@elbichoraro
You're being over dramatic about me misspelling your name. It was a mistake and it represents nothing but that mistake.
I don't condemn your choice not to date, but your mindset is clearly troubled. I can see you're trying to evade people trying to help. But you shouldn't do that. I don't know if you've been to therapy, but you should go. It's not just for people cripplingly depressed. And if it didn't work in the past, know that it was the fault of the therapist not you or therapy in general. You do this a lot, conflating a singular experience of getting hurt with the entirety of what you attempted to do. I know you're scared, but don't give up.
What do you think will happen when you decide to stop caring?
Why do you think that a select few people are representitive of everyone you could create about?
I'm sorry if you have trauma from harassment in the past. But to give up on yourself because someone else did something horrible to you, it's silly is isnt it. You're essentially saying that these losers get to dictate your life, which they don't.
Is getting angry wrong?
I think you have difficulty expressing your anger in the right way. But getting angry is normal. Getting angry is good.
Maybe you're not a good person. Maybe you're an asshole. So what? I accept you regardless. I'm sure many other people do too. As long as you strive to become good, no one is going to hate you.
People make it at numerous points in their lives. Everyone falls at some point. I know sixty year olds going back to college or some trade or learning any other of the billion things they can. I have failed and fell flat on my face numerous times too.
If I'm leaving you with anything, it's go to therapy and never give up hope; Never stop trying to be better; never let your self loathing prevent your success. If therapy doesn't work, try it again and again.