few tense and silent minutes passed…
until finally, Hikari arrived at school—

Hikari: “Ishikawa! This prank was your doing, wasn’t it!?”
Kosuke: “She figured it out instantlyyyyy!?”

In the end, thanks to Hikari’s sharp insight and quick reaction—like a top-tier bomb squad—
we managed to avoid the worst-case scenario:
having the fake news that I sent her a love letter spread around the whole school.

…………

…………

Hikari: “That was so close, huh, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “Th-thanks, Hikari…”

That evening on our way home…
Hikari didn’t forget to check in on me, her fellow “victim” in the whole ordeal.

Hikari: “I can’t believe he played such a nasty prank… Maybe I should’ve chewed him out even more?”
Yuu: “It’s fine… Kosuke-kun did apologize, after all.”
Hikari: “Hey, Ta~kun, you’re really not being bullied or anything, right? Are you getting along okay with the other boys?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah, really… it’s not like that at all.”
Hikari: “Hmm, you sure~?”
Yuu: “Do I really seem that untrustworthy…?”
Hikari: “It’s just… you’re really kind, Ta~kun. You’re the type who can’t say no to things you don’t like.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not… well, maybe you’re right.”
Hikari: “And I hate it when the boys take advantage of that kindness and mess with you.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”

In that moment—
seeing Hikari still playing the role of “justice’s ally” just like always…

I felt like a villain, pretending to be the hero’s friend while hiding his crimes.
…Though I guess real villains don’t feel guilty about stuff like that, do they?

Because the truth is, deep down…
there was a part of me that wanted to lean on Kosuke-kun’s pure goodwill. Or his meddling. Or his cruel little prank—whatever it really was.

If Hikari had been happy to get that letter, I would’ve claimed it was a true expression of my feelings.
And if she’d hated it, I could’ve just blamed it on my friend acting on his own and gotten away clean.

If I waited to see how my childhood friend felt and then chose my stance accordingly,
then I wouldn’t have to risk getting seriously hurt…
That kind of sly, calculating side of me—
the part I didn’t want to admit existed—was definitely there.

…In the end, though, that shallow little scheme of mine didn’t stand a chance against the brilliance of Hikari’s unwavering sense of justice.

Hikari: “So listen—if you ever have trouble with anything, don’t hesitate to come talk to me, okay?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah… I’m counting on you.”

But this “hero of justice”...
was so easily fooled by a villain’s pitiful lie,
and smiled.

Hikari: “I’m glad. I was afraid you might hate me.”
Yuu: “There’s no way I’d ever…”
Hikari: “’Cause lately, Ta~kun… you’ve kind of been avoiding me, haven’t you?”
Yuu: “Ah…”

She smiled—just a little—like she was relieved.
And for some reason, that smile made me feel even more guilty.

Hikari: “I was worried… that maybe you started to hate this meddlesome side of me.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not true at all…”
Hikari: “Yeah… Hearing you say that just now makes me feel relieved.”

The girl who was like a child of the sun—so bright I had to look away—
was still watching over me, not as someone special,
but just like a regular girl who happened to live next door.

Hikari: “To me, Ta~kun, you’ve always been a precious childhood friend.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”
Hikari: “So I’m not gonna stop worrying about you, or talking to you at school, or butting into your business, okay?”
Yuu: “…Thanks.”

Like family.

That’s why I could believe it—
that Hikari had never once even considered the possibility,
that I might actually like her.

My feelings hadn’t reached her at all.

Maybe this was my punishment.
For not being able to confess without my friend pushing me into it.

Hikari: “So anyway! I was thinking… can I come over to your place today? It’s been a while.”
Yuu: “A while? You’ve been coming over every week.”
Hikari: “That’s just for dinner! I haven’t been to your room lately.”
Yuu: “Wait—hold on! Then I need to clean up!”
Hikari: “It’s fine, it’s fine~! My room’s a total mess too~”

From that day on, the distance between Hikari and me went back to the way it used to be.
The kind of distance where we could come and go from each other’s rooms freely,
and no one thought twice about it.

Just two childhood friends.

And that day—
was the day I experienced my first heartbreak.


Maruto’s post on X:

FbQggZX.png




Insight:

I don’t have much to say… but I don’t think this chapter did Yuu’s image any favors. At least he’s self-aware enough to admit that he let things play out to see what would happen without fully compromising himself:
Wait I'm confused, so his heart break was self-inflicted from his own guilt from lying about the love letter?
 
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Wait I'm confused, so his heart break was self-inflicted from his own guilt from lying about the love letter?
I feel like this part is what it's really about:

Hikari: “To me, Ta~kun, you’ve always been a precious childhood friend.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”
Hikari: “So I’m not gonna stop worrying about you, or talking to you at school, or butting into your business, okay?”
Yuu: “…Thanks.”

Like family.

That’s why I could believe it—
that Hikari had never once even considered the possibility,
that I might actually like her.

My feelings hadn’t reached her at all.

Maybe this was my punishment.
For not being able to confess without my friend pushing me into it.

Which is kind of weird, because he didn’t really do anything—he just let it happen and waited to see how Hikari would respond to the letter. I mean, sure, he got 'childhood friendzoned,' but he never actually made an effort to express his feelings to her.
 
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Messages
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I feel like this part is what it's really about:



Which is kind of weird, because he didn’t really do anything—he just let it happen and waited to see how Hikari would respond to the letter. I mean, sure, he got 'childhood friendzoned,' but he never actually made an effort to express his feelings to her.
Oh I see, I think I get it, so the author is going all in on him being a "coward" as he himself claims.
 
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I don’t have much to say… but I don’t think this chapter did Yuu’s image any favors. At least he’s self-aware enough to admit that he let things play out to see what would happen without fully compromising himself:

Oh I see, I think I get it, so the author is going all in on him being a "coward" as he himself claims.

Agreed, "Yuu takes the easy way out" is the most important part. Him realizing it makes it worse. It means he had a chance to do better, but made the same mistake again and again. Understandable when you're 10, or 15, I guess.
 
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486
Thanks!!! Actually just got out of a showing of Superman and was checking if a new chapter was out!!!
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Zn5K5iN.png

Yuu’s Chapter – Chapter 2: My First Heartbreak

From the moment we first met, Hikari was someone I looked up to.

And the moment that admiration turned into love...
The moment she changed from a dependable hero into a girl I couldn’t take my eyes off—
That was around the time we started fifth grade, in the fall.

Kosuke: “Hey, Yuu, you like Shirasaka, don’t you~”
Yuu: “I do not!”

Actually, the one who noticed my feelings before Hikari did… no, even before I realized it myself…
was my friend back then, a boy named Kosuke Ishikawa, who I was pretty close with.

Kosuke: “But Yuu, you get all fidgety whenever you talk to Shirasaka lately. And during class, you keep sneaking glances at her seat and stuff~”
Yuu: “…Why do you know so much about me, anyway, Kosuke?”

Well, putting aside how observant Kosuke was when it came to me—
I still remember how I broke into a cold sweat as his words made me realize:
Yeah… now that he mentions it… that stuff’s all true…

Like when Hikari would drop by my house in super casual clothes,
and I’d catch myself staring without meaning to.
(For the record, Hikari back then didn’t seem to care at all that I was watching her.)

Or how I was totally thrown off by the “dramatic reactions” happening in my body.
Or how I got scared of the changes in myself and started keeping my distance from her…

Yeah—
That was probably the beginning of my so-called puberty.

…………

…………

Yuu: “Wait, Kosuke! What did you do!?”
Kosuke: “Chill. I did it for your sake, Yuu.”

And so, acting way too mature for a fifth grader, Kosuke pulled a ridiculous stunt just a few days later.

He casually told me in the classroom before school started that he had slipped a love letter—with my name signed on it—into Hikari’s shoe cubby.

I was speechless.

Yuu: “A-a handwritten love letter? Seriously? Who even does that anymore…”
Kosuke: “I mean, if I sent it by email, she’d know it was me right away.”
Yuu: “T-then at least use a throwaway account or something…”
Kosuke: “That’s just spam at that point. You’d believe a shady email like that, Yuu?”
Yuu: “What you did is already way past the level of spam for me…”

…Okay, never mind, I wasn’t speechless.
I talked a lot back then, didn’t I?

Kosuke: “Anyway! If she shows up at the meeting spot, it means she’s into you. And even if she doesn’t, she’ll definitely start being aware of you!”
Yuu: “…And if she doesn’t show, and nothing about her changes?”
Kosuke: “Then she’s not interested. Time to give up.”
Yuu: “You are the biggest meddler on Earth!”

Still, despite all my grumbling and whining, Kosuke skillfully talked me into it.
In the end, I never managed to retrieve that bomb of a letter he planted in her cubby.

And then, a few tense and silent minutes passed…
until finally, Hikari arrived at school—

Hikari: “Ishikawa! This prank was your doing, wasn’t it!?”
Kosuke: “She figured it out instantlyyyyy!?”

In the end, thanks to Hikari’s sharp insight and quick reaction—like a top-tier bomb squad—
we managed to avoid the worst-case scenario:
having the fake news that I sent her a love letter spread around the whole school.

…………

…………

Hikari: “That was so close, huh, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “Th-thanks, Hikari…”

That evening on our way home…
Hikari didn’t forget to check in on me, her fellow “victim” in the whole ordeal.

Hikari: “I can’t believe he played such a nasty prank… Maybe I should’ve chewed him out even more?”
Yuu: “It’s fine… Kosuke-kun did apologize, after all.”
Hikari: “Hey, Ta~kun, you’re really not being bullied or anything, right? Are you getting along okay with the other boys?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah, really… it’s not like that at all.”
Hikari: “Hmm, you sure~?”
Yuu: “Do I really seem that untrustworthy…?”
Hikari: “It’s just… you’re really kind, Ta~kun. You’re the type who can’t say no to things you don’t like.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not… well, maybe you’re right.”
Hikari: “And I hate it when the boys take advantage of that kindness and mess with you.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”

In that moment—
seeing Hikari still playing the role of “justice’s ally” just like always…

I felt like a villain, pretending to be the hero’s friend while hiding his crimes.
…Though I guess real villains don’t feel guilty about stuff like that, do they?

Because the truth is, deep down…
there was a part of me that wanted to lean on Kosuke-kun’s pure goodwill. Or his meddling. Or his cruel little prank—whatever it really was.

If Hikari had been happy to get that letter, I would’ve claimed it was a true expression of my feelings.
And if she’d hated it, I could’ve just blamed it on my friend acting on his own and gotten away clean.

If I waited to see how my childhood friend felt and then chose my stance accordingly,
then I wouldn’t have to risk getting seriously hurt…
That kind of sly, calculating side of me—
the part I didn’t want to admit existed—was definitely there.

…In the end, though, that shallow little scheme of mine didn’t stand a chance against the brilliance of Hikari’s unwavering sense of justice.

Hikari: “So listen—if you ever have trouble with anything, don’t hesitate to come talk to me, okay?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah… I’m counting on you.”

But this “hero of justice”...
was so easily fooled by a villain’s pitiful lie,
and smiled.

Hikari: “I’m glad. I was afraid you might hate me.”
Yuu: “There’s no way I’d ever…”
Hikari: “’Cause lately, Ta~kun… you’ve kind of been avoiding me, haven’t you?”
Yuu: “Ah…”

She smiled—just a little—like she was relieved.
And for some reason, that smile made me feel even more guilty.

Hikari: “I was worried… that maybe you started to hate this meddlesome side of me.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not true at all…”
Hikari: “Yeah… Hearing you say that just now makes me feel relieved.”

The girl who was like a child of the sun—so bright I had to look away—
was still watching over me, not as someone special,
but just like a regular girl who happened to live next door.

Hikari: “To me, Ta~kun, you’ve always been a precious childhood friend.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”
Hikari: “So I’m not gonna stop worrying about you, or talking to you at school, or butting into your business, okay?”
Yuu: “…Thanks.”

Like family.

That’s why I could believe it—
that Hikari had never once even considered the possibility,
that I might actually like her.

My feelings hadn’t reached her at all.

Maybe this was my punishment.
For not being able to confess without my friend pushing me into it.

Hikari: “So anyway! I was thinking… can I come over to your place today? It’s been a while.”
Yuu: “A while? You’ve been coming over every week.”
Hikari: “That’s just for dinner! I haven’t been to your room lately.”
Yuu: “Wait—hold on! Then I need to clean up!”
Hikari: “It’s fine, it’s fine~! My room’s a total mess too~”

From that day on, the distance between Hikari and me went back to the way it used to be.
The kind of distance where we could come and go from each other’s rooms freely,
and no one thought twice about it.

Just two childhood friends.

And that day—
was the day I experienced my first heartbreak.
Yep essentially what I expected reinforcing he really puts himself down and lacks any fucking confidence and honestly his "heartbreak" here is on him she really didn't do anything he didn't confess his feelings and she didn't even really imply anything it was just him overthinking



Maruto’s post on X:

FbQggZX.png




Insight:

I don’t have much to say… but I don’t think this chapter did Yuu’s image any favors. At least he’s self-aware enough to admit that he let things play out to see what would happen without fully compromising himself:
Yeah true but it is nice seeing more of them together and definitely nice seeing stuff from his point of view
 
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Aug 26, 2024
Messages
156
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Zn5K5iN.png

Yuu’s Chapter – Chapter 2: My First Heartbreak

From the moment we first met, Hikari was someone I looked up to.

And the moment that admiration turned into love...
The moment she changed from a dependable hero into a girl I couldn’t take my eyes off—
That was around the time we started fifth grade, in the fall.

Kosuke: “Hey, Yuu, you like Shirasaka, don’t you~”
Yuu: “I do not!”

Actually, the one who noticed my feelings before Hikari did… no, even before I realized it myself…
was my friend back then, a boy named Kosuke Ishikawa, who I was pretty close with.

Kosuke: “But Yuu, you get all fidgety whenever you talk to Shirasaka lately. And during class, you keep sneaking glances at her seat and stuff~”
Yuu: “…Why do you know so much about me, anyway, Kosuke?”

Well, putting aside how observant Kosuke was when it came to me—
I still remember how I broke into a cold sweat as his words made me realize:
Yeah… now that he mentions it… that stuff’s all true…

Like when Hikari would drop by my house in super casual clothes,
and I’d catch myself staring without meaning to.
(For the record, Hikari back then didn’t seem to care at all that I was watching her.)

Or how I was totally thrown off by the “dramatic reactions” happening in my body.
Or how I got scared of the changes in myself and started keeping my distance from her…

Yeah—
That was probably the beginning of my so-called puberty.

…………

…………

Yuu: “Wait, Kosuke! What did you do!?”
Kosuke: “Chill. I did it for your sake, Yuu.”

And so, acting way too mature for a fifth grader, Kosuke pulled a ridiculous stunt just a few days later.

He casually told me in the classroom before school started that he had slipped a love letter—with my name signed on it—into Hikari’s shoe cubby.

I was speechless.

Yuu: “A-a handwritten love letter? Seriously? Who even does that anymore…”
Kosuke: “I mean, if I sent it by email, she’d know it was me right away.”
Yuu: “T-then at least use a throwaway account or something…”
Kosuke: “That’s just spam at that point. You’d believe a shady email like that, Yuu?”
Yuu: “What you did is already way past the level of spam for me…”

…Okay, never mind, I wasn’t speechless.
I talked a lot back then, didn’t I?

Kosuke: “Anyway! If she shows up at the meeting spot, it means she’s into you. And even if she doesn’t, she’ll definitely start being aware of you!”
Yuu: “…And if she doesn’t show, and nothing about her changes?”
Kosuke: “Then she’s not interested. Time to give up.”
Yuu: “You are the biggest meddler on Earth!”

Still, despite all my grumbling and whining, Kosuke skillfully talked me into it.
In the end, I never managed to retrieve that bomb of a letter he planted in her cubby.

And then, a few tense and silent minutes passed…
until finally, Hikari arrived at school—

Hikari: “Ishikawa! This prank was your doing, wasn’t it!?”
Kosuke: “She figured it out instantlyyyyy!?”

In the end, thanks to Hikari’s sharp insight and quick reaction—like a top-tier bomb squad—
we managed to avoid the worst-case scenario:
having the fake news that I sent her a love letter spread around the whole school.

…………

…………

Hikari: “That was so close, huh, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “Th-thanks, Hikari…”

That evening on our way home…
Hikari didn’t forget to check in on me, her fellow “victim” in the whole ordeal.

Hikari: “I can’t believe he played such a nasty prank… Maybe I should’ve chewed him out even more?”
Yuu: “It’s fine… Kosuke-kun did apologize, after all.”
Hikari: “Hey, Ta~kun, you’re really not being bullied or anything, right? Are you getting along okay with the other boys?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah, really… it’s not like that at all.”
Hikari: “Hmm, you sure~?”
Yuu: “Do I really seem that untrustworthy…?”
Hikari: “It’s just… you’re really kind, Ta~kun. You’re the type who can’t say no to things you don’t like.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not… well, maybe you’re right.”
Hikari: “And I hate it when the boys take advantage of that kindness and mess with you.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”

In that moment—
seeing Hikari still playing the role of “justice’s ally” just like always…

I felt like a villain, pretending to be the hero’s friend while hiding his crimes.
…Though I guess real villains don’t feel guilty about stuff like that, do they?

Because the truth is, deep down…
there was a part of me that wanted to lean on Kosuke-kun’s pure goodwill. Or his meddling. Or his cruel little prank—whatever it really was.

If Hikari had been happy to get that letter, I would’ve claimed it was a true expression of my feelings.
And if she’d hated it, I could’ve just blamed it on my friend acting on his own and gotten away clean.

If I waited to see how my childhood friend felt and then chose my stance accordingly,
then I wouldn’t have to risk getting seriously hurt…
That kind of sly, calculating side of me—
the part I didn’t want to admit existed—was definitely there.

…In the end, though, that shallow little scheme of mine didn’t stand a chance against the brilliance of Hikari’s unwavering sense of justice.

Hikari: “So listen—if you ever have trouble with anything, don’t hesitate to come talk to me, okay?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah… I’m counting on you.”

But this “hero of justice”...
was so easily fooled by a villain’s pitiful lie,
and smiled.

Hikari: “I’m glad. I was afraid you might hate me.”
Yuu: “There’s no way I’d ever…”
Hikari: “’Cause lately, Ta~kun… you’ve kind of been avoiding me, haven’t you?”
Yuu: “Ah…”

She smiled—just a little—like she was relieved.
And for some reason, that smile made me feel even more guilty.

Hikari: “I was worried… that maybe you started to hate this meddlesome side of me.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not true at all…”
Hikari: “Yeah… Hearing you say that just now makes me feel relieved.”

The girl who was like a child of the sun—so bright I had to look away—
was still watching over me, not as someone special,
but just like a regular girl who happened to live next door.

Hikari: “To me, Ta~kun, you’ve always been a precious childhood friend.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”
Hikari: “So I’m not gonna stop worrying about you, or talking to you at school, or butting into your business, okay?”
Yuu: “…Thanks.”

Like family.

That’s why I could believe it—
that Hikari had never once even considered the possibility,
that I might actually like her.

My feelings hadn’t reached her at all.

Maybe this was my punishment.
For not being able to confess without my friend pushing me into it.

Hikari: “So anyway! I was thinking… can I come over to your place today? It’s been a while.”
Yuu: “A while? You’ve been coming over every week.”
Hikari: “That’s just for dinner! I haven’t been to your room lately.”
Yuu: “Wait—hold on! Then I need to clean up!”
Hikari: “It’s fine, it’s fine~! My room’s a total mess too~”

From that day on, the distance between Hikari and me went back to the way it used to be.
The kind of distance where we could come and go from each other’s rooms freely,
and no one thought twice about it.

Just two childhood friends.

And that day—
was the day I experienced my first heartbreak.


Maruto’s post on X:

FbQggZX.png




Insight:

I don’t have much to say… but I don’t think this chapter did Yuu’s image any favors. At least he’s self-aware enough to admit that he let things play out to see what would happen without fully compromising himself:
The fact that Maruto basically says Yuu is a self insert makes a lot of sense on how he writes these.

Thank you for posting man!

I agree, this doesn't really help Yuu's image at all. Doesn't really hurt it but it doesn't help. Just reinforces how weak he is. Young kid at this time though, so understandable. But learned nothing from it apparently.
 
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Wait I'm confused, so his heart break was self-inflicted from his own guilt from lying about the love letter?
As far as I can tell it's b/c Hikari knew him well enough to know he didn't write it so didn't think to even consider it seriously 🤦‍♀️

While I'm sympathetic to 11 year old, and even 15 year old, Yuu, he's seriously not beating the "tried (almost?) nothing & all out of ideas" charges (yet?).
 
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Apr 5, 2018
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the poor kind hearted mc getting dumped for no reason from his ex, and dumped again from his childhood friend, and both actualy love him
As they explain in their respective yelling at him scenes: Aya ghosted him b/c she thought he wasn't that into her & Hikari rejected him 'cause he lied to her. Both are solid reasons to dump someone since security and trust are pretty important in healthy relationships.
ETA: this is not to condone the ghosting or pushing, just asserting that both girls gave their reasons.
 
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2/3 more chapters of the side novel left I think we get to see of yuu's pov will be probably about his second heartbreak him meeting and dating aya and maybe the kiss slap and rejection from hikari until we get back to the manga
I think manga returns in early sept or late August
 
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The fact that Maruto basically says Yuu is a self insert makes a lot of sense on how he writes these.

Thank you for posting man!
That's something I actually didn't think about till you point it out and makes alot of sense and honestly I kinda respect it

As someone who also struggled with being self rather self decorating back in middle school (not nearly to this degree but still and getting a supportive gf did WONDERS in my freshman year for that but still) I think I sympathize alot with Yuu and probably why I feel way more understanding than a lot of people seem too

I agree, this doesn't really help Yuu's image at all. Doesn't really hurt it but it doesn't help. Just reinforces how weak he is. Young kid at this time though, so understandable. But learned nothing from it apparently.
yeah completely agree reinforcing his negative traits but he's so young i can't blame him really for not knowing better

As they explain in their respective yelling at him scenes: Aya ghosted him b/c she thought he wasn't that into her & Hikari rejected him 'cause he lied to her. Both are solid reasons to dump someone since security and trust are pretty important in healthy relationships.
ETA: this is not to condone the ghosting or pushing, just asserting that both girls gave their reasons.
Yep pretty much- I feel Hikari’s is more justified since Aya had an understandable reason, but went about it in a toxic way while Hikari's was completely understandable
 
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Something I just thought about is I really wonder if now knowing Hikari does in fact live him (and of course rejecting him) is going to force him to do some major self reflection and realize how ridiculous his self deprecating nature is and realize just how important trusting Hikari and being open and honest with her is ESPECIALLY if he wants to be with her
 
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Oh I see, I think I get it, so the author is going all in on him being a "coward" as he himself claims.
I mean there are two folds to this. First, yeah, he was a "coward". But he was fucking 11. The second however, as Hikari mentions herself, he would absolutely fail anyway which could have turned their entire relationship weird because he was so out of Hikari's radar that it's not even funny. So his gut feeling for avoiding the confession was correct. You can't expect from an 11 yo to just send a make or break / no return possible decision. If anything, he is way too retrospective for a teenager, assuming narration is from the current day Yuu.
 
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Yuu’s Chapter – Chapter 2: My First Heartbreak

From the moment we first met, Hikari was someone I looked up to.

And the moment that admiration turned into love...
The moment she changed from a dependable hero into a girl I couldn’t take my eyes off—
That was around the time we started fifth grade, in the fall.

Kosuke: “Hey, Yuu, you like Shirasaka, don’t you~”
Yuu: “I do not!”

Actually, the one who noticed my feelings before Hikari did… no, even before I realized it myself…
was my friend back then, a boy named Kosuke Ishikawa, who I was pretty close with.

Kosuke: “But Yuu, you get all fidgety whenever you talk to Shirasaka lately. And during class, you keep sneaking glances at her seat and stuff~”
Yuu: “…Why do you know so much about me, anyway, Kosuke?”

Well, putting aside how observant Kosuke was when it came to me—
I still remember how I broke into a cold sweat as his words made me realize:
Yeah… now that he mentions it… that stuff’s all true…

Like when Hikari would drop by my house in super casual clothes,
and I’d catch myself staring without meaning to.
(For the record, Hikari back then didn’t seem to care at all that I was watching her.)

Or how I was totally thrown off by the “dramatic reactions” happening in my body.
Or how I got scared of the changes in myself and started keeping my distance from her…

Yeah—
That was probably the beginning of my so-called puberty.

…………

…………

Yuu: “Wait, Kosuke! What did you do!?”
Kosuke: “Chill. I did it for your sake, Yuu.”

And so, acting way too mature for a fifth grader, Kosuke pulled a ridiculous stunt just a few days later.

He casually told me in the classroom before school started that he had slipped a love letter—with my name signed on it—into Hikari’s shoe cubby.

I was speechless.

Yuu: “A-a handwritten love letter? Seriously? Who even does that anymore…”
Kosuke: “I mean, if I sent it by email, she’d know it was me right away.”
Yuu: “T-then at least use a throwaway account or something…”
Kosuke: “That’s just spam at that point. You’d believe a shady email like that, Yuu?”
Yuu: “What you did is already way past the level of spam for me…”

…Okay, never mind, I wasn’t speechless.
I talked a lot back then, didn’t I?

Kosuke: “Anyway! If she shows up at the meeting spot, it means she’s into you. And even if she doesn’t, she’ll definitely start being aware of you!”
Yuu: “…And if she doesn’t show, and nothing about her changes?”
Kosuke: “Then she’s not interested. Time to give up.”
Yuu: “You are the biggest meddler on Earth!”

Still, despite all my grumbling and whining, Kosuke skillfully talked me into it.
In the end, I never managed to retrieve that bomb of a letter he planted in her cubby.

And then, a few tense and silent minutes passed…
until finally, Hikari arrived at school—

Hikari: “Ishikawa! This prank was your doing, wasn’t it!?”
Kosuke: “She figured it out instantlyyyyy!?”

In the end, thanks to Hikari’s sharp insight and quick reaction—like a top-tier bomb squad—
we managed to avoid the worst-case scenario:
having the fake news that I sent her a love letter spread around the whole school.

…………

…………

Hikari: “That was so close, huh, Ta~kun.”
Yuu: “Th-thanks, Hikari…”

That evening on our way home…
Hikari didn’t forget to check in on me, her fellow “victim” in the whole ordeal.

Hikari: “I can’t believe he played such a nasty prank… Maybe I should’ve chewed him out even more?”
Yuu: “It’s fine… Kosuke-kun did apologize, after all.”
Hikari: “Hey, Ta~kun, you’re really not being bullied or anything, right? Are you getting along okay with the other boys?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah, really… it’s not like that at all.”
Hikari: “Hmm, you sure~?”
Yuu: “Do I really seem that untrustworthy…?”
Hikari: “It’s just… you’re really kind, Ta~kun. You’re the type who can’t say no to things you don’t like.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not… well, maybe you’re right.”
Hikari: “And I hate it when the boys take advantage of that kindness and mess with you.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”

In that moment—
seeing Hikari still playing the role of “justice’s ally” just like always…

I felt like a villain, pretending to be the hero’s friend while hiding his crimes.
…Though I guess real villains don’t feel guilty about stuff like that, do they?

Because the truth is, deep down…
there was a part of me that wanted to lean on Kosuke-kun’s pure goodwill. Or his meddling. Or his cruel little prank—whatever it really was.

If Hikari had been happy to get that letter, I would’ve claimed it was a true expression of my feelings.
And if she’d hated it, I could’ve just blamed it on my friend acting on his own and gotten away clean.

If I waited to see how my childhood friend felt and then chose my stance accordingly,
then I wouldn’t have to risk getting seriously hurt…
That kind of sly, calculating side of me—
the part I didn’t want to admit existed—was definitely there.

…In the end, though, that shallow little scheme of mine didn’t stand a chance against the brilliance of Hikari’s unwavering sense of justice.

Hikari: “So listen—if you ever have trouble with anything, don’t hesitate to come talk to me, okay?”
Yuu: “Y-yeah… I’m counting on you.”

But this “hero of justice”...
was so easily fooled by a villain’s pitiful lie,
and smiled.

Hikari: “I’m glad. I was afraid you might hate me.”
Yuu: “There’s no way I’d ever…”
Hikari: “’Cause lately, Ta~kun… you’ve kind of been avoiding me, haven’t you?”
Yuu: “Ah…”

She smiled—just a little—like she was relieved.
And for some reason, that smile made me feel even more guilty.

Hikari: “I was worried… that maybe you started to hate this meddlesome side of me.”
Yuu: “Th-that’s not true at all…”
Hikari: “Yeah… Hearing you say that just now makes me feel relieved.”

The girl who was like a child of the sun—so bright I had to look away—
was still watching over me, not as someone special,
but just like a regular girl who happened to live next door.

Hikari: “To me, Ta~kun, you’ve always been a precious childhood friend.”
Yuu: “Hikari…”
Hikari: “So I’m not gonna stop worrying about you, or talking to you at school, or butting into your business, okay?”
Yuu: “…Thanks.”

Like family.

That’s why I could believe it—
that Hikari had never once even considered the possibility,
that I might actually like her.

My feelings hadn’t reached her at all.

Maybe this was my punishment.
For not being able to confess without my friend pushing me into it.

Hikari: “So anyway! I was thinking… can I come over to your place today? It’s been a while.”
Yuu: “A while? You’ve been coming over every week.”
Hikari: “That’s just for dinner! I haven’t been to your room lately.”
Yuu: “Wait—hold on! Then I need to clean up!”
Hikari: “It’s fine, it’s fine~! My room’s a total mess too~”

From that day on, the distance between Hikari and me went back to the way it used to be.
The kind of distance where we could come and go from each other’s rooms freely,
and no one thought twice about it.

Just two childhood friends.

And that day—
was the day I experienced my first heartbreak.


Maruto’s post on X:

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Insight:

I don’t have much to say… but I don’t think this chapter did Yuu’s image any favors. At least he’s self-aware enough to admit that he let things play out to see what would happen without fully compromising himself:
Thanks as always
 
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I mean there are two folds to this. First, yeah, he was a "coward". But he was fucking 11. The second however, as Hikari mentions herself, he would absolutely fail anyway which could have turned their entire relationship weird because he was so out of Hikari's radar that it's not even funny. So his gut feeling for avoiding the confession was correct. You can't expect from an 11 yo to just send a make or break / no return possible decision. If anything, he is way too retrospective for a teenager, assuming narration is from the current day Yuu.
First of all- yeah he's 11 so completely understandable why I'm not giving him a hard time here but I think the more interesting part to note is it seems that this behavior CONTINUED all the way to the modern day, at least seemingly

Also yeah like you said even she admits she didn't have feelings for him back then (although if I remember correctly, I think she said that she was just pretty sure she would have turned him down but that's splitting hairs honestly)
 
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First of all- yeah he's 11 so completely understandable why I'm not giving him a hard time here but I think the more interesting part to note is it seems that this behavior CONTINUED all the way to the modern day, at least seemingly

Also yeah like you said even she admits she didn't have feelings for him back then (although if I remember correctly, I think she said that she was just pretty sure she would have turned him down but that's splitting hairs honestly)
I mean this is not the only thing. Hikari also apparently played the middle man for the girls trying to confess to him which probably started to happen little later after this chapter. Hikari doing that just cemented his stance "she doesn't even see me as a man" (he was right) so his behavior being persistent later on is pretty normal. It would be weird if it didn't stay that way.

Hikari has never given him any other reason to think otherwise up until to the point of her own confession. She probably thinks she gave him some hints after falling in love with him but for Yuu, it was tuesday because she has always been close to him with no sense of boundaries (like a sister). Most readers love to play the gigachad honest man with their reader pov hindsight but NO ONE would confess after witnessing the way Hikari acted in their youth." Shooting your shot" doesn't work when your life long friendship is on the line. Specially with families being so close to one another. Empathy leaves the building when you try to self insert too much i guess.
 
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She probably thinks she gave him some hints after falling in love with him but for Yuu, it was tuesday because she has always been close to him (like a sister)
Yeah, that was her error, she should have realized she was always sidelining him and only giving hints ain't gonna cut it. At the same time, it's her very late blooming first love, so she is even less experienced than the rest of the triangle.
 
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Yeah, that was her error, she should have realized she was always sidelining him and only giving hints ain't gonna cut it. At the same time, it's her very late blooming first love, so she is even less experienced than the rest of the triangle.
I mean if we are being honest, rest of the triangle (apart from the angst) was pretty much living the usual highschooler life. Not the" shounen romcom virgin till marrige good at everything head in the clouds FMC made for self inserts" life Hikari got going on. She always reminds me why i don't read shounen romcoms.
 

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