I know. I know this is a dream. And I know he is already dead. No one here knows he exists and everyone there has long since forgotten him. When all is said and done, his existence has vanished from the world.
And yet, despite knowing this, I still have these sorts of dreams about him. Because he forms the nucleus of the existence known as “me.” I and I alone must never forget that he exists. I’ll carve the proof of his life into my heart so that he can live on.
◇ ◇ ◇
Not once had he ever thought about wanting to die. He had parents like everyone else. He had friends like everyone else. As a young man, he was poor like everyone else at that age, but he had enough to eke by day after day.
On the other side of Earth, all sorts of things plagued humanity. Conflict. Strife. Terror. Disease. Humans died for these unjust reasons and more. Compared to them, he lived a blessed existence because death posed no danger to him.
But he was unaware. He understood neither the purpose nor the value of his life. He had always known that he was a selfish human who lived his life according to his own selfish principles. And perhaps that was exactly why he felt he was all alone in the world. Why, even with so many people around him, he was still deeply aware of his aloneness.
Yes, he was alone. The big, wide world was shockingly narrow. All its brightness, all its color, faded.
The days were unchanging. He lived the same one over and over again. It made him want to vomit. He didn’t know how to struggle against the weight, much less escape from it. He had no idea what he wished for, and no clear plan for what he wanted to do with his life.
He wondered if everyone was the same as him. If they, too, had concluded that there was no other way to live in this monochromatic world. If they had, then what a truly cruel world this was.
With those feelings in his heart, he died for a stupid reason out of his control. Like a pebble on the side of the road, he accomplished nothing, gave no meaning to his existence, until he breathed his last.
! My life is worthless
