My webcomic, Blues is launched!

[williamk22]

Nice day! my webcomic , Blues chapter 5 is released!


Synopsis
A funeral. A man who won't stop following him. Orlando’s world begins to crack—first in his sleep, then in waking life. He’s no longer sure what’s real. At first, it's unsettling. Then it becomes unbearable.

Genre - Mystery
Format - Black and White, Vertical Scroll

Don't worry, its a short chapter.
Give it a try! Its not gonna take your long time!

You can read from below :

https://mangadex.org/title/75201b31-a2c8-4f69-b349-c3898b452c3c/blues


If there is any part of the drawing or the story seems unclear to you,
feel free to leave the comment!

 

[Doedoel]

Alright, sure, I'll check it out.

 

[Doedoel]

Ch. 1: This reminds me of a rookie comics by upcoming Indonesian artist. It looks rough, but there's a certain charm to it. The pacing felt really fast; I don't like how the setting went from a funeral to a school with imminent flooding without any breaks.
Ch. 2: Pacing is still fast. Whew.
Ch. 3: It's an improvement, I think. I like the ending of the chase scene; great usage of vertical scrolling mangas. Great work!
Ch. 4: Try to use more exclamation marks. The police chief, I'm guessing; his dialogue doesn't seem to show any urgency or anger. Bonus points if you could pick a better font that matches with the tone. Story wise, I don't think it's getting anywhere.
Ch. 5: Okay... yeah, I'm still lost on what the plot is about. The homeless people are actually criminals, and they're responsible for the death of Orlando's friend? I think it would be better if you can show that right away at the first 3 chapters.

All that said, I respect you for putting up your work on MangaDex. Takes a lot of effort and courage to do that. Apologies if my suggestions sounds vague to you.

 

[williamk22]

Thanks for the feedback and suggestion!

For the pacing, I’ll try adding more panels in the transition scene to make it smoother.
Thanks for liking the ending of chase scene in Chapter 3, it took me a while to figure how to draw it. 😅
The exclamation marks and diffrent font, you’re spot on! It's a good suggestion.
For the plot, yes, i agree it should be revealed more in the first 3 chapters. My mistake in the planning. 😅

Because the view is kind of low in other sites, and i'm not receiving many useful feedback/comment. So, it's hard for me to know what are the exact problems in my work. Though i can guess some problem maybe like, grammar mistake, poor word choice, boring plot, uninteresting character and lack of battle scene (maybe?), but it always better for people telling me otherwise i keep guessing myself, i'll be doom. 😂

Thanks for reading it! I’m very glad to get your perspective.

 

[williamk22]

Ch. 1: This reminds me of a rookie comics by upcoming Indonesian artist. It looks rough, but there's a certain charm to it. The pacing felt really fast; I don't like how the setting went from a funeral to a school with imminent flooding without any breaks.
Ch. 2: Pacing is still fast. Whew.
Ch. 3: It's an improvement, I think. I like the ending of the chase scene; great usage of vertical scrolling mangas. Great work!
Ch. 4: Try to use more exclamation marks. The police chief, I'm guessing; his dialogue doesn't seem to show any urgency or anger. Bonus points if you could pick a better font that matches with the tone. Story wise, I don't think it's getting anywhere.
Ch. 5: Okay... yeah, I'm still lost on what the plot is about. The homeless people are actually criminals, and they're responsible for the death of Orlando's friend? I think it would be better if you can show that right away at the first 3 chapters.

All that said, I respect you for putting up your work on MangaDex. Takes a lot of effort and courage to do that. Apologies if my suggestions sounds vague to you.

Thanks for the feedback and suggestion!

For the pacing, I’ll try adding more panels in the transition scene to make it smoother.
Thanks for liking the ending of chase scene in Chapter 3, it took me a while to figure how to draw it. 😅
The exclamation marks and diffrent font, you’re spot on! It's a good suggestion.
For the plot, yes, i agree it should be revealed more in the first 3 chapters. My mistake in the planning. 😅

Because the view is kind of low in other sites, and i'm not receiving many useful feedback/comment. So, it's hard for me to know what are the exact problems in my work. Though i can guess some problem maybe like, grammar mistake, poor word choice, boring plot, uninteresting character and lack of battle scene (maybe?), but it always better for people telling me otherwise i keep guessing myself, i'll be doom. 😂

Thanks for reading it! I’m very glad to get your perspective.