No Home - Ch. 240 - Haejoon Goh's Home (6)

[MangaDex]

 

[Gu7]

Haejoon definitely struck a nerve in the bathroom

 

[comeonnow0]

You know what I'm realizing? Eunyung is bad at acting...if he's not given directions. Yeah, he's obviously a good actor on the stage, but he's kind of bad at acting informally.

 

[BCS]

Hm, so that's the angle? Eunyung's reactions would be unerstandable as long as they were limited to family because of his own shitty family experiences, but not being able to stand other people being happy in general?

 

[Ceiye]

People can feel two things at once. More, even

 

[comeonnow0]

People can feel two things at once. More, even

But... No. That's impossible!

 

[Kendama]

You know what I'm realizing? Eunyung is bad at acting...if he's not given directions. Yeah, he's obviously a good actor on the stage, but he's kind of bad at acting informally.

I dunno about that, read the first arc again, for example. I think he's only getting bad at acting with some people who know him very well, like Haejoon. And maybe, just maybe, he gets bad at acting with Haejoon because his guard is down with him and he subconsciously doesn't want to deceive him.

Hm, so that's the angle? Eunyung's reactions would be unerstandable as long as they were limited to family because of his own shitty family experiences, but not being able to stand other people being happy in general?

Turning that around, maybe he's a little like his Dickbutt friend… wanting people he cherishes to stay down in the same pit he is, instead of cheering them when they try to climb out. All too human, I'd say. At least, it seems that Haejoon calling him out on it has made him reflect on his actions.

That aside, Wanan has me playing to their tune. I can't tell whether Eunyung is right or just spiteful about Haejoon's family situation.

 

[comeonnow0]

I dunno about that, read the first arc again, for example. I think he's only getting bad at acting with some people who know him very well, like Haejoon. And maybe, just maybe, he gets bad at acting with Haejoon because his guard is down with him and he subconsciously doesn't want to deceive him.



Turning that around, maybe he's a little like his Dickbutt friend… wanting people he cherishes to stay down in the same pit he is, instead of cheering them when they try to climb out. All too human, I'd say. At least, it seems that Haejoon calling him out on it has made him reflect on his actions.

That aside, Wanan has me playing to their tune. I can't tell whether Eunyung is right or just spiteful about Haejoon's family situation.

To be clear, I was half facetious and half serious. Like mildly joking while trying to be serious at the same time. Your criticism of me is valid, but I just want to expand on it.

I think Eunyung doesn't know what HE wants. Similar to how you and Gu7 said that Haejoon struck a nerve. When Eunyung knows what he wants out of a social situation, he can navigate it decently well. But there are times, like here as well as when he was about to apply for the theater club, when he doesn't know what he wants and, as a result, he just kind of... Does whatever. He fails to be socially appropriate. With the drama/theater club, he could've easily just explained what happened on the last day of the deadline, how he had to take his friend to the hospital. He was directly asked what happened by the bald teacher. Explaining when asked would be the socially appropriate thing to do. He didn't do it because he was unsure of what he wanted.

Here, he is unsure of what he actually wants. He says inappropriate things to Haejoon. If he definitively did want to just make Haejoon miserable, he could just say that. He has literally said similar things to Haejoon in the past. But here, he is unsure of if that's what he definitely wants. He might. He might not.

That's my feeling on it, at least.

 

[Robby_Rotten]

Eunyung got that unspoken rizz

 

[LucidDayDreamer]

My bad opinion of the dad has basically solidified at this point. What the Uncle did was horrible, and he himself admits to that, vs the father who would bad talk the mom & made excuses for himself. In the end, who was there for Haejoon when his mom died? His Uncle. His Uncle stepped up and was the adult he could rely on. I don't think debts are a good enough excuse to continue going no contact with your kid once you learn their legal guardian has passed. If the Uncle is so bad, why on earth would you entrust your child with him? Why not visit from time to time to make sure everything is going well? Why not at least swap phone numbers with your kid so he can contact you if something's wrong? There are many things he could've done that would've protected both himself and Haejoon but he just didn't do them.
While I don't think he has some ulterior motive like Eunyung does, he's not someone I would want to be around.

 

[anyarysn]

haejoon clocked his tea in the bathroom😭😭

 

[comeonnow0]

My bad opinion of the dad has basically solidified at this point. What the Uncle did was horrible, and he himself admits to that, vs the father who would bad talk the mom & made excuses for himself. In the end, who was there for Haejoon when his mom died? His Uncle. His Uncle stepped up and was the adult he could rely on. I don't think debts are a good enough excuse to continue going no contact with your kid once you learn their legal guardian has passed. If the Uncle is so bad, why on earth would you entrust your child with him? Why not visit from time to time to make sure everything is going well? Why not at least swap phone numbers with your kid so he can contact you if something's wrong? There are many things he could've done that would've protected both himself and Haejoon but he just didn't do them.
While I don't think he has some ulterior motive like Eunyung does, he's not someone I would want to be around.

I'll be devil's advocate for a bit because iunno, I feel like it. No, I don't really like the father that much. Still too early to tell for me.

Why not visit from time to time? Why not swap phone numbers? Is that not what he's doing now? It sure seems like that's what he's doing now. He's trying to be a part of Haejoon's life now. To be fair, I don't know if he has swapped phone numbers. That's a thing I could believe happening in the background, unseen to the readers, but that's something I could see happening.

On that note, building a relationship with his son. He has tried to appeal to some of the only shared memories they have together. The shared memories of his mother. When he brought up the mother's hours-long punishment in the previous chapter, I saw the other comments saying that he was badmouthing the mother. And while I agreed with those to an extent, it's like... What else is he going to talk about? He tried saying something he thought Haejoon could remember that he shared with him. In the first chapter with the dad, the dad did blame himself for not being there and that the mother and Haejoon must have suffered. Like, I don't know. It seems like he was doing "normal" things. Normal is not good. Normal is self-focused. Look at him blaming the uncle here. Normal is pointing out the flaws in others and trying to minimize your own issues. Normal is not always good, but normal is still normal.

I legitimately worked in child welfare for multiple years. Not in South Korea, I'll be clear about that. In that light, I'm still of the opinion of it being too soon to judge the father.

 

[columbidae]

Haejoon is trying to be a shounen protag with the "maybe we can all be friends" while his uncle and father are on such bad terms that the uncle will not allow him to stay at his father's house, and his father immediately badmouths his uncle in response.
Dude did grow up in a haunted apartment so maybe things are still looking up from his perspective.
Eunyung can't seem to catch a break from his old "friend" so his pessimism is understandable if a bit hasty.

 

[LucidDayDreamer]

Why not visit from time to time? Why not swap phone numbers? Is that not what he's doing now? It sure seems like that's what he's doing now.

If you read my comment I specify that this is something he should've done the day his mother died. Haejoon is almost an adult, he'll still of course need a parental figure even when he does reach legal age, but you cant deny it would've been much more beneficial for him to know his father existed and cared for him (even if not there physically) after his mother's death.

What else is he going to talk about?

Happy memories that don't involve bad mouthing the kid's dead mom. Crazy idea, I know.
Isolated the father bringing this up wouldn't be a huge issue, as Haejoon deserves to know the type of person his mother is, & it is something Haejoon seemed to reciprocate positivly. However, he only brought it up to further sully her name. To me, it seems as if he's trying to make the mom look bad so Haejoon would be more likely to like/accept him.

but normal is still normal.

The reason why we bring up issues despite them being "normal" is because what is "normal" isnt always good. Beating children used to be (& to many still is) normal. But as we talk about the harms corporal punishment against children causes them we denormalize it. Slowly it becomes stigmatized and not normal.
In short, just because something is normal does not make it immune to criticism and further introspection onto how it may cause harm.

 

[comeonnow0]

If you read my comment I specify that this is something he should've done the day his mother died. Haejoon is almost an adult, he'll still of course need a parental figure even when he does reach legal age, but you cant deny it would've been much more beneficial for him to know his father existed and cared for him (even if not there physically) after his mother's death.


Happy memories that don't involve bad mouthing the kid's dead mom. Crazy idea, I know.
Isolated the father bringing this up wouldn't be a huge issue, as Haejoon deserves to know the type of person his mother is, & it is something Haejoon seemed to reciprocate positivly. However, he only brought it up to further sully her name. To me, it seems as if he's trying to make the mom look bad so Haejoon would be more likely to like/accept him.


The reason why we bring up issues despite them being "normal" is because what is "normal" isnt always good. Beating children used to be (& to many still is) normal. But as we talk about the harms corporal punishment against children causes them we denormalize it. Slowly it becomes stigmatized and not normal.
In short, just because something is normal does not make it immune to criticism and further introspection onto how it may cause harm.

I've responded in previous chapters to the ludicrous idea that he should have been there the day the mother died. It's highly unrealistic and, quite frankly, actively makes the world a worse place because you set an unrealistic burden on him.

The mother had cut off all communication with him. He thought that the mother was raising Haejoon fine, and she died SUDDENLY. In an accident. He had no way of knowing that she had died the day it happened. I'll be fairly realistic. Funerals are usually held soon after the death of the person. It makes complete sense to say he also could not have realistically have been there at the funeral.

In an earlier chapter, I said it was fine to criticize him for not being there for the roughly one year time frame unless he had some specific excuse. I am completely okay with saying he waited too long and should be criticized for that. But I will at least cut him some slack and say he had no way of being there for Haejoon in the day of the mother's death and, probably, at least two weeks. I think two weeks is reasonable as a bare minimum, but maybe longer.

But your statement of he should've been there on that same day actively makes the world worse because you have this HIGHLY unrealistic expectation that he inevitably fails. And please don't say you were exaggerating and simply meant that he should've been there sooner. That would be a cop out of your own words.

---

Happy memories. So many problems with what you wrote. First, the father divorced and was cut off fairly early on in Haejoon's life. That's a fact. It is a possibility, then, that they may not have many happy memories together. Like, that's a completely possible situation. As such, they would bond over the only thing they do have in common, the mother. Crazy idea to bond over shared experiences and memories, huh?

Second, it actually did seem like some of the memories were happy. Doing the thing you said he should do. Crazy idea. I can GUESS that he ALSO talked about happy memories and wasn't only putting down the mother during their entire conversation when they were in the restaurant. It would be really weird if that was the ONLY thing they talked about. I don't think it unreasonable to say they did bond over whatever happy memories they could share.

He only brought it up to "sully" her name. Let me be clear that I am by no means trying to just blanket defend the father. But I will call out when people make assumptions that just fit their own story. That's what you're doing here. In his first interaction with Haejoon, at the beginning of the arc, he directly said the mother suffered a lot because of their financial situation. That does not seem like the kind of thing someone would say if they just want to sully the mother's name. It is your assumption to say the he brought her up to silly her. You might be right, but I am still going to call out the assumption.

---

Nah. No surprise that normal isn't always good. Why would I ever agree with that statement? Me, the person who first said normal isn't always good, agreeing with you now saying normal isn't always good? Could never happen.

Okay, calming down a moment, I might be misinterpreting WHY you are saying that. We are obviously in agreement, but it feels weird as hell for you to say that here. To me. The one who first said it.

What you did is shallow. You can't just say we talk about the harms of corporal punishment against children and slowly denormalize it. Do you not see that you are appealing to normalcy right there? You didn't go into the harms of it. You said we denormalize it. No, I don't expect you to give a full explanation of the harms. I do expect you to avoid saying "denormalize" in a conversation where you specifically say normal isn't good.

And the reason I brought up normality even though I was the one to bring up that normal isn't good is to at least highlight my own position and try to make clear any assumptions I have. I definitely am making lots of assumptions, but I try to be clear about them. I'm going to fail, obviously, but I'm trying to communicate them.

Especially with that sully comment, that was a clear assumption you made that you just took as granted and as fact, somehow. You didn't even acknowledge that.

 

[karmscharms]

you know what, im starting to think that this story is going on a fucking loop just to torture me and have me in constant emotion distress. how many more misunderstandings can i take from eunyung and haejoon before i lose my sanity 😭

 

[yeonjunney]

oh yeahhh that was a good freaking chapter, its good to get Haejoon's thoughts on the situation for once too.

Eunyung has been so relatable this arc too, it sucks when everyone is moving on and doing good cuz it seems like youre being left behind. Hoping for the worst for them is exactly like haejoon said, wanting something bad to happen but also being worried about it too.

 

[kirantine]

i think both of them have a good point — haejoons too forgiving, and eunyung is too... eunyung? pessimistic? idk what to say.

Idk man if i were haejoon i won't give them both the time of day unless they say something like "yeah I'll pay for your studies and everything, just pls consider maybe meals at home every now and then 🥺"

but eunyung doesn't know how to be happy when good thing comes to others.